Time Machine?

I allowed her to walk in before me, sending a silent prayer up that I didn’t mess this up before it could take off. I knew there was shit between us that we had to one day discuss but right now, I just wanted to be around her. Maybe that made me a horrible nigga, but I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the first piece of peace I could gather in such a long as time. It was selfish and I knew this moment would not last forever; my plan was to enjoy Ashton as much as I could before this shit blew up in my face, becoming calamitous. She was apprehensive but I understood why. After several failed attempts on my end, we were finally in the same space together that didn’t involve having others around us. My space. My apartment more specifically. Lifting the camera from the end table, I watched as she ran her fingers down the back of my couch, walking slowly in the direction of the coffee table on the opposite side of my living room. She reached with her other hand to toss her hair over her shoulder before looking back at me.

“Finally got me here.” She turned, her eyes low and pensive as she looked me over. “What do you have planned?”

I lifted the camara that hung around my neck to focus it on her as she smiled slightly. I was slow in my admiration of her, like always I didn’t rush the process of taking her in. No man in their right mind would. Slowly, my finger came down to the shutter release as she posed, tucking her chin behind her shoulder and looking directly at me.

“Don’t act like I haven’t been begging you to come kick it with me.”

Her sexy ass smirked before sauntering over to me, causing my eyes to move from the top of her head to her feet, which were covered in a strappy heel. The white polish on her toes was fresh, settling against the mocha of her skin. She seemed to glisten under the moonlight as it pushed through the window.

“I wouldn’t say you’ve been begging.”

I chuckled as she made a cute face before turning to look out the window. I lifted the camera again, snapping an off guard of her which caused her to turn back to me.

“I thought you were a professional.” Her eyes moved around my apartment before she frowned. “I’m no professional but a child would know the lighting in here is horrible.”

I sat the camera down before reaching out to grab her, pulling her into me. “The lighting isn’t that bad, not for the type of image I was going for.”

She collapsed against me gently before looking up into my eyes. “What type of image are you going for?”

Looking into her eyes, I wish I had a time machine or some shit where I could go back to when our live unintentionally crossed and change the choices I made. The idea of a future with Ashton was meek and concluding; though I wished shit was different. I knew better. I wanted different but I knew better. Still, I couldn’t help the way my heart raced when she looked at me the way she was looking at me now. I couldn’t pretend that her scent did send my mind off the deep end, hoping and wishing for shit a thug shouldn’t wish for. Complicated. Fucking complicated.

“Natural, Perfect.”

She snorted. “You’re such a professional.”

“Not a pro at all, just good at capturing things that captivate me.”

“I’m expecting you to make me look good.”

I tossed my head back with a slight laugh. “That’s easy shit.”

“Ummm hmmm.” Her tone was skeptical, causing me to look down at her.

“What you don’t trust me?”

Her brows dipped. “Sadly, I don’t know you Camillion.”

“That’s some shit I’m trying to change Ashton.”

My Nasty Valentine: Sex On The Ceiling

Journee X Gypsey

She stood before him looking like something to devour and he planned to do that shit, after he gave her the gift he nervously clutched in his hand. He did not know how things would go when he presented it to her. Their love had been a rollercoaster ride to say the least, but he was ready. He knew what he wanted and there was no need to continue waiting. It was mandatory for their love to advance, he wanted nothing more than to love her for the rest of his life.

“Did you enjoy your dinner love?”

Journee turned to me Gypsey with a bright smile as she adjusted her new diamond studded tennis bracelet on her wrist. “I had an amazing night and I absolutely love my gift.” She leaned into him, placing a slow kiss on his lips before she leaned back, looking into his eyes. “Do you like your gift?”

Gypsey lifted his arm, admiring the watch she brought for him. They exchanged gifts back at the restaurant, after they shared a dinner and soft meaningful kisses all night. She looked angelic in her flowing white knee length dress that she adorned with gold accessories, giving her the stance of a goddess, one that he was completely obsessed with. Now, she was wearing less; a black Basque number that showed far more skin, with garter straps that were connected to thigh high stockings that he had the honor of watching her carefully pull up her thighs. He did not think he would have that same level of patience when he removed them. “I love my gift.”

She stepped closer to him. “Are you ready for your second one?”

Lifting his free hand, he caressed her cheek before kissing her lips. “I wanna eat you.”

