Why We Have To Protect Our Mindset As Black Women.

“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman, the most unprotected person in America is the Black woman, the most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”  – Malcolm X

There is this…thing. This weird thing that continues to happen and it’s so weird that I didnt even want to address it.

Why are black women always to blame? For anything. For everything. For nothing.

The news never fails me. When I need a reminder of the imbalance when it comes to the scales of justice and it’s misrepresentation of black women, I literally turn to it knowing that I will be fulfilled in my need to be reminded just how far behind in that race we are in. Last place.

  • In 2014, African Americans constituted 2.3 million, or 34%, of the total 6.8 million correctional population.
  • African Americans are incarcerated at more than 5 times the rate of whites.
  • The imprisonment rate for African American women is twice that of white women.
  • Nationwide, African American children represent 32% of children who are arrested,
    42% of children who are detained, and 52% of children whose cases are judicially waived to criminal court.
  • Though African Americans and Hispanics make up approximately 32% of the US
    population, they comprised 56% of all incarcerated people in 2015.
  • If African Americans and Hispanics were incarcerated at the same rates as whites,
    prison and jail populations would decline by almost 40%.
  •  via https://www.naacp.org/criminal-justice-fact-sheet

It’s the same reason a black woman placing a claim is not as impactful as a white woman placing a claim. Even with the rape culture, white woman holds president when it comes to judges hearing and prosecuting their attacker, at a lower rate than the prosecute black women’s attackers. Take into consideration the countless number of men (majority black) who are behind bars because a white woman claimed she was assaulted. The evidence is subpar, the details and accounts don’t line up properly, yet, they are prosecuted and serving time for crimes that they couldnt give you the details of because they simply were not present at the time of it.

In the Malcolm X quote stated above, which I have heard a million times, it sounds like a cry for help. The lack of interest when it comes to the protection of the black woman is directly centered around the culture in which we are raised.

From early childhood, most African American women are handed responsibilities that she is not trained or has the knowledge to handle. Most times, we are taught to cook, clean and cater to the needs of a man so that we are chosen when the time comes. We are presentable and capable of being a wife. Wait…you already teaching me how to be a wife and I haven’t learned how to get a girl yet?! I haven’t learned how to be a woman. You skipped all of that and went straight to grooming me to be a wife. That’s not how it works, especially if you aren’t using that same energy with boys; teaching them to be a husband out the gate. It’s unfair that I have to be stripped of my childhood because I was born into a competition that I don’t remember signing up for. You have to think before you say things, think before you do things. I don’t care how many “shares” “likes” “comments” you get when you make a post “joking” about R. Kelly and his predatory ways, I can tell you as a woman who experienced sexual assault myself, it’s not funny. I don’t see the sense of making fun of anyone else’s pain. Social media hype be damned.

This is not being said to discount the claims made from women of any other color, this is just me giving the facts that have been given to me.

I try so hard not to address “social” topics on “social media” because there are so many different ways to offend people without knowing. I’ll say this about the “R. Kelly” thing. Anyone that has been a victim of an older man preying on your innocence and nativity, you understand the depths of the pain he caused those young girls. Any interaction a girl has with a man in the early stages of her life will directly impact her when she becomes a woman. It changes your mindset. It changes the way you look at and accept love from men. You constantly strive to “love” someone the way that you are used to be loved. It molds your tolerance and acceptance of things. That’s why fathers are important, its the first male relationship that a woman will have with a man. It’s the foundation of how she responds to the husband you’ve been prepping her for since as far back as she can remember.

I am…so glad that I wasn’t raised under the pretense that a man complete my destiny. I was raised on Jill Scott.

If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would even matter? You’d still be mad at me
If I can find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you’d still be miserable
In reality I’m gon’ be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults for all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may bring me down when I say
That it ain’t up to you, go on do what you do ” Jill Scott    
Songwriters: Adam W. Blackstone / Jill H. Scott / Steven Wadell MckieHate on Me lyrics © Jellybean Music Group ArtistJill ScottAlbumThe Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3Released: 2007Recorded: 2006Producer(s)Adam Blackstone

We have to start protecting our mindsets. We have to protect our children. We have to allow them to be children. We have to re- enforce their beauty or they’ll search for it in arms, and beds that mean them no good. We have to change the narrative. We have to protect ourselves and go hard for ourselves the way that we go hard for others. We have to remember who GOD called us to be. You can’t be his peace if your life is in turmoil. Now, we have to also remember the valuable things instilled in us. We have to remember those teachings that craved us and made us into who we are today. We have to be better at protecting ourselves before we can be the “better half” to anyone else.

Pssssttt! We have another release coming 09.06!

I Get Lost In Your Love

 

 

 

#Dirty30 & Get Laid in Vegas.

That was the plan. That was the entire plan and ExZhia Bishop had prepped her mind and body to be completely in line with the plan. She decided that she would leave her morals, common sense and decency back home in Dallas and just go for it. Determining that she only lived once, and turned thirty once. She wanted to do something brazen and completely out of character for her and she had her plan. That was until a morning run turned into an accident that shifted her plans as well as her life in a way that threatened to ruin her birthday and her opportunity to sow her wild oats.

Daniel is in a weird space, one that he dreads deeply and wishes to be delivered from. Divorce is hard in itself but the added level of betrayal he was experiences made him feel broken in more ways than he can verbalize. He had to shake back and in order to do that, his close friends conclude that a spontaneous trip to Vegas is the thing that he needs.

Two paths that constantly cross are surely meant to be tangled in some way. Right?

I Get Lost In Your Love is a witty, fun-filled love story about pain, growth and the journey of love.

Most of you have already gotten a look into this book at the end of Right At Love (https://goo.gl/PoswkD) but here is an extended sneak peek!

 

Chapter 29!

…but it’s literally the Prologue, so not really!

 

This chapter should be called…running (literally running) into a fine man at the park! But nope, I decided to go with an ode to the slaying of my youth. When I say slaying, I don’t mean it in the sense that my loveable Houstonian Beyonce meant it. I mean it in its natural sense- the overkill and literal death of my youth. I don’t know why we as women freaked out when we hit the curve to turn thirty but I was definitely following suit with the norm. Well, it was either that or I had some sort of death wish. What other reason would I be running like I stole something at five in the morning? Ok, I wasn’t running that fast because I just wasn’t naturally athletic per say. Ok, let me be honest because this was my first time running all year. I mean, I ran to the elevator when it was about to leave. I also ran into the church when I was behind schedule. I even ran to the mailbox but my feet never increased in its speed or tempo when I did that. But everyone says they ran to the mailbox so I think it’s only fair that we count my trips as running as well.

I’m rambling before I even introduce myself. My name is ExZhia Raine Bishop. Yeah, my momma was tripping hard when she named me so all my real friends call me Zhia. All the people in my life that liked being assholes called me Ex. I’d been living with that name for the last twenty-nine years and I probably came out the wound wanting to change it to something simple like Leslie or Brittany but my momma all out cried the first time I ran the idea by her. She started going off about my roots and the fact that my African ancestors would turn over in their graves if I Americanized my name. I didn’t even know if my name had African roots for real because sometimes my momma be reaching. I wanted to tell my momma that the chances of me visiting Africa in my lifetime were slim to none. Maybe I would be able to make it in my second like when I came back as a white woman named Leslie with good credit dripping in white privilege. Yes, white privilege is a thing and I was well aware of it. This ain’t what this book is about though, so we won’t get into that. As I already stated, I’m twenty- nine years old and pretty sure I was experiencing a premature midlife crisis. When my best girlfriends called me to see how I would be celebrating my Dirty 30, I literally had a mental breakdown right in front of the elevator that I had just run to. It was a mess. A complete mess. I literally cried in my corner office at one of the biggest technical advancement corporations in the world. I had snot and spit-ugh! I was a very low day for me. After that breakdown though, I was able to pull myself together and actually create real plans. I would hit Vegas and get sloppy drunk. So drunk that the fact that I was thirty, unmarried with no kids didn’t throw me into the great depression of two thousand and eighteen. Was going to Vegas and getting drunk the ideal situation for me? No, not at all. But I spent so much time crying about turning thirty that I forgot that I had to actually celebrate my birthday. So my last minute plans were the same as everyone else’s- go to Vegas, get drunk and maybe have a one night stand with a fine stranger that I’ll never see again.

The one night stand thing was a reach being that my momma drilled me with these things that I found annoying in my old age- morals. Farah Bishop was so serious about waiting until marriage that I think she made a song and dance to go with the saying. Though I did get buck wild in college- it was a very contradictory version of what most would expect to be attached to that term. I didn’t all out wild out but I did toss my v-card out the window and throw my ass in a circle a few times because ain’t that what college is really about? Losing cards and ass throwing? Of course, it was.

So, here I was running and sounding like I was about to have an asthma attack at the crack of dawn because well- it seemed like what I should be doing. I was not a size two and like I said- me and athletics? Nah. I was one of those people who looked to be in great shape and was absolutely not. I had a nice full figure that I inherited from my southern roots. I was the weirdo stuck between being thick and fat- you know that silver lining- I paid rent there. Honestly, though, I wasn’t trying to change anything about my body. I actually loved my body even with my cellulite, big thighs, and ass. I wasn’t the sexiest thing but the way my confidence was set up, you couldn’t tell me shit about me. My hair was in its natural state, graced with about fiddyllem different curl patterns that I tortured myself by trying to tame every night and morning. I was moving up the ladder at Prime Source, which was a fast-growing technical engineering company out of Dallas that I started to work at fresh from Sam Houston State University. I should own the company honestly but you know that glass ceiling black women encounter in corporate America? Yeah, I’ve hit my head on it a few times. I was one of the head engineers which afforded me a corner office and a fat salary but I knew this was as far as I would get for a while. As an old dirty bastard- thirty-year-old- black woman, I wasn’t doing so bad.

I was just about to pick up the pace in my run when Spotify failed me. My face scrunched up as I pulled my watch to my face to look at what was blasting through my ear. “Camila- what? Ew, no!” I groaned as I skipped to the next song, listening as Monica filled my ear. “Yassssss!”

“Oh shit!”

That wasn’t me. Nope! I didn’t yell out when the collision happened. I was too busy trying to register the pain that was radiating through my ass. “Fuck!” I hissed as I lay on the ground looked up at the sun as it pulled from its slumber of the night. I blinked before allowing my eyes to close because this shit hurt. My entire body hurt.

“I’m sorry, beautiful! I didn’t see you!”

I wasn’t even listening to whoever was talking to me because I was pretty sure I was about to die. He sounded like Jesus because when I pray, this was exactly how Jesus sounded- like a fine, black man. I felt his presence near me, then I felt a hand on me, then two and honestly- it was the most action I’d had in a while so that drew my eyes open. I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the light before they opened completely. Yeah, I was dying. “Jesus?”

I saw his smile, his teeth perfect and shining. His hands were still on me. I really didn’t mind dying though because Jesus was fine and I knew he was probably gone send me to Hell if he was reading my thoughts right now. Jezebels always went to Hell is what my mother told me.

My ass was stinging so bad that it was making my head throb. “Am I at the Pearly Gates or nah,” I groaned as he looked down at me.

His face twitched before he moved his hand from mine down to my ankle. “I can assure you that you are not. Does your ankle hurt?”

“Everything hurts,” I replied as I went to move.

“Please don’t move,” he insisted as he pressed my shoulder down. “I’m going to call an ambulance.”

“I can’t go to the hospital. I have to get to work.” I replied as I tried to move again, only to have pain shoot through me. “Ugh!” I gritted as he pressed his hand to my shoulder more firmly.

“Please?” He asked again and for some reason, I listened. I kept my eyes closed before for some reason that made my pain less present. “You took a pretty nasty fall and I’m sorry that I ran into you. I saw you but then you were out of my path until well- you weren’t. Then we collided.”

“Yeah, I was there for the collision but I didn’t see you.”

I heard him telling someone our location in the park- more than likely the ambulance- but I was in too much pain to eavesdrop productively.