Journee blushed. “You still have a hard time keeping your thoughts in your head.”

“I wanna eat your pussy, please.”

She released a chuckle. “Or articulating those thoughts.”

He kissed her, moving his hand down to grip her ass before he stepped into her. She smelled amazing, had smelled amazing all night which created a chaotic struggle with his will to keep his mind centered on the dinner. Gypsey had fully transitioned into his Earthly form, but sometimes his attraction to Journee reverted his tongue, robbing him of words that he had used to articulate the thoughts in his head in other settings. It was her, everything about her that stripped him of his expert level of the common tongue.

“What if I said I want to taste you first?”

Gypsey grinned. “The respectable thing to do would be to allow me to taste you first, since I was the first to ask.”

Journee allowed her eyes to move over the smoothness of his handsome face. The structure of his cheekbones gave him strong features, the darkness of his eyes adding a level of mystery to him that she undoubtably appreciated. He stood way taller than her, but his height had been the thing that attracted her to him at their first encounter.

“Well, the last thing I want to do is not be respectable.”

Gypsey leaned in to kiss her, appreciating the softness of her lips as they pressed like pillows against his. Everything about her caused desire to stir in the pit of his stomach, his hands craved to touch more of her. She created a subtle yet undeniable chaos inside of him that he had to tend to or he would surely go crazy. The item in his hand began to feel heavy, calling for his attention.

He pulled back from the kiss, watching her beautiful face slip into an expression of confusion before she stepped into him, attempting to kiss him again.

He smirked before reaching around her to grip her ass tighter as she reached up to wrap her arms around him. Again, Gypsey swerved his face away from her, causing her to grunt. “What’s up?” She whispered softly, her voice full of desire.

“I have to ask you something.”

Her hands went to his dick, caressing him through his jeans as she smiled. “Talk to me.”

She unbuckled his belt buckle as he stared at her, following her eyes as they dropped down to his buckle.


“Yes?” She moaned as her hand slipped into his pants, encountering exactly what she was searching for. Just her touch awakened him, making him grow hard against her hand as she removed it to push his jeans down.

“Marry me.”

Journee’s hands stopped in her journey to remove his pants as she stood start to look at him, stopping his jeans at his knees. Her mouth felt dry as her eyes moved around his face. “What?”

She wanted to be sure she heard him correctly. Gypsey frowned before he pulled his jeans up. “I was asking…”

“What were you asking?” Journee’s stomach was doing summersaults, her nerves shot to hell.

Gypsey frowned. “I read somewhere that people like being proposed to on Valentine’s day. So, I, been waiting to ask you…”

“Ask me what Gypsey?” She heard his question, yet her brain was not able to properly process what his question. She needed to hear it again or something.

“I’ve asked.”

“You’ve asked what?”

Gypsey’s frown deepened, his confusion bordering on frustration. Was what he read wrong? “I want you to be my wife.”

Journee’s hand shot to her chest as her heart began to race. It had been two years since he threw her off her treadmill at the gym downstairs in their condos. Two years full of the most beautiful, unselfish love she had ever experienced, there was no doubt that the love they shared was authentic and specially theirs. There was no doubt at all. “You want to marry me?”

“More than anything.” Gypsey felt himself become nervous. “I’ll love you right. I promise I will. I’ll dedicate my entire life to loving you right.”

Loving Gypsey was possibly the easiest thing she had even been tasked with doing in her life. It was simple. He was simple, until he was not. Until something tripped him up, confused him or frustrated him. Even then, he was patient with himself, patient with her. He was amazing.


His frown waivered before it dropped. “Yes, you’ll be my wife?”

She swallowed, her emotions threatening to escape her. “Absolutely Gypsey.”

He smiled before opening the box and revealing the most beautiful ring she had ever seen to her. He lifted the ring from its placement before slipping it unto her finger as s tear slipped from her face. Tears still confused him sometimes, but he knew that these were tears of joy and not pain.

The ring was barely on Journee’s finger before she returned to kissing him. “I love you so much.”

Gypsey dipped to lift her into his arms before turning to push her against the wall, kissing her deeply as his hands moved between them gripping her ass through the lace of her panties. Journee’s hand moved up to his hair as he began to kiss her all over her face, then her neck before he leaned back to snatch her panties from her body.