“Is there someone that I need to call?”

I shook my head. “There’s no one that needs to know that I busted my ass in the park.”

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was but my ankle did have a slight sprain. I really couldn’t be in Vegas walking around like Sir Limp A Lot so this ankle had two weeks to get its life together.

“How are you feeling, Ms. Bishop?”

I looked at the curtain as the nurse pushed it back and immediately wondered why the hell I was behind a curtain and not in a real room. “Ma’am, I have real life insurance.”

She laughed, clutching the chart to her chest. “Of course you do, Ms. Bishop. We left you down here because we didn’t feel the need to move you upstairs. We did a scan on your head and the rest of your body and the only thing we came up with was the issue with your ankle which was already explained to you. Outside of that, there is nothing else that you need to pay attention to.” She pulled the clipboard from her chest and grabbed her pen. “Now, I wrote you two prescriptions for pain: Tylenol 4’s and Ibuprofen.”

“Two different kinds?”

“You’ll have a lot of pain during the healing process. You don’t feel anything right now because you’re on Ibuprofen. Now, your boyfriend has been asking about you since you came back here. He wants to know if it’s ok for him to come back.”

My brows hiked. “I’m sorry?”

“Your boyfriend.”

“Hey!”

Both the nurse and I turned at the same time at the sound of the voice coming from the opening of the curtain. I literally had to fight to keep my mouth was dropping open. He was not Jesus but he was so fine that I was just God handcrafted him with time, love and a lot of melanin. He was the epitome of too sexy to be real. Tall frame, possibly around 6’7, he literally looked like he was dipped in chocolate, his eyes dipped in honey. His hair was cut low to his head, waves circling his head. He was fine. I mean, next level fine. I wanted to lick him in weird places that any normal person wouldn’t want to lick a stranger.

“I wanted to check on you.” His voice was still sexy as hell. Deep and penetrating. Just looking at him was messing with my blood pressure. The nurse nodded her head before she walked out of the room, leaving me with this fine stranger that told her that he was my, “Boyfriend?” I asked with a blank expression.

His handsome face twitched into a smile as he stepped closer to me. “My name is actually Daniel. I just didn’t want them to kick me out before I checked on you.”

Looking down at the wrap around my ankle, I replied, “It’s just small sprain from what they explained.”

Those words made his face tighten. “Ah damn, I’m sorry about all of this.”

I shrugged, pressing my hands to the bed. “It’s fine. It should be fine soon anyway.”

“Well, I feel bad about this. I just wasn’t looking when I should have been and now your ankle is messed up.”

I could tell that he was really bothered and I wanted to comfort him- say something to make him chill- but these drugs had me loopy. “I –uh. It’s really fine. I’m going to call my friend and have her-.”

“No, please.” His voice. His eyes. Shit. “Let me take you home? I promise I’m not a creep or anything like that. I just- I would like to take you home. That’s the least I could do.”

I wasn’t comfortable with that at all. For one, I didn’t want him to know where I live. For two, I knew I’d ask his ass up for a cup of coffee, tea or me at the first opportunity I had- sprained foot be damned. “Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

“I insist.” He licked his lips and I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be a sexual gesture at this moment but I had all kinds of freaky thoughts running through my mind.

“I can just call-.”

“I can take you close and you can have your friend meet us if that makes you feel safer. I understand we don’t know each other but I- I feel really bad about this.”

I exhaled, shoulders humping. “Ok, we can do it like that.”

I looked around for my phone for a minute before I watched him move. He walked over to the side of me and grabbed my phone off the rolling stand. He was in my personal space and this time around, I was coherent enough to understand the level of man that I was dealing with. I was so glad that I wasn’t hooked up to anything because I knew everything on the machine would go haywire the moment he stepped in front of me. He was still wearing his workout clothes, giving a whole new meaning to the whole #greysweatpantsmatter movement. Yes, my eyes went to his print and my mouth watered, my body tingled and heated. I really really wanted to lick him. I could even feel my tongue snaking out of my mouth to do just that when he reached his hand out to hand me my phone.

“Here you go.”

I examined it as if it were a foreign object before taking it from his large hand. There was something about big visible veins in the arms and hands of a big, tall man that just screamed big dick to me. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied as he took a few steps back, sliding his hands into the pocket of his sweats.

I eyed him before training my eyes on my phone, strolling to find Resha’s number. She wasn’t my number one choice but she was a stay at home mom and the most reasonable of all my friends. I didn’t have many to choose from so it wasn’t like I had a whole bunch of folk to shuffle through. There was Resha who had been married for five years and suddenly- her life was kids, husband and maybe wine. Then there was Nicki who was a year older and me and literally my complete opposite. You remember me mentioning my morals? Yeah, she didn’t know what the hell those were. I’m going to leave that at that. Lastly, there was Carmen, who still didn’t know what she wanted to do in life. She was my confused friend but I loved her. I loved them all.

I went to Resha’s number, hoping she’d answer. “Hello?”

She sounded like she was still sleeping and I had to remember the fact that is as still early. “Good Morning! Did I wake you?”

“Its six o’clock in the morning.”

I cringed. “Yeah, I know but I’ve been assaulted-.”

“Assaulted?!” Both Resha and Daniel yelled at the same time. I looked over at him as his eyes bucked and his arms fell from their folded position against his chest. I tried giving him a look that told him he could relax but he clearly wasn’t convinced.

“Yeah, it’s just a small thing with my ankle though so, it’s all good. I need you to come get me so; I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

“Zhia, what is going on?”

“It’s really nothing major, Resha.”

“You just told her that you were assaulted,” Daniel uttered as he began to pace in the corner.

I pressed the phone closer to my ear as I eyed him; out of both curiosity and my undying need to have him in my sight.

“Who was that,” Resha asked in a rush.

“You heard him?” I asked with raised brows.

“Yeah, I heard him,” Resha replied in a panic. “Who was that? Where are you?”

“It’s my assaulter.”

“You’re WHAT?” Resha screamed, possibly waking up her entire house.

Yeah, I called the wrong friend. I knew her response was aided by the dramatics that I shamelessly added to the conversation though. “Ok, let me tell the entire story because it’s clear you tripping. You know I’m dramatic as fuck and to never take me seriously. But I was running this morning- wait, I was fast walking. Let me not start this story off with lies. I was fast walking and a man ran into me on accident and my ankle got a little twisted in the process of all of that. So, he insisted on taking me home but I don’t know him like that so I agreed to let him get me close and have you pick me up. I would have called Nicki but she lives further than you. It’ll take you ten minutes to get to me.”

A significantly less panicked Resha replied, “Sometimes, I question why we’re friends!”

I released a dramatic gasp. “Oh my God, you be doing that too? I question our friendship like fifteen times a day.”

I could hear Resha curse under her breath. “Call me when you need me to come get you, Hoe.”

“Thanks, Bestfriend,’ I replied in an excited tone that clearly annoyed Resha since she hung up in my face.

I chuckled as I looked up at Daniel, who was giving me a look that I couldn’t place.

“I can’t read you,” he stated on an exhale. “I’m trying to see if this is something that I need to prepare to get sued over.”

“No,” I insisted, hands out, brows bunched. “I don’t plan to sue you; I was just messing with Resha. She’s a mother so she has this tendency to freak out first and ask questions later. I like messing with her because of that. I have no intentions of suing you. Not at all.”

I could see him visibly relax before those sexy eyes bounced back up to me. “What’s your name?”

Here we go I thought before speaking, “ExZhia, but everyone calls me Zhia.”

He did that lip licking thing again. “Cool, Zhia. I’ll check with the nurses to see if everything is good to go.”

“Perfect,’ I replied as he walked out. I was sure to get a good look at his ass when he did so.

This had to be the awkwardest of the awkward silences in world history. There was awkward then there was whatever the hell this is. I was on the verge of running down the street and around the corner on this bad foot just to get out of this car. The car was nice, nice as hell and the owner was fine, fine as hell but my fight or flight senses were tingling and I was about to go the flight route when he spoke.

“I honestly don’t mind taking you home and I am truly not a stalker.”

I glanced over at him before nodding. “I believe you- I just; Resha must be running a little late. I don’t want to hold you up any more than I’ve already have. You’ve done enough.”

He shifted in his seat to look at me. “Don’t you need to call into work or something?”

“Not really,” I replied with my nose bunched. “I did send my boss a text letting him know that I would need today and tomorrow.” I rattled with the papers in my hand nervously. “What about you?”

“Nah,” he declined. “I’m the boss so I don’t have anyone to report to. I didn’t plan to go in today anyway.”

“Oh,” I exerted. “What do you do?”

He rubbed his full beard. “I used to be a corporate guy but I retired from that last year. I own a museum.”

I definitely wasn’t expecting that from him. “What kind of museum do you own?”

“African American Arts. Just a small-.”

“OMG,” I squealed, cutting him off. “You are not talking about Speaking Roots are you?”

The coy grin that came across his face gave him away. “Yeah. That’s me.”

I raised my hand to my chest, my excitement making me grab a hold of his shoulder. “Do you know how many times I’ve been to your museum? I live there! Then you want to downplay it to just a museum. It’s everything. A café, African American bookstore, a jazz, and poetry spot. It’s literally the only place I need in the entire city of Dallas and you own it?”

“I’m really glad it’s serving its purpose for you.” He stated with a small smile. “Did you know I’m working on a second location for Fort Worth?”

I smiled big at him. I could tell he was still modest about his endeavors, he even seemed to be looking for approval but I didn’t understand why a man of his caliber would need that at all. He was black, fine and successful; definitely not someone that screamed insecurity in a manner of anything but I would indulge. “Oh wow! I didn’t know that!”

He gripped the steering wheel with his large hands before exhaling. “Yeah, it’s in its first stages but I’m getting there.”

I just kept smiling, extremely impressed by the man across from me. “Look at you!”

His eyes stayed on me for a while before he spoke, seemingly having our situation crash into him. “Your husband or boyfriend not gone try to find me and fight me for hurting you, are they?”

I’m sure my face went through a series of things before my lips parted. Nothing came out. I closed my mouth back, swallowing. “No. No husband or boyfriend- it’s just me and my dog Juicy. She may be a little upset with you but she’s too small to do any real damage.”

His laugh caught me off guard. I wasn’t prepared for it to be so warm. Because of his withdrawn demeanor, I didn’t think I would be able to hear it. His laugh settled, then his eyes did the same on me and- heat, rushing and demanding settled in the pit of my stomach.

“You’re a nice woman, Zhia.”

“Oh, it gets complicated. Trust me.”

“I’ve had the misfortune of seeing the worst of the worst so far as complicated goes.”

Sadness crept into his eyes the moment my phone rang in my purse. I sat the prescription paperwork inside of my purse before pulling my phone out.

“Hello?”

“Is this you in this Benz?” Resha asked her voice filled with sleep.

“Yeah,” I replied as I glanced out of the side mirror. “Here I come.” I disconnected the call and slid my phone back into my purse before gathering everything to get out of the car.

“Wait,” Daniel stated suddenly, “I’ll come around and help you.”

“You really don’t have to-.” My sentence stalled as he pushed his door open and walked around the front of his car. Damn! Even his walk is sexy. He grabbed my crutches from the back seat before he pulled my door open and offered me his hand before assisting me with getting out of the car. Once I stood out of it, he didn’t step back- bringing me face to face with him and quickly returning my urge to lick him.

“I’m sorry again.”

“I’m seriously going to pull my hair out if you apologize again.”

I expected him to laugh, at least smile when I said that but I got nothing, until well- I got something.

“You are extremely beautiful and I couldn’t let you leave without at least telling you that.”

Please ask for my number I pleaded in my thoughts. “Thank you, Daniel.”

He swallowed, his eyes moving to my lips. He blinked, then swallowed again before he finally stepped back. Handing me the crutches, he moved back again as I began to make my way to Resha’s car. She hadn’t even made an attempt to get out and help me but she was possibly stuck looking at Daniel. One glimpse into her front window confirmed my suspensions. Her tongue was practically hanging out of her mouth.

I leaned down, knocking on the window before I pointed down at the locks. “Can I get you to open this for me?”

She fumbling with hitting the unlock button as Daniel stood behind me waiting. Once the locks disengaged, he helped me inside of the car.

“Hi!” Resha greeted all the sleep in her throat gone.

“Hello!” Daniel greeted back as he reached across me to help me with my seatbelt. I didn’t see that move coming and I literally almost melted when I felt his hand touch the side of my thigh. Mine and Resha’s eyes connected before hers mushroomed. “I was trying to take care of your friend but this is as far as she would allow me to go.”

“Oh?” Resha spoke with a small, flirtatious laugh.

My eyes snapped to her as she continued to blush.

“Zhia, you know where to find me if you change your mind about suing me.” He spoke to me as he stood up out of the car. “You ladies have an amazing day.”

“Thank you, Daniel,” I replied.

He gave me a long lusty look ending with a flick of his tongue across his thick lips before he closed my door.

Both Resha and I watched as he walked to his car.

“Girl, what the fuck?” Resha questioned as he pulled off.

“Girl! Girl!”

That was the beginning and what I thought to be the ending of my encounters with Daniel but this wasn’t only my story to tell. But, welcome to my diary!

 

 

 

Peace?

…or the denial of such a thing.

Daniel

 

I should have stayed inside. That was my first thought when I woke this morning and I should have listened to the warning that echoed in the recesses of my mind the moment I peeled my eyes open. I wasn’t in the mood for anything and I found darkness comforting. That was where I dwelled for most of the day, into the night and then it was the same shit the next day until- today.

Today, I didn’t listen. I allowed the old me to tweak my interest of going out for a run that turned into a complete disaster. After lying in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling while my thoughts reflected back on the last six to nine months of my life- I decided to give my body a workout that was long overdue. I was still trying to get my feet back under me, still trying to figure out where I was going next. What my next move was.

And…nothing.

I kept coming up with nothing, which equaled to more depressed nights and late mornings. Everything around me was spiraling out of control and there was nothing that I could do about it.

How does a man marry a woman, love her to the point of complete blindness, raise a child that he believed them to have created together only to have her deceive him in the most devastating way? For one, how does a man survive that? For two, how does a man find a way to live beyond it? I hadn’t figured it out yet and I didn’t see myself being able to do so anytime soon. I’d found a moment of peace, if only for a short period when I opened the museum. I needed a change; I needed something fresh- something that needed me in return. Since then, I’d been pouring my blood, sweat and tears into making it as successful as possible. In a years’ time, it had become one of the go to spots for millennial’s and beyond. I counted it as a blessing. I was good at counting blessings and I knew that God had his hand in my life, stirring things up for my better. It was just hard to see through the cloud of bullshit most times.

My phone ringing in the pocket of my sweats pulled me from my thoughts. I released a grunt before digging into my pocket to answer it, already knowing who was on the other end.

“I’ve asked you to stop calling.” I’d even changed my number to aid in my efforts to never speak to her until absolutely needed. I was still unsure on how she got my new number.

I heard her exhale, puffing air from her chest before she spoke. “We need to talk, Daniel.”

“I can’t think of one thing that I have to say to you,” I gritted as I moved through my bedroom, taking off my clothes to prepare for my shower.

“Daniel, are you seriously going to go through with this? After everything we’ve been through?”

I had to laugh to keep from cursing her out. She deserved to be cursed out. She deserved worse than that but I had never disrespected her no matter how much of a vile person she was, I wouldn’t start disrespecting her today. “Serenity.” She was everything but a representation of that name.

“I know that I messed up. I know that I hurt you, Daniel. I want to fix it; I want us to make this work.”

I leaned against the door of my bathroom, watching as stream began to fog the door of the shower. Running a hand down my waves, I tried to allow a moment of clarity. Not for me, but for her. “What we had is broken beyond repair.”

“Daniel,” she cried into the phone in a voice that once would have brought me to my knees. Seeing her upset, seeing her cry was never something that I wanted to experience but the person I am today wouldn’t allow me a moment of sympathy for her and her tears. “Please. I love you and I know that we can fix this.”

“We have a meeting with our lawyers in a few hours. You may want to prepare for that.’

With that, I disconnected the call. I sat my phone down on the counter before removing my sweats and climbing into the shower. I went in head first, allowing the water to wash over me. She wouldn’t sign the paper, which was the hold up. I’d served her papers a few weeks after everything came to the light and here we were a year later and I was finally able to say that my first and last divorce was about to be final.

I was getting the thing that I wanted but I was still losing. I was losing all the time I invested, I was losing my wife and I was losing my daughter.

I ducked my head under the water, trying to camouflage the tears that gathered in my eyes. My father always told me that a man wasn’t supposed to cry and under most circumstances, I could find my way around expressing my emotions in this manner but like I said- I haven’t found a way to deal with it.

Serenity didn’t break my trust- she severed it. She dismantled it in a way that would not make it easy to be reestablished. Not with her. Not with anyone. Nylah James was now officially Nylah Jude and there was nothing I could do about it because even though I was there at her birth; taught her how to ride a bike and properly brush her teeth- she didn’t belong to me. She wasn’t mine. Her mother broke the vows that we shared together and created her with another man. A man that I now knew would take care of her as I did because she belonged to him. Not me.

Since the separation, I had only seen Nylah a total of two times; both of those times were arranged by her biological father and short lived in my opinion. I didn’t know how to act around her; I didn’t know what to say. Nylah was the smartest six year old I knew. She was quick to catch on to things so she knew the moment that her mother and separated. She knew what it meant, she just didn’t understand why things had to change between her and I. I tried breaking it down to her, her father, Raheem, tried breaking it down to her but in her eyes, I was her father and so was Raheem. After a long conversation and a lot of convincing, Raheem got her to understand that he needed to spend some time with her while I go on a small vacation. He needed his time to bond with her and that was something that I could definitely understand. That was last year and now, he was slowly pulling me back into the fold because that was where I wanted to be. I couldn’t give Nylah up, I tried and failed. She’d just have two daddies like she loved to remind us.

I got out of the shower and dressed quickly, laying right back in bed in complete darkness. Like I said, this is how I like things.

The next morning, I was still dragging my feet but I had a slight pep in my step due to the fact that today was step one of starting over. I made it to the building where the first divorce hearing would be held and everything inside of me was torn. I was divorcing a woman that I was still in love with. In my heart and mind, I had it set in stone that I would spend the rest of my life with her. Now, I didn’t know where I would end up so far as love goes. I already know. I sound weak. But- shit I was weak. I am.

I caught my reflection in the glass of the building as I pulled the door open. I took a moment to gather myself, fixing my tie and suit jacket before walking into the building. I was almost immediately approached by Serenity who was standing off to the side, speaking to her lawyer. I had to admit, she looked flawless.

“You’re really doing this,” she whispered the moment she was in front of me, interrupting my route.

I slid my hands into my pockets before stepping around her. “This is long overdue in my opinion.”

“Long overdue,” she hissed at my back, causing me to turn around and take a step back in her direction.

“Yes, long overdue. I don’t want to stay married to you for another minute and the quicker we can get this over with, the better off we’ll both be.”

“Not me,” she cried, her voice thick with unshed tears. “Daniel, I’m so sorry. Please?”

“You don’t get to play the victim in this shit, Serenity.” I hissed, my teeth clenched so tight that it caused pain. “You are not the fucking victim! I am! Raheem! Nylah! Not you!”

“I know that what I did was wrong and I can admit to my mistake. I just want us to fix this. To fix us.”

“We were built on a lie.” I looked her over, annoyance lining my features. “There is nothing for us to fix.”

I walked off, leaving her in the lobby to meet my lawyer in the room he’d advised me to meet him in. As soon as I walked in, he handed me a folder. “What is this,” I snapped, still on edge.

He eyed me, sensing my tension as I flipped the folder open. “Her terms.”

“She don’t get no fucking terms,” I hissed as I slammed the folder down on the desk. “What the fuck does she want?”

“Nothing.” He replied. “She has agreed to walk away with nothing.”

I leaned against the wall of the room, dragging my hands down my face as frustration weighed heavy on my shoulders. I slowly took in air, forcing myself to calm down. “Nothing?” My eyes moved to him as he grabbed the folder that I didn’t even attempt to read off the table.

“She’s leaving you the house and only taking what she came into the marriage with.”

I didn’t even want the house because I knew if I kept it, I would end up selling it. The memories it held still haunted me, even though I hadn’t been there in over a year. “I don’t want the house,” I finally spoke after a moment of processing everything. “She can have the house. All I want is the divorce. I already have the loft so there is no need for the house.”

I already knew a rebuttal was coming. “What do you mean you don’t want the house? You paid for the majority of it.”

I reached up to loosen my tie, suddenly feeling like it a noose. “Yeah, I don’t want it. She needs it for Nylah.”

I could see his jaw clench before he nodded. “Fine. I guess you’re leaving her with the Range you purchased as well?”

He accepted my silence as my answer. “You can’t be serious, Daniel.”

“I am man,” I pressed as my exhaustion began to take  a toll. “Just give it to her.”

The flaring of his nostrils told tales of his annoyance. “Fine. I’ll run these updated details by her and her lawyer. Give me a minute.”

I exhaled as he walked out of the room, taking a seat at one of the chairs that was pushed up to the table. My mind wouldn’t settle, even after a while of just sitting there, having time to gather myself. I couldn’t. I had been praying, I’d been praying about my marriage, giving it to God and asking him what he wanted me to do. I knew that he was against divorce but there was no way for me to repair the damage that had been done without sacrificing my happiness. I wanted- no- I needed to be happy.

I was a single man. It felt weird yet refreshing. I had been in my slump long enough. After two weeks of no work, no daylight or communication with the outside world, I was finally ready to get back to work. I walked into the café area that occupied the building next to the museum as the night crowd began to form. I didn’t have much that I needed to take care of being that I had a reliable staff that made sure everything that needed to be done was handled before I could even get my hands into it. I was only here because I’d been missing in action for two weeks and I felt the need to show my face.

“Waddup, Boss?”

I glanced to my left as an extended hand came my way. I accepted the shake of Rodney, one of my newest employees and the most rugged of the bunch. I didn’t hire him because he was experienced in the artifacts or the ins and out of what we did here, I hired him because he needed a job. He was very persistent in getting one when I met him and now that he had the position, he was doing everything he needed to do to keep it. You didn’t have to know the workings of a job to get the position- y’all president proved that- you just had to be hungry enough to do what was needed to get it. Rodney was hungry. He was also actively asking me everything that I knew about black art, black history and black love- all of the things we celebrated at Speaking Roots.

“Nothing much. You holding it down?” I asked him as I released his hand.

“I’m barely holding myself down,” he replied. “I’ve been reading.”

A slow smile graced my face. “Ah hell!”

He sucked his teeth before waving me over to walk with him. “Ah hell is right! Do you know what they did to her?”

He stopped in front of a sculpture that got a lot of attention for all the wrong reasons. But that was to be expected because that was her roots. That was her test and her testimony. “Sarah Baartman.”

“Yes!” Rodney insisted. “Do you know?”

I nodded. “Of course I know. It’s my job to know.”

He scrubbed his waves before shaking his head. “I never heard about her in History class. I never heard about no damn show that displayed black women as freaks because they had a fat ass.”

My head dropped, I tried to stop my smile from forming but I failed. Rodney was young and sort of a loose cannon, he reminded me of myself when I was right out of high school with fresh eyes and an open mind. I could understand his confusion, as well as the slight level of anger that laced his voice.

“They had her on a fucking chain like she some sort of animal, bruh. That’s bullshit.”

I had to agree. “Yeah! The thing that will really blow your mind is the fact that she started out as a free woman. She wasn’t a slave.”

“What?”