“You smell so fucking good Journee.”

She was so lost in the movement of his hands all over her skin that she was barely able to register his words before her frame was being lifted. “Around my neck.”

Journee lifted her legs to wrap them around his neck as he adjusted her on his shoulders so that her pussy was in his face.

He smiled, happy as hell.

He licked his lips before looking up at her. “Don’t fall baby.”

Journee leaned against the wall, her adrenaline rushing as she contemplated all the possibilities of what could go wrong with her hanging midair. She could not dwell with those thoughts long due to Gypsey using his thick tongue to open her lower lips. Her hands pushed flat against the wall as her head moved back, pleasure starting at her toes before moving up her spine as he glanced up at her, exposing his tongue as it moved against her clit. He shifted her on his shoulders to free one of his hands before he reached up and placed them in her mouth. Journee eagerly took them, sucking and licking them until he took them back, placing them inside of her as his tongue returned to her center. His hand returned to her breast, gently brushing over his nipples before he applied pressure that made her entire body cover in chills as his tongue and fingers continued to stroke her into the ultimate level of pleasure.

“Oh my God Gypseyyy.” She cried to the ceiling as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, thighs trembling around his face as he slurped from her, in his own world.

She had to erase the porn from his laptop, he was far from the virgin he was when she met him.

The movements of his fingers inside of her increased, his tongue matching the tempo as her body began to stiffen. “Gypsey!”

His eyes closed as he groaned, taking pleasure in her pleasure.

“Mmmm shit Journee.”

Her spine went slack as her entire frame began to tremble, her body folding forward from the wall as he stepped back to make sure she did not fall. Before she could finish coming, he propped her up on the arm of the chair, pushing her legs back before he pushed his pants down, pulling his dick out as a panting Journee struggled to get her breathing under control.

“Are you… still watching porn?” Journee questioned as she looked up at him. He stepped into her, placing his dick at her entrance before he slid into her.

“You’re my muse love. I don’t need porn.”

Journee lifted to get closer to him, kissing him as he adjusted to drive into her. She felt him everywhere, it was like this every time he entered her. Time and space clashed, everything made sense, the world was at peace.

“Fuckk.” She moaned on a drunken slur as her eyes rolled.

Gypsey watched her face contort, loving every expression it made. Raving in the fact that he was the one that put them there.

“This pussy so fucking good.” He groaned before he leaned forward, taking her nipple into his mouth.

“You feel so good Gypsey.”

His back arched to drive deeper into her, pulling moans from her that made his dick even harder inside of her. Each moan of pleasure encouraged him to continue with what he was doing. His tempo did not change, his strokes did not deepen, everything remained the same and Journee rewarded his patience with another orgasm. “Shitt.”

Gypsey slapped her ass, causing her thighs to shake more, for her to come harder. In the two years that they had been together, he had learned everything that she liked and perfected it. He knew when to go slow, when to speed up, he knew how she liked her pussy ate, he knew when she wanted dick and he was there to give it to her every time. “Come on this dick baby.”

Those words prolonged her undoing. Her thighs shook as she gripped the cushion on the couch, trying to hold on to something that would keep her grounded.

Nothing worked.

He pushed into her until her body yielded to him, trembling all around him as her mouth fell open, toes curled towards her ass while her stomach clenched. She tried to reach for him, but he was too far, or she was too exhausted to give her full effort. She was not sure.

He continued stroking her until his own orgasm came and he released, deep inside of her.

Journee was too spent to move, so she stayed in her position, hanging off the edge of the couch until Journee lifted her.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him. “I need that level of dick for the rest of our lives.”

Gypsey chuckled as he began to walk them to their bedroom. “I’m engaged to be married.” Journee slurred, completely spent.

“Wake that ass up, Fiancée. We aint finished.” He smacked her ass, causing her to moan again before her back hit the bed.

“I need a water break.”

Gypsey chuckled. “After this round.”

Dear Haunted Truths, F*ck You Forever. ( A Halloween Short) Jess Words X Deshon Dreamz


“Please tell me that’s the last of the candy!” I begged my husband as I sank into the soft butter-cream leather cushions of the sofa. His smooth cognac colored eyes shined brightly at me as his face lit into a smile. This was his element. Ghouls and goblins, scary carved jack-o-lanterns; handing out candy to eagerly anticipating children. Halloween