“No!” I answered. “She wasn’t. She was born in the Camdeboo Valley based in the regions of South Africa and moved to England with a man who was also free. She was approached to perform and because of her finances or the lack there of, she agreed to become the main attraction for their show. It wasn’t until she was mistreated and mishandled that she discovered the error in that decision. That sound familiar to you?”

His eyes lowered before they bounced open. “That sounds like what strippers do to this day.”

“Bingo.” I replied before walking off, having him follow me.

“Man,” he stressed. “I ain’t ever going to another strip club again.”

“Again,” I questioned as I entered my office. “You’re only eighteen.” I sat behind my desk while looking up at him, removing the contents of my pockets and placing them on my desk. “What club let you in?”

He squinted before sucking his teeth. “Right! I ain’t never going to no strip club! Ever!”

“Man! Get out of here!” I laughed as he backed out of my office with a slick smile on his face. “Can you tell Tez that I need to see him?”

“You got it, Boss!” he yelled as he slapped the frame of my door and proceeded down the hallway. I stretched my neck, working my fingers to unlock my computer as my phone rang. It was as if the entire room got brighter when I saw the source of the call. “Hey, Butterfly.” I greeted, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

“Hey, Daddy,” Nylah replied, still calling me what she naturally felt was right and I nor Raheem felt the need to correct her. With all the changes that her life was taking, she still remained the same. It was teaching me a lot about how to handle life, even as a grown man. “My daddy told me to ask you for the other one because Mrs. Eryanna ain’t gone be giving him a lot. That’s what she said.”

My brows dipped as I tried to keep up with the conversation. “What’s she not gonna give him?”

“A sister.” Nylah popped as she snacked on something. “I want a brother and a sister and daddy said that Mrs. Eryanna only gone give me a brother so I gotta ask you for the sister.”

“Your dad told you to ask me that,” I questioned on the verge of laughter.

“Yes, sir. He told me to ask you.”

I exhaled. “How soon do you want this sister?”

I could hear her counting and more than likely, she was using her fingers. “Five days.”

She said that so nonchalantly that I burst into laughter. “Five days? Nylah.”

“You need six days, Daddy?”

I exhaled before leaning forward to place my elbows on the desk. “I’ll need more time than that.”

“You can’t get somebody to help you?” She questioned in a high pitched voice that let me know she didn’t understand why I needed so much time. The weird part was when she asked if I could get someone to help me, her mother didn’t pop into my head. The woman that had found a way to creep into my thoughts and dreams did. ExZhia. I often thought of her but I quickly pushed those thoughts away, knowing that I didn’t want to start anything with anyone. In the short amount of time that I was in her presence, I knew that she wasn’t looking for anything short term. She seemed to have her shit together and naturally, she would want a man on that same level.

I was still trying to find out who the hell I was outside of Serenity.

“I’ll figure it out and get back to you on that, Nylah.”

“Ok!” Her tone was so chipper that I hoped Raheem was actively working on her wish as we spoke. “You still coming to get me this weekend?”

I released a slow breath while rubbing my head. “Nylah, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“YAY!” She squealed. “I love you! I’m about to go play in Mrs. Eryanna hair! I’mma call you tomorrow, ok?”

She was so mature. “I’m gonna be waiting, Butterfly.”

She made a kissing sound before fumbling with disconnecting the call. At that exact moment, Tez- my best friend and head of security- knocked on the door. “Yo?”

I stood to dap him up before pulling him into a hug. “What’s up?!”

“Not shit.” He replied as he sat across from me. “You done handling business?”

The business he was referring to was my divorce. He was the first one to tell me to get it done as soon as everything went down. It wasn’t that Tez was anti-love or anti-marriage. He was just ant-bullshit. He knew the way I loved Serenity, the way I catered to her and for her to cheat on me in Tez eyes, it was bullshit.

I nodded. “Finalized.”

“That’s good shit,” He replied as he stretched his legs.

“How is my divorce good shit?”

He made a face that almost made me laugh. “Because your ex-wife was foul as fuck and you deserve better than that. You probably the most well rounded dude I know and the fact that she fucked you over makes me believe that she was born with bullshit coursing through her veins. With her fine ass.”

I gave him a puzzled look. “Really?”

He shrugged. “Her being fine don’t take away from the fact that she ain’t shit.”

I shook my head as I returned to my seat. “Either way,” I replied with a shrug. “I’m officially divorced.”

His large hands slapped my desk. “Good shit. So, me and the bros-.”

“Nah!” I cut him off. “I’m chilling.”

He gave me a big smile as he stood. “You didn’t let me finish.”

“When you said you and the bros that officially took me out of whatever plan you have. I am not fooling with y’all.”

He grunted before tossing his hands in the air. “Come on, Daniel witcho lame ass. You are a single man! We have to celebrate.”

“Celebrate my divorce?”

“You damn skippy,” He insisted. “We need to go out and get you a stripper to dance on you.”

The irony. “It’s gonna be a hard pass for me.”

“You better hard pass yo ass on this flight.”

“Wait…what?”

“It’s already paid for and I know you have Nylah this weekend so I booked it for next weekend.”

My head was starting to pound already. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your divorce party.”

My head dropped as I grabbed the bridge of my nose. “My what?”

“Your divorce party! Everyone has one.”

“This is literally the first time I’ve ever heard those two words in a sentence.”

“That don’t matter.” Tez shot down. “We are going to make it happen. In fact, we already got the room, flight and rental taken care of. All you need to do is bring ya ass.”

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this easily, if at all. “Come on, Tez. I have a business to run so you know I can’t just up and leave. How long is this supposed trip?”

“Negro, you just came back from being gone two weeks.”

“Exactly why I can’t leave again.”

“This place runs itself. Why do you have an assistant manager if you don’t trust him to hold things down in your absence?”

That wasn’t the issue. “I do trust him.”

“Then it’s settled. I know you ain’t gone let me just waste my money like that.”

“I can’t do it.”

Tez shrugged his broad shoulders as if he didn’t give a shit about my dilemma.

“Two weeks.” He confirmed as he backed out of my office. “I’ll come pack your shit for you if you need me to.”

“Tez! You never even said where!”

A wicked smile covered his face as he hit the hallway. “Where else do you go to celebrate a divorce.”

“Nowhere!” I snapped.

“Sin City, Baby!”

 

Final Still Stoned: Breaking Stone Teaser…

…you can’t punch Stone.

Hey Guys! As we bend the curve of the fourth leg of this race, I want to say that I appreciate every single one of you that took the time to read this series and support me on this journey into Paranormal. I enjoy writing in this genre and it looks as if you guys enjoy reading this genre from me so Paranormal & I will be together for a long time.

So…with that said. I have one final teaser of Still Stoned: Breaking Stone for your reading pleasure. Don’t forget. 02.14! The Stoner in you will need to be indulged.

 

 

His entire body ached from having to maneuver his large frame on the couch all night, knowing that Eryanna wouldn’t want him anywhere near her. He was embarrassed, ashamed but he was also partially in agreement with Stone and his actions. What Eryanna’s father said to her was disrespectful and uncalled for in his eyes. He knew of Yatti, knew of the things that he had Eryanna into but he didn’t hold that against her because she was young and finding her way through life, just like she was now. He didn’t have to know her back then to know that she had changed and grew for the better, he could see that by looking into her eyes. Yes, she had been through some things and put her loved ones through some things but who was he to judge her with a past as ugly as his.

“I went through your phone and called Lyles and Heather, letting them know that you were ok. They wanted to speak to you but I told them that you were sleeping. They said that they didn’t trust that so they are on their way here.”

She just looked at him as if he weren’t the same man that had the ability to drive her crazy with a kiss or gentle touch. She looked at him as if she didn’t know who he was and that part hurt Raheem to the core of him. Her gaze didn’t waver, it stayed dead center on him.

“I apologize, Eryanna. I plan to reach out to your parents as well to extend my apologies to them. What I did was reckless and –”

“You know about Yatti?”

He didn’t react. Didn’t flinch at the mentioning of him. Raheem smoothly tucked his hands into his pockets as he looked over at her, his expression blank. “Yes.”

“But you never told me you knew!” Eryanna snapped as she walked up to him. “I even asked you! When you told me that you looked me up, I asked you what came up and you led me to believe that nothing came up when I fucking knew better!”

“Eryanna,” he pleaded, his hand reaching out to touch her but she snatched away from him.

“No, Raheem!”

“I didn’t say anything to you about knowing because your past doesn’t have anything to do with the woman that you are now. The woman that you are to me.”

“The woman that I am to you was molded by the girl that I was to him. This shit-” Eryanna shook her head with an exhale. “Do you not see how fucking unhealthy this is? Raheem, you are crazy, dude! Fucking crazy!”

Raheem dropped his head. “I’m trying, Eryanna.”

“You say that but your actions are always different. Your actions always say something different from what comes out of your mouth!”

Raheem scrubbed his hands over his face with a grunt.

“And what happened to my hand? I hit you and it breaks! Then I wake up and feel nothing but you wrapped it.”

“I wrapped it in case it didn’t take.”

“What didn’t take?”

Raheem again moved his eyes away from hers, not wanting to say what was needed in order to give her clarity or…confuse her more. “You can’t punch people, Eryanna. You especially can’t punch Stone!”

 

Still haven’t gotten Stoned?

What are you waiting for?! Stoned” Your Heart Belongs To Me

 

Sample Sunday! Still Stoned “Mine. Mine. Mine.”

Sample Sunday 🤗🤗 Still Stoned

Unedited/Subject to change

When RAHEEM gets it right….bruh.

Eryanna inhaled before she allowed her eyes to move across to the woman beside her. This felt like some sort of concubine shit. It didn’t seem like something that she should be openly doing. Not in front of others on such an occasion as this. That was more of her insecurities speaking that sure facts.

She was…being dramatic. She knew it. Raheem had given her multiple opportunities to escape this shit show but she was so persistent on wanting to show others that she could do what they were doing. She looked down at her attire, a long purple grape wine colored slinky dress that went well beyond her ankles, touching the surface of the heated sand beneath her feet. She had her hair down, tamed in large curls highlighted with blonde tips that brushed against the back of her shoulders. A single black rose with it’s stem cut, tucked into her hair like a faux pin.

She looked out on the beach, watching as the men of the hour were walked out from behind the make shift stage and escorted to their designated chairs. Eryanna watched Raheem as he was lead out by a very beautiful woman. He wore the same color as her, only his attire was a two piece linen suit that she purchased him when they arrived. She blushed. Excited about the fact that he wore the gift she brought him, she wasn’t even sure if he liked it. So to see him wearing it, on this night of all nights, she was…honored. The color looked good on him. Everything looked good on Raheem June.

The music began and Eryanna was sure that she would die a slow death in this moment.

“Just relax,” she coached in a small voice. “Remember what you were taught. Remember to be sexy. And bitch, whatever you do…don’t start twerking!”

She laughed to herself as she watched the first woman began to walk out, taking slow seductive steps towards her man. She was American as well, on a vacation just like Eryanna and Raheem, but she looked as if she were familiar with the tradition of the island. The colorful dress she wore moved with each step she took, slow…measured caters that matched the high hat of the beat being played.

Then the second woman came from behind the  curtain, leaving just Eryanna to peek out. She too was American, thick and well defined in the structure of her body. Her hair was out, blowing in the wind that seemed to pick up the moment she made her entrance.

Eryanna tried to keep her composure, but everything collapsed around her when her eyes landed on Raheem. He wasn’t watching the other two women, his eyes were centered on the curtain that she stood behind. The intensity in his gaze could be picked up, even at this distance. She could almost hear him calling out to her even though his sexy ass lips hadn’t moved. His beard was freshly lined thanks to the barber that he visited right before they left the states. He sat with his legs gapped open, a slight bow to his large frame in the seat. His hands on his knees, waiting in anticipation.

It was time.

Eryanna picked up the end of her dress as she stepped from behind the curtain, gaining the shifting of Raheem in his seat. He sat at attention.

She stuck her leg out, eyes low as she watched him watch her. She moved to the caters of the drums, allowing them to cement the movements that she learned in her head. She twirled, kicking up small bouts of sand as her hands moved down her breast, resting on her thighs. Her head went back and she twirled again, her hair flying with the  wind before she began to advance, getting closer and closer to a waiting Raheem who was now leaning forward in his seat.

“My shit,” she heard him growl, obviously not liking how revealing the dress that she wore was. “My Stoner.”

The three ladies were finally in position to began the most seductive portion of the dance. If they were in the states, it would be referred to as grinding, but here, where they were, it was called Soukous. Birthed in the roots of Africa, Soukous was composed of sexual vibrations, rotations and ticks that immedialtely put the person viewing the dance in the mind frame of sex. Eryanna didn’t think Raheem needed any help getting into that mind frame though, he took residence there.

Eryanna released her dress as the next beat began, prompting the movement of her hips.

Raheem felt his tongue grow thick in his mouth as he watched Eryanna. “Oh my God,” he groaned as he watched her hips jerk in rhythm with the beat. Her tattoos seemed to glow in neon colors, her hair seemed to possess magic as it flowed with the wind. She had her bottom lip tucked into his mouth, a smile playing at it’s corners. She was a temptress in her element and he was a spider in her web of seduction, with no pressing desire to be freed. She was majestic.

She took a step, getting closer to him, causing air to become trapped in his lungs. He fought to keep his hands in place.  “Mine. Mine. Mine.”

Eryanna leaned forward, her hands inches away from him as she rolled her hips. Raheem couldn’t resist reaching out to her, but she slapped his hand away, causing him to frown.

His eyes moved up to hers, anger dwelling in their depths.

“No touching, Raheem.”

Raheem leaned back in his seat. “Is it not my shit?”

Eryanna smiled, finally touching him. He exhaled, relieved as she climbed into his lap.

“It’s yours, daddy.”

His eyes low, he ran his hands down her thighs before reaching around to grab her ass, the other people on the beach completely forgotten. “Then don’t keep it from me.”

Eryanna began to rotate against him, feeling his manhood rise against her. “I’d never do that.”

Raheem leaned forward to press his face against her chest, inhaling her. “You promise?”

“Yes.”

Raheem leaned back to look at her. “Can you do those moves you were doing on a dick? My dick specifically?”

Eryanna’s eyes widened at his boldness. “Um…”

“Could you?”

Eryanna licked her lips. “We may never know, Raheem.”

“Why is that?”

Eryanna’s eyes lowered. “You never let me ride you. I’m always tied.”

 He moved his hand to cup her womanhood through her panties. “You can teach this old dog new tricks, Stoner.”

A Crowned Exclusive: Stoned! Now Available on Amazon! Full First Chapter!!

Now Available

A Crowned Exclusive:
STONED: Your Heart Belongs to Me
Free W/Kindle Unlimited

https://tinyurl.com/ycmfutgb

“We’ll cave somewhere between pleasure and pain, Stoner. But we won’t have regrets. I can promise you that.”- Stone.

#TheDiversePen
#OutsideBoxes
#InsideOriginality

 

Chapter 1

Fall 2012

 

Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Raheem shook his head. Exhaustion sat on his shoulders as he adjusted his lab glasses on his face. This was so unnecessary he thought as he returned to dissecting the piglet in front of him. His face scrunched up in disgust as he cut the ears off the piglet, holding his breath.

“Raheem?”

He looked up, his eyes taking in his instructor, way too young to be a professor he thought, as she walked over to where he was alone at his table.

This was a disposition for Professor James, never in her five years of being at the University of Texas Southwestern had she ever experienced the emotions that her senior Raheem June established inside of her. She was a strong woman, well, she found herself to be before she began to fantasize about the quiet, straight A student that silently took over her classroom. He didn’t have to speak, didn’t have to move in any manner, his presence… and his presence alone, made her very much so aware of him.

He pushed his black rimmed glasses up his face before he licked his thick pink lips, unknowingly causing heat to pool between her legs. His mocha colored skin on his face stretched as his honey colored eyes found her. He looked surprised by her presence as if she hadn’t been in the room when he and the other students entered, as if she was somehow impeding his time. He had this, mysterious, nerdy thing that he did that drove her crazy. A few times, she considered requesting a release in order to get away from him, but she knew that being away wouldn’t relinquish her need for him. She just… needed him.

“Yes, Professor James?”

She wanted to say yes to him, over and over and over…

“Did you- um- need something?”

His question interrupted her thoughts before they could become too impure. Professor James moistened her own lips before she leaned against the table beside him. “Are you ok? Your face was doing this thing.”

Raheem frowned. “What thing?”

Professor James sent a finger around his face, her hand a foot away from him. “This face. I’ve saw it a total of three times within the hour.”

Raheem shrugged. “I’m fine.”

Professor James tilted her head to the side to get a better view of his handsomeness. “Are you sure?”

Raheem tucked his bottom lip, subconsciously putting his dimples on display before he allowed his frown to take residence on his face. “I don’t understand what dissecting a pig has to do with this class.”

“You mean Anatomy?”

Raheem placed the scalpel down before he turned to her. “Yes, Anatomy. This is class is supposed to be about the anatomy of a human being, not a pig.”

Professor June stood straight. “The other students don’t seem to be having a problem with it, Mr. June.” God! Even his name is sexy. “I can um- give you a pass on the assignment if that’s what you need.”

Raheem shook his head with a grin. “The assignment is done.” He reached down to remove his glove before he looked back at her. “I had that done in the first half hour of class; I’ve just been…back here bored.”

Professor James nodded with a small smile as she looked around the classroom. “Well, we used a pig because; we can’t really practice on humans. I understand my class is slow paced.”

Raheem shook his head, dismissing her claim before he spoke, “Nothing about this class is slow. It’s one of the more entertaining ones that I have. Oh, after this I have Athletics, I just loveeee Athletics,” he spoke with sarcasm, causing Professor James to smile at him.

“Is that your last class of the day?”

“Of the week,” Raheem corrected. “Thank God for that. I don’t think I could handle anything else this week.”

“Have you found a residency?”

Raheem nodded before he stepped back from the table, grabbing his bag off the floor. “I have a few that I’m looking into; I don’t have anything exactly set yet. Hopefully soon.”

Professor James stood straight, running her palms down the front of her skirt. “How come you haven’t emailed me about a letter of recommendation?”

Raheem smiled. “I know that you are a busy woman, didn’t want to create extra for you, but if you have the time to draw one up for me, that would be more than appreciated.”

Professor James nodded her head. “If you want to come back after your last class, I can give it to you then. I have some things that I need to finish up, so I’ll be here.”

Raheem pinned her with a stare, causing her to fidget slightly under his gaze. “You’ll have it ready for me in that short amount of time?”

“Yes,” she replied, her voice low, her eyes glancing around at her other students. “I know you need it as soon as possible so, I can have it for you today. Just come back and I’ll have it.”

Raheem took a step to move from behind the table that he was standing at, bringing himself closer to her. “Should I shoot you a text before I come? I would rather not just show up here. You may be busy with another student; something else may have come up.”

Professor James was shaking her head before he completed his statement. “Nothing will come up. Please feel free to call, but I can assure you, nothing will come up.”

“Fine. Then I’ll come back after my last class.” Raheem nodded his head before he walked by his Professor to leave the classroom, heading to his next class.

Raheem didn’t think popping up on a teacher was appropriate, even if she borderline insist that he do just that, so he sent her a text, asking if it were ok for him to come. His reply came back in the form of a text that stated, I told you it was ok to just come, Mr. June. So, he took that as his sign to proceed in his route across campus. It was the middle of the day and still the first month of his last year of school, students weren’t exactly taking class seriously at this point. The party season was still very much so in full effect at BCM, so Raheem wasn’t surprised that off campus looked like one huge extravaganza. Meanwhile, his overly attractive Anatomy teacher was making him dissect piglets. She was “Professor Serenity James,” Raheem groaned as he pulled open the door to the main medical building, walking towards the back. Room 206. He knocked on the room door before peeking his head in. Professor James sat behind her desk, her face buried in her phone as she replied to messages that were sent with an urgent tag to them, but she knew nothing that was coming from the person texting her was urgent or important. Surely, not as important as him.

“See, I texted,” Raheem stated as he stepped into the classroom. “… I texted and you still look busy.”

Professor James stood from her desk with a smile; she powered her phone completely off and placed it in her top draw before she stepped around the desk. “Looks are deceiving because I’m not busy at all.” She grabbed the very detailed letter off her desk and handed it to him.

Raheem eyed her for a moment before he took the letter. He went to read it, but decided against it, letting the letter settle by his side. He tilted his head slightly to look at Professor James. “I know it’s rude to ask a lady certain questions, this one being a major no-no, but I have to because it’s driving me crazy.”

Professor James released a chuckle before she crossed her arms over her chest. “Whatever it is, I promise not to get upset.”

“You promise?”

Shifting in her stance, she crossed her fingers in the manner of a swear and nodded.

“How old are you?”

“I’m forty,” Professor James provided softly. “I’m an old lady.”

“That’s not old,” Raheem declined. “That isn’t old and you sure in the hell don’t look old.”

Professor James blushed as Raheem lifted the letter to his face to read it. She heard him chuckle a few times before he removed the letter from blocking her vision of his handsome face. “You kind of exaggerated, huh?”

She tucked her lip in a girl like manner before shaking her head, denying his claim. “Nothing on that paper is embellished. You have the highest GPA in my classroom, no tardiness or absences at all. You are attentive to detail, always having manners, always here, present and ready. I did not stretch anything. Everything there is the truth.”

“Let’s see,” Raheem began to read the letter. “Timely, efficient, passionate about his studies…”

“Again,” Professor James stated, expressing herself with her hands. “Not one lie on there.”

Raheem eyed her before he took a step closer to her. “How would you know how passionate I am about my work?”

Professor James clenched her lips together before she exhaled. “It’s reflected in your work, Mr. June. Your attention to detail, your need for understanding, the fact that you knew we had no reason to dissect a piglet outside of my need to be a little bit extra when it comes to this course.”

Raheem smiled down at her, adjusting his bag on his shoulders. “Well, this letter is appreciated. I know your name carries a little weight in this field.” His eyes narrowed. “Why did you do it? Better yet, why were you so willing to do it?”

Shrugging, Professor James moved to stand behind her desk. “I see potential in you, and I wanted that to be expressed in the letter. Don’t think too much into it.”

Raheem smirked. “That’s hard to do. I find your words about me very impressive and alluring in a sense.”

Professor James looked up at him, her defense against him crumbling every second. She planned to speak to him about his future and the fact she had a place in mind for him for his externship.

“You are extremely beautiful to me,” Raheem spoke in a low voice as he allowed his eyes to take her in, forging the image of her into his mind while he openly gawked at her. He began to imagine what she would look like with no clothes on, that image made him step into her personal space, behind her desk. “You are breathtaking, have you been made aware of that?”

Raheem didn’t have much experience when it came to the opposite sex, but he wanted his professor in a way that maybe he shouldn’t. He wasn’t usually this forward, but he knew she was dealing with the same exact thing that he was dealing with. Lust. On a level that he was not accustomed to, but he didn’t want to allow this moment that he had with her to escape. Feeling audacious, he began to remove his bag, allowing it to hit the floor. “Serenity…”

Professor James felt the air of her next breath get trapped in her throat before her eyes connected with Raheem’s. He spoke her first name with so much familiarity that it caused goosebumps to form on her skin, the fine hairs covering her body stood at attention for him. This was bad; nothing good could come from it. Nothing.

In a strained voice, one she knew was struggling to reject the man in front of him, she spoke, “Pro-Professor James actually works just fine, Mr. June. If there wasn’t anything else you needed then we could-”

“Come on,” Raheem stated with a boyish smile. “You gonna stand here and act like you don’t want me as much as I want you?”

“Want me,” Serenity expressed with wide eyes. “I’m literally- I’m old enough to be your mother, not only that… I’m your professor, Mr. June.”

“A Professor that I find attractive as fuck and I know the feeling is mutual.” Raheem moved back to walk across the room, back to the door, he slid the locks into place before he turned to face her. “Just…take your clothes off.”

Serenity shook her head with tenacity. “We can’t do this! Raheem, please just leave.”

Raheem walked over to her, straight into her personal space, his hands at her waist. He licked his lips before he grabbed her tighter, causing her to gasp. “When was the last time someone made you come, Serenity?”

Serenity pushed him back, her hand at the center of his chest as she moved backward until she couldn’t move anymore, stalled by the dry erase board. “Raheem…”

“Tell me,” Raheem growled, his animalistic nature rising up inside of him as his hand moved up her blouse.

Professor James grabbed at his hand, her focus lost as he bent down to kiss her neck, his tongue pressing against the lobe of her ear as his hand continued in its route to her breast. When his finger tips came in contact with the lace fabric, he quickly pulled it down, pushing it to the side so his palm could come into contact with her.

Serenity closed her eyes, fighting with all she had to get Raheem off of her, but if she was being honest with herself, she knew she didn’t want him to move. She wanted his hands all over her, his mouth. She wanted his dick inside of her, deep. Touching places that it should not, but she wanted it… so fucking bad. Her body was winning the fight it was having with her mind.

Raheem didn’t want to give her time to think too hard, so he grabbed her, picking her up before he turned and placed her on the desk. His lip took hers in a kiss that Serenity felt down to her core, so much so that she released a cry into his mouth as he reached between her legs to rip her panties off. Raheem stuffed them into the back pocket of his jeans before he used those same fingers to unbuckle his belt.

Serenity reached for his hands to still him, but slipped when she felt suction on her neck. She felt her pussy become wetter as his tongue moved all over the sensitive area below her chin, kissing and sucking before biting. She was so wet; she knew he would discover that soon and use it to his advantage. It didn’t take him long.

“Got damn it, Serenity,” Raheem groaned as he moved his fingers from her thigh to her womanhood, using her wetness to coat his finger before he took two of them and entered her.

Serenity released a gasp that slid into a cry as he worked his fingers into her, his hands in her and on her, her mind racing, scared and worried, but he wouldn’t allow her to get lost in her thoughts, his touch was too present.

As his fingers played in her, his thumb massaged her clit. It had been so long since Serenity had been handled in this manner, her body was so in tune with him. She was coming before her mind could process what was happening.

She clenched her teeth, holding on tight to the front of his shirt before her head fell back.

“Ughhhhhhh fuckkk,” she cried as the sounds of her wetness bouncing off the walls, filled her classroom. She used one hand to grip the desk but the dampness of her palm caused it to slip. Raheem moved with her, grabbing her thighs as they shook around him. Her skin was flushed red; his name was still ringing in his ears from when she screamed it. He pushed his pants down as she continued to whimper. He felt around her entrance a moment before he grabbed his dick, without regard to anything, he pushed into her.

Her mouth fell open, he name being produced from her in a shocked, broken whimper. “Ra- heem!”

Raheem stilled, closing his eyes slowly at the feel of her. Nothing…not shit felt better than Serenity. “Serenity,” Raheem half groaned half whimpered as he moved back to look down between them. He moved forward, pushing into her again as she grabbed him, wrapping a secure arm around his neck to hold him. Her thighs shook when he went deep, he could hear her trying and failing to catch her breath. “You want me to stop?”

Why would he ask her that when they’d crossed the line already? She was already torn between what she knew was right and what felt so fucking good to her.

“You don’t want me to stop, Serenity. I wouldn’t stop! Pussy too fucking good to me.”

Raheem grabbed her thighs and lifted her off the desk as he increased his tempo inside of her. Serenity tried to form words with her mouth but everything failed her. All she could do was feel him, thick, deep and throbbing inside of her. She didn’t need to see his dick to know that it was big, veins running down it, thick and long. She felt everything every time he pushed into her.

She felt her womanhood hug and release him with every stroke. It wasn’t voluntary; it was a natural reaction to how deep he was inside of her. She clung to him, her breathing labored as her body worked to accept his deepness, his roughness, his…everything.

Raheem gripped her tighter, growling as he arched his back to dig deeper into her. Serenity whimpered as she released him, trying to get away and get closer at the same time. She lay back on her desk, knocking off documents as Raheem continued his assault on her body. Her eyes closed, her back arched, her body hummed at his fingertips before she began shaking again.

“Come for me, Serenity.”

She did.

Her body yielded to him.

Her mind shut down.

Her legs quaked.

Her eyes popped open, looking up at the ceiling.

She closed her mouth, trying and failing to halt her scream.

It forged through.

“RAHEEM!”

Raheem looked down at her pretty ass face as she came, her hands trying to push him out of her but he wouldn’t…couldn’t stop.

He got a view of his dick, covered in her cream as it entered her, pulling at her core, trying to snatch another orgasm.

“Raheem, I can’t!”

“Give it to me!”

“Please…it’s too-”

White noise. Deafening.

Her core caved as he pressed his thumb to her clit. Her entire body went limp, her dry mouth hanging open as he dipped, pressing into her core at an angle that made her legs go limp. She had nothing to fight him with. Nothing.

“Like that,” Raheem coached. “Give me one more.”

Serenity tried to grab at him but she was weak, her entire body no longer under her operation. She wanted to scream when she felt her orgasm creep up her spin but she didn’t have the strength. She just groaned, the veins in her neck popping out as her head went back on the desk, her hair providing a pillow for the attack. Her senses seemed to mush together. She could feel him everywhere, like he was larger than the room when in reality, he was just inside of her.

“Please Serenity…one more.”

He was trying to kill her.

His desire to see her come undone for him overshadowed everything else including logical thought. He just wanted to see her come, it was an event. One of monumental influence and his desire to be in the audience grew when he saw her eyes squeeze shut, her neck stretch back and a scream rock her vocal cords.

Raheem determined then that seeing her come would be something he chased after with everything in him. Regardless of caution, despite the fact that being with her was risky. He needed to see her…like this. Often.

 

 

 

 

 

**Sneak Peek** If Ever I’m Not Enough… Coming 10/03/2017

 

 

“What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck you mean what am I doing here? I need to know why you avoiding me and shit.”

Tucking her bottom lips into her mouth, she gnawed on it for a moment before releasing it. “I told you that I didn’t want to do this with you anymore. I thought we were clear.”

Gyntry placed his hands on his chest. “Aint shit clear to me but the fact that you been avoiding me. I told you what it was when you was talking that bullshit. Nothing changed.”

“Something did change”, Aelayah snapped, unaware of how much power and emotion were in her voice. “I fucking changed and I don’t like it. I don’t want it. I’m moving on!”

“To who”, Gyntry pressed. “That mothafucka”, he pointed. “Him? Huh? Aelayah?!”

Hyden stood from his seat, waiting to be addressed so that he could insert himself into the conversation. “Everything ok, Aelayah?”

Aelayah pressed her hands into her temple, not in the mood for the extra bullshit she knew she was about to endure. “It’s fine, Hyden. Just give me a minute. In fact, can we reschedule this meeting for later in the week? I’ll call you when-”

“You can call that nigga but not me?” Gyntry stepped back and shook his head with a smirk. “Ain’t that some bullshit?”

“Why don’t you have him come back, Aelayah? We have more pressing manners to attend to.”

“Don’t speak bout me”, Gyntry threw out at Hyden. “Don’t even use him in a sentence around me.”

Hyden didn’t like Gyntry’s tone and didn’t hesitate in expressing that. “You come in here practically yelling about irrelevant bullshit while we are trying to conduct business.” Hyden took a step closer to them. “You can leave and come back later for that shit.”

Gyntry made a move to go around Aelayah, until her voice halted him. “Gyntry, please. We can talk, i’ll – we’ll talk in my office. Just come on, come back and we’ll talk.”

She grabbed his arm and pulled him to her, but he snatched away from her. “How bout you take yo ass up out of here before I beat the shit out of you just for being around her witcho square ass. Don’t fucking speak to me!”

Aelayah’s heart felt tight. “Gyntry-”

“Fuck you”, Hyden spat right before Gyntry’s fist connected with his jaw, sending him flying into the table he was just sitting at. Gyntry didn’t give him time to recover before he was on his, sending a two piece against his face that caused blood to leak from his mouth.

“Gyntry”, Aelayah screamed as she grabbed on his shirt. “Stop!”

Hyden tried to cover his face but the blows were coming to hard and too fast. His head bounced against the ground as Gyntry hovered over him, transitioning between throwing punches and stomping him. The taste of blood was so heavy in his mouth that he thought he would gag on it. He felt his head became light as another punch sent his head back into the concrete of the floor.

“Gyntry!!!” Aelayah shouted again before she jumped on his back and wrapped her arms around his neck tight. “Stop!”

Gyntry had no choice but to let up once he realized he couldn’t breath. He didn’t want to hurt Aelayah but she was cutting off his air. “Let go!”

“You have to stop”, she shouted in his ear. “You’re going to kill him!”

“I told that mothafucka to stop talking to me”, he snapped as her grip around his neck loosened. “Get off me, ma.”

“No Gyntry! Go to my apartment! Now!”

“I ain’t doing shit! Get the fuck-”

“Would you fucking listen for once? Listen to me for once and just go upstairs!”

Aelayah jumped down from his back. Gyntry turned around, his chest moving up and down rapidly while he watched her. “Go upstairs!”

“I don’t give a fuck, Aelayah. You know that shit”, he spat.

Aelayah pushed him in his chest and of course he didn’t move. “I know that all too well!!” she screamed, her voice raw with emotions. “I know you don’t give a fuck about me. About my business! I know that I don’t fucking matter to you so what the fuck are you doing here? Why would you do that to him?”

Gyntry stood before her still huffing and pissed off, getting more pissed by the second. “I told him to fucking stop talking to me! Simple shit but he didn’t listen!”

“So you do this to me?” Aelayah wiped a tear from her cheek. “You come here and do this shit, destroying my bakery because you felt disrespected?”

Gyntry squinted his eyes. He hadn’t considered her at all when he made his decision to beat the fuck out of ol dude. He wasn’t prepared for the pain that was showcased all over her body or the hurt and tears in her eyes.

Aelayah exhaled, trying to calm herself down. “Is this how you like to see me? Fucking broken and weak? This what makes you happy right?”

“That’s bullshit, ma. You know thats bullshit!”

“Is it really?”

Hyden groaned on the ground and rolled over on his side as Journée bent down to stand the table back upright. In this moment, she regretted the moment she got involved with Gyntry. All he brought her was pain and heartache.

“I still need to know why you been trippin and shit”, Gyntry asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

Aelayah looked at him like he’s lost his mind. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Dead ass!”

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!” Aelayah yelled as she got in his face, a cry brought through her voice as tears rolled down her face. “I fucking hate you, man. I hate what you do to me! I hate what I am to you! I dont- I dont want to fucking be your toy, Gyntry. Don’t you get that! Move the fuck on! It’s a million girls- ah million!” She was crying so hard that she couldn’t see through her tears. “Just go! Leave me alone and never come back!”

“I wish it was that simple! I really wished it was that fucking simple!”

“Why isnt it”, Aelayah shouted. “You dont want me! You told me that much, remember?!”

Gyntry stood there silent, thinking. Thinking. Something that he didn’t do often. His mind worked overtime, being that his heart had not been felt but he never really had to think much. It was his way. He just did things his way and nothing else mattered to him. Nothing. “I came here to talk to you. I didn’t come here for this shit.”

“So go!” Aelayah continued to clean up the mess that was made as Hyden groaned on the ground. She didn’t care about him. She didn’t care about shit but the things that were going good in her life. All she wanted was peace and she couldn’t seem to find that as of late.

Gyntry shook his head before he began to walk off, he stopped when he got to the door. “I’ll pay for everything that was broken, just send me the bill and shit. I won’t fuck with you no more.”

 

❤️❤️Synopsis Reveal!❤️❤️ If Ever I’m Not Enough… Coming 10/03

❤️❤️Synopsis Reveal!❤️❤️
 
Coming 10/3
 
Dejunza: (Day-gun- Zuh) The Planet of Melanin and Royalty.
 
Dejunza is a place of complete power. A planet filled with melanin and greatness driven to the core of it’s roots. There is peace, love, joy, and support in Dejunza. But there is also pain, contest, and a source of forsaking. Every other year in Dejunza, two offspring’s of the royal kingdom are sent to Earth in order to live a complete life. This is used as a form of regulation and population control.
Pairs are sent to find their idea of happiness and absolute joy. To some, that will be finding a person to love until old age, for others that will just be a child to cater to until death. Then there will be others that rebel against the plight and go to Earth with the intent of causing harm. Once selected by The Bell, their Dejunza name is then converted into an Earthly one, they are provided an identity based off of their age and the development of their being at the time.
 
Thunderstorms create pathways to a new realm. In book one of the Dejunza Series, you meet Abioye and Akemp, also known as Gyntry and Gypsey, the Princes of Dejunza. The Princes of Royalty.
Gypsey and Gyntry never thought they would be selected by the Bell, though they became eligible at the age of 100. They are the princes of Dejunza and hold royal status, so surely The Bell would not choose them. But it does. The Twins of Dejunza are thrust into a lifestyle and time that is lightyears ahead of them. They have no idea how Earth works or what is required of them. They form their being by interacting with the people of Earth, developing their language, demeanor, personalities, and ideas. Gyntry adapts an urban dialect, fastly learning to enjoy the fruits that Earth has to offer, whereas Gypsey fights to gather an identity. He is trapped in darkness due to the unhappiness of his soul mate, a woman that he never met. Both men face challenges that they are not prepared for. They battle with keeping their true identity hidden from the people they form relationships with while fighting the natural pull of love and lust.

The Royals of Dejunza #Extended Sneak Peek #UnofficialTitle

HEYYYYY!!! Long Time No Post LOL!

I came back with goodies! Here is an extended sneak peek of the book I am currently working on. So different for me and I am having such an amazing time writing this book! Paranormal Romance and I will be together for a long time! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

WELCOME TO AELAYAH’s Sweet Spot! This scene is when Aelayah and Gyntry make their first encounter, at the Grand Opening of her bakery!

 

**Unedited/Subject to Change Copyright 2017 @DeshonDreamz

 

His need had his feet moving.

He reached the display, allowing his eyes to take in the assortment of cakes in front of him. Licking his lips, Gyntry reached and grabbed a cupcake off the display and looked at it for a moment before he pushed it into his mouth, not bothering to remove the wrapper as he allowed the smoothness of the icing to coat his taste buds.

“Ummmmm”, he heard come from behind him. He turned around with icing all over his face and in his beard, eyes wide with content and excitement. He continued to eat the cupcake while looking at the beautiful woman in front of him. She was distracting him from his task of eating as many cupcakes as he could. She was a welcomed distraction though.

“The opening is over”, Aelayah stated as she watched the man grab another cupcake off the display that she was shutting down. She didn’t mind him eating the cupcakes since she was planning to dispose of them but after dealing with Hyden, she didn’t have more room for bullshit. She wasn’t scared, for some reason she didn’t feel that the man would hurt her in any way, he just seemed to really like the cupcakes.

Aelayah’s thoughts slammed into her mind all at once. She placed a hand on her chest as she watched the man grab yet another cupcake, leaving just the wrappers on the counter. “Are you hungry? Homeless?”

Gyntry continued to grab cupcakes and stuff his face. Aelayah became annoyed when he ignored her but she remained patient. “Do you need real food? I could get you real food.”

Gyntry shrugged his shoulders as he finished the last cupcake his body could take. He grabbed a napkin from the side of the display and began to clean his face. Aelayah stood there with wide eyes, watching him clean his face as if what he’s done was in the norm for him.

“I appreciate it”, Gyntry mumbled as he grabbed the wrappers off the counter and placed them in the trash with the napkins he used to half clean his face.

He turned to walk out of the bakery.

“Whoa whoa whoa”. Aelayah exclaimed as she got in front of him to stop him. “You can’t just come in here, eat my cupcakes without paying for shit and just walk out! That’s rude as fuck!”

Gyntry looked down at Aelayah with a smirk on his face. “Rude?”

“Yes, rude! I worked hard as hell on those cupcakes and you just come in here and scarf down five and leave? Where they do that at?”

Gyntry licked his lips again. “You made those?”

Aelayah frowned. “Mothafucka”, she mumbled as she turned in a slow circle. ‘Aelayah’s Sweet Spot’… it’s my bakery! My opening and you telling me you dragged yo ass in here eating my cupcakes and you don’t even know who I am?”

Gyntry shrugged his shoulders before he began to walk around her.

Aelayah grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Stop trying to leave! If you didn’t come in here with the intention of buying anything then what you just did is called stealing!”

Gyntry knew what stealing meant, it was something he was told to never do. “I didn’t take shit!”

Aelayah’s eyes ballooned. “What the fuck would you call what you just did? You didn’t ask! I don’t have shit green with a old ass man on it in my hand! You came in here and ate my products without paying!”

“You had them accessible to me so; I took what the fuck I wanted.”

“It’s called a display! You still have to pay for it asshole!”

Gyntry smiled. “You ain’t have no sign on that shit that said I had to pay. I would have read it because I can read!”

Aelayah wanted to punch this annoying, disrespectful…admittedly handsome as fuck man in his face. “You want a cookie for knowing how to read or some shit?” Her face was scrunched up in annoyance. “I can mothafuckin give you one, my dude!”

Gyntry walked closer to Aelayah, forcing her to take a step back until he had her pinned against the glass of the cookie display. He looked down at her, lowered dark eyes pulling her in as his face went from being slightly annoyed to visibly aroused. Aelayah was now scared.

“Look”, she whispered. “Just leave, I won’t call the police or anything. Just leave and don’t come back.”

Gyntry’s brows drew together as he reached out to touch her face, tucking his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyes grew darker as they moved over her lips. Aelayah was reaching to grab the roll pan that she had sitting on the side of them as he continued to move closer to her lips. Before they could connect, she moved swiftly, grabbing the roller and smashing it against Gyntry’s head. He moved back, grabbing his head and releasing a grunt. “What the fuck”, he groaned.

“Yeah, mothafucka”, Aelayah shouted as she jumped up and down, her small frame moving into defense mode. “I got something for that ass! You wanna come in here, eat my cupcakes and try to press up on me? I got yo ass!”

“You gotta chill!”

“I ain’t doing shit until you leave!”

Gyntry wasn’t really hurt, but he knew he had to reach to what seemed to be an attack on him. “You can’t hit people with shit!”

“The hell I can’t!”

“You hit me again and it’s gone be an issue.”

“There is already an issue! I want my got damn money for my cupcakes!”

Gyntry dropped his hand from his head. “Really? You hit me with that shit because you want money for your cupcakes?”

“You damn right! I was good in here, cleaning and prepping everything to be put away but you come in here clearly with the shits!”

“I just wanted whatever the hell smelled so good. I found this flyer on the light post down the street and followed the scent to this place. I can give you money for…”

“Wait”, Aelayah stated, a silly blush covering her face. “My deserts brought you here after all?”

Gyntry’s frown grew. “Fuck is you…”

“Okkkk”, Aelayah stated as she did a little dance. “My aroma been making moves down the block. I see you, girl!” This was her small celebration for herself.

Gyntry wanted to continue to be pissed but she was so damn cute to him. Since being on Earth, all he did was have sex. Sex he discovered that he enjoyed tremendously. “I wanna fuck you.”

Aelayah’s movements stopped as her eyes, filled with renewed annoyance, fell on his face. “What?”

“Sex. I’d like to have it with you.”

“Dude is you dumb? Get the hell out of my bakery and never come back!”

Gyntry frowned as he continued to rub his head. “What? Why?”

“What do you mean why? You on a losing streak right now and its best that you stop while I still have the mind to allow you to leave out of here! Now go!”

“What about my need to have sex with you?”

Aelayah felt her blood pressure rising. “My dude! You don’t even got four minutes like Avant had to get the fuck out of my bakery! Your need doesn’t have anything to do with me! Furthermore, it’s nothing alluring about blurting something like that out. But I wouldn’t expect more from your rude ass! Now, you got less than sixty seconds to get out of my place of business or I will have to call the police on yo weird ass. Get out!”

Gyntry stood stonic in his confused state. He didn’t understand why she was so upset with him, oblivious to the reaction that he was getting based off of his words and demeanor. He didn’t intend to be rude or anything of that sort, he just wanted to eat her cupcakes and have sex with her. Her. Just her.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a one hundred dollar bill. He sat it on the table in between them before he took a step back. He was quiet for a moment, looking her over, taking her in.

Attraction. That’s all it was, right Gyntry thought to himself. She was enticing just like every other earth woman. That’s all it was about, this weird tugging in the pit of his stomach that she cause. It was because of his need to mate with her. That was it.

“I want.” Gyntry stopped speaking to better arrange the words that were in his head. “ I would like to come back, if not for sex then at least for more of those”, he stated as he pointed at the cupcake display.

Aelayah was wondering if she was stuck in the Twilight Zone. “If and when you come back, I will call the police on you!”

Gyntry hated the sound of that so, without further delay he turned and walked out of the bakery.

 

**Extended Scene From Crowned 3** Stone X Eryanna (Viewer Discretion Advised)

This is an extended version of what happened after Raheem received the resignation letter from Eryanna. Right after he advised her that he wanted her “down.”

 

Down.

Down was more than a direction. It was a position. The one Stone required that Eryanna be in. On her knees, her hands behind her back, her hair wild and free. Head down.

“Eryanna.” Stone walked behind her, feeling his presence, goose bumps formed all over her skin as he bent to pull her hands to the front of her so that he could bound her wrist with the silk scarf he found on her bed. “You turned in a request that I warned you not to turn in.”

Eryanna knew better than to reply. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement that rang loud and clear in her eyes. In the eyes on Stone, it was a betrayal in a sense. She didn’t mean for it to come off as such, she just knew it was time for them to part ways. She didn’t think this would be how her night ended. Back in his presence and under his control. She was down to just her panty and bra set, her nerves danced around in the pit of her stomach as her palms began to sweat.

“You literally did the exact opposite of what I asked you to do.

Eryanna kept her eyes down, most of her face covered by her hair.

He pulled the tie tighter, causing her to gasp and look up at him.

“Stand.”

Eryanna slowly did as she was told as he gripped the tie and walked her toward her bed. He stood her with her back to the bed as he stood in front of her. His eyes connected with hers, he knew she wanted to speak. He reached out and pushed her hair out of her face before he reached to undo her bra. “Speak.”

Eryanna swallowed. “I didn’t…it wasn’t anything against you.”

Stone frowned as he stopped moving. “It was a direct move against me and my office.”

“But my intent…”

Eryanna stopped speaking when he reached out to grasp her panties in his hand. She swallowed. “I didn’t mean for you to be offended.”

In one swift move, her panties were ripped from her body, causing her to yelp before Stone grabbed her hands and put them above her head. “Grab the rail.”

Eryanna looked up, seeing that the railing of her reach. She looked back at him with pleading eyes. “Perm…permission to speak.”

“Granted.”

His voice always made her nervous. Deep. Controlled. Levelled. Too got damn sexy.

“It wasn’t like you’re taking it…”

Stone gave her statement no regard. “Grab the rail.”

Eryanna went to speak again until she was lifted into the air. She grabbed the rail with both hands before she looked down at Stone. “Please Stone.”

He gripped her thighs in his hands and lifted them so that they sat on her shoulder and her pussy was in his face. He stepped forward, inhaling the scent of her before his tongue snaked out of his mouth to sample her.

Eryanna was already having a hard time keeping her hands on the rail.

Stone gripped her ass and pushed her pussy into his face as he devoured her, smacking her ass when her legs began to shake prematurely. He removed his tongue from her. “Why are you shaking?”

Eryanna released a breath and braced herself. “I wasn’t going to cum without permission.”

“Then why?”

“It feels good. I…I don’t know.”

Stone frowned as he moved back from her. He allowed her legs down so that she could stand on the bed. “Don’t move.”

Eryanna stood there, trying to get her heart to calm down, trying to keep her eyes on him but when Stone told her not to move, she knew better than to do so.

Stone went into her closet and grabbed a belt. Testing it against his hand before he returned to Eryanna. “I bet not feel your thighs shake against my face, Eryanna.”

Eryanna glanced at the belt, then back at Stone, nodding her understanding. “Hold the rail, legs up.”

Eryanna grabbed the railing tighter and pulled her legs up as Stone guided them to rest on his broad shoulders before he returned to feasting on her. His tongue drove into her before he moved it back out to pay special attention to her clit before he repeated the action. Eryanna’s head fell back as she moaned, fighting against the urge to grind her pussy into Stone’s face.

“Permis-”

“Denied.”

Eryanna gripped the railing tighter as her thighs began to shake. She knew it was coming but she still wasn’t prepared for it. The sting of the belt against her thigh made her yelp as she pulled up in the railing. “Stoneeeeeeeeeee!”

She couldn’t control her legs. Not with his tongue on her.

Whop!

“Uggghhhhh fuckkkkk!”

Whop!

“Please sir!”

Her arms weren’t tired at all because all of her weight was on him. “Permission! Permission please!”

“Denied.”

“I can’t, Stone! Please! Please let me cum! I need! I need permission.”

He removed his tongue from her, allowing her to feel a moment of relief before he placed two fingers inside of her. Eryanna’s eyes went wide as she took in a deep breath. As soon as she felt like she couldn’t take any more, Stone began to do a come here motion with his fingers planted deep inside of her.

Whop!

The sting of his belt only made her need for release just that greater.

Her head fell back.

Her stomach caved.

Her back bent.

Her world… rocked.

“PERMISSION!” Eryanna screamed with her eyes closed tight.

Stone let a beat pass before he spoke. “Granted.”

Eryanna came hard. Her entire body quaked as he held her hands slipped from the railing but Stone continued to hold her upright as her body jerked in midair.

“Uggghhhhhhhhhhh”, Eryanna groaned as her arms came down and her body spiraled into ecstasy.

Stone watched her with content in his heart. He was far from done with her.

“Grab the railing.”

Eryanna could barely register his words as her body endured aftershocks of her orgasm.

“Grab it now!”

Eryanna grabbed the railing and watched as he allowed her weak legs to slide off his shoulder so that she could stand. He removed his clothes and produced a condom which he slid onto his dick. Stone was very well endowed. It was too much to handle, too much to take. But Eryanna wasn’t fool enough to reject him.

“What you did was a direct insult to me. Even if that wasn’t your intent, that’s how I took it. So, how does one handle that type of thing, Eryanna. Surely I can’t allow it to slide.”

Eryanna didn’t trust her lips to form words so she just stood there heaving, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she made attempt after attempt to catch her breath.

“Up.”

Eryanna gripped the railing, feeling herself being lifted in the air once again. Only this time she was lower, leveled with Stone so that his dick met her entrance.

Without hesitation, he slid into her, gripping her thighs in a hook around his arms as he began to move into her.

Shuddered breathes left Eryanna with each stroke as her eyes lowered to meet his.

“I’m declining the transfer.”

Eryanna closed her eyes as he began to slam into her, gripping her thighs tighter as his arms flexed, his hips twisted, hitting her at an angle that caused her to yelp before she moaned deep within her throat.

“You work for me!”

“Yes”, Eryanna screamed as he began to ram into her at the speed of a piston. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“You belong to me!”

“Uggghhhhh fuck!”

“Look at me!”

Eryanna brought her eyes to his, looking at him through her hair that was now sticking to her face. Eryanna’s mouth dropped open before she bit down hard on her lower lip.

“Perm-”

“Already, Stoner? I just got in you.”

Stoner was the most conflicting thing he could call her. It was an insult and a term of endearment all in one. As he explained it, Stoner because you stay high and as your boss, knowing that I should fire you. Stoner also because your mine. You belong to Stone. Property of Stone. Mine.

Stone looked into her eyes. “Mine.”

“Please Stone! Permission.”

“Denied.”

Her hands slipped from the rail, she was falling back but her orgasm was so strong that she couldn’t catch herself. Her breathing seemed to slow. Everything happened so fast that it literally had her delusional.

Her tongue seemed thick in her mouth, she couldn’t speak.

Her ears rang.

Before she knew it…she was screaming his name at the top of her lungs.

AIN’T NO CROWNED 3!- Signed Management!

I’m just gone leave this right here and let the title deal with itself.

Unedited/Copywritten @DeshonDreamz

Ashura is returning to work but not in the way that we would expect.

Ashura placed a kiss on Zaire’s cheek before she stood up out of the car to look at Anthony. He was pouting and though he was a grown man that should not be pouting at all, Ashura had to admit that it was cute on him.

“What time you plan on getting off and shit”, Anthony asked as he looked through the backseat mirror to check on Zaire before he turned his glare to his wife.

Ashura chuckled before she got on her tip toes to kiss him. “Babe, I’m just getting things back up and running, it’s going to take a minute for things to settle. My nights will be a little longer but I want you to be patient with me.”

Anthony huffed. “I get that shit but I mean- what’s a man to do when he be missing his wife and shit. Can you like ask someone else to handle the extra shit and you just focus on getting yall some cases to work.”

“It’s my second week at this firm”, Ashura mumbled.

“Trust me, I know. I don’t need you to tell me that shit. You still haven’t answered my question though.”

“I’ll try to wrap things up by ten tonight.”

“Ten!” Anthony didn’t like that sound of that. “Hell nah! Fuck that! Yo ass gone have that shit wrapped up by seven and Zaire and I will be out here waiting for you. She gone need some milk because you didn’t pump enough for you to stay here til ten.”

“But you can just…”

“I ain’t giving her none of that powder shit!”

“It’s formu…”

“Yup and you can keep that shit. My baby ain’t drinking that poison. Fuck kind of milk come in a powder form? Shit is not normal!”

“Babbbbeee…”

“Zaire gone need milk and I’m gone need some pussy, we’ll be back to get you at seven! Im about to go take Zaire to see my parents because ma been begging me to bring her by then we going back to the house to kick it and wait until six.”

Ashura inhaled before she shrugged. “Ok, whatever.”

She went to walk off but Anthony grabbed her. “When do you plan on meeting my parents?”

Ashura exhaled. “I don’t know when I’ll be ready.”

“You’re my wife and the mother of my child. I won’t be able to hold my mother off for too much longer, love. She wants to meet you.”

“Anthony, you know I-.”

“I know, I understand and I’ve been extremely patient. We’ve been married for almost a year, how long do you expect my family to wait to meet my wife?”

“They see Zaire.”

“And don’t know where she came from. Think I’m some hoe that’s making up a story of being married.”

Ashura’s head dropped before she looked back up at him. “Can you just…give me a minute or two. Like, I just need a little more time.”

“How much time?”

Ashura kissed Anthony. “I promise”, she mumbled, staring into his eyes. “I’ll meet them soon. I want to meet them you know that, it’s just that, it’s a big step for me.”

Anthony pulled her to him, accepting her arms as she wrapped them around his waist. He reached up, pushing her wild hair away from her face and kissing her deeply. “I understand. I always understand. Just…think about when so that I can get my mother off my back. She wants to meet you.”

Ashura consented. “Baby, I want to meet her to. I love you and I know that me meeting your parents has to happen sooner than later. I’m sorry that-!”

“Don’t start that shit, you always apologizing. I’ll handle my parents. You just focusing on getting as much work done as you can so that you’re outside and waiting for me at seven.”

With that, Anthony kissed Ashura and grabbed her ass as if they weren’t standing in the middle of busy downtown Dallas. “Don’t be in that bitch flirting with the paralegals like you did me.”

“I did not flirt with you. I was a professional. You on the other hand, start fucking the client that you were sent to kill.”

Anthony’s smile dropped. He hated when she talked about why he was in her life in the beginning. He never planned to hurt her, she knew that, yet she still decided to make jokes like this. “Ashura, I hate when you do that shit.”

Ashura threw her head back and laughed. “Calm down, Killa.”

“Ha-ha, very funny!”

“I love you!”

Anthony turned his head when she tried to kiss him which caused her to laugh and grab his face, forcing a kiss on him. “Stop being like that”, Ashura fussed.

“You need to stop bringing up old shit. I don’t like it and you know it.”

“Ok ok!”

“I was gone kill you but yo pussy was good. Good pussy saves lives.”

“Oh my God”, Ashura blushed as she pushed herself out of Anthony’s embrace. “Bye!”

“I love you”, Anthony stated through his laugh as he kissed her.

Anthony released her, giving her a smile as she adjusted her briefcase in her hand and walked up the stairs to the building that housed her new office.

Ashura decided that she didn’t want to run the firm this time; she would rather have a team around her, so that she could still focus on being a wife and a mother. It took a lot convincing when it came to Anthony allowing her to go back to work, she couldn’t even apply for a position until Zaire was six months. It didn’t take long for her to be offered a job and she flew back to work as soon as she could, still attempting to get into the swing of things.

Ashura walked up the stairs into the office building that she worked in with a smile on her face. This smiled wasn’t forced, it was genuine and she felt good.

She greeted the man at the security desk with a rushed good morning and nod before she took the elevator to her floor. She entered her office and placed her briefcase down taking her seat.

A knock on her door got her attention. She smiled when she saw one of the other partners, Vanessa Styles. THE Vanessa Styles, once her biggest competitor, now her co- worker.

Ashura waved her in.   “Good Morning!”

“Good Morning, Boo!” Vanessa greeted.

Vanessa was shocked as hell when the resume of Ashura Trenton came across her desk. She didn’t know what happened to her firm, didn’t care. She had made several attempts to get Ashura to join teams with her and was head over hills excited about that fact that she had finally joined forces. If she had learned anything about Ashura, it was that it was better to be with her than against her. “I know you don’t want to see my face this early but I just wanted to make sure you got the things I sent you.”

Ashura laughed before she nodded. “I did and its fine that your in here this early. I was just going to look over them.”

“No rush”, Vanessa stated. “I was just making sure you got them. How are you settling in?”

Ashura licked her lips. “I’m settling. I think I need to get used to use being on the same team.”

Vanessa folded her hands together in a praying manner. “Pretty please get used to it? I need you, girl! I need you here with me!”

Ashura laughed and waved her off. “I think I will settle just fine. No worries.”

“Listen”, Vanessa let out, “You single handedly almost killed this firm. Snatching everybody and they momma. I need you on my side. This firm is just as much mine as if is yours. I don’t care that I started it. Its yours as well. Got it?”

Ashura inhaled. “Got it.”

“Good.” Vanessa turned to leave before she stopped. “Oh um…your husband called and told me…”

“Oh my God”, Ashura exclaimed.

“…said that I am to kick you out of her at seven. So…yeah. We doing lunch?”

Ashura shook her head. “I can’t believe that man called you! Sure, we can do lunch!”

“Cool!”

Ashura laughed as Vanessa left, shaking her head at Anthony’s dramatics. She grabbed her phone off the desk and exhaled before dialing a number.”

We’re sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.

We’re sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.

Ashura disconnected the call and placed her phone on her desk before she took in a breath. She had gotten everything in her parents’ old house disconnected. Anthony was handling the selling of the property because even though it had been years since they’d been gone, she knew she wasn’t ready for that. Ashura vowed that she would let go of past hurt. Hearing that the number was disconnected put a lot of things in perspective for her, they were gone and there was nothing that she could do about it.She glanced out of her office window, the sun shining bright in the sky, kissing her skin in a low caress. She would be ok. Eventually, she would be ok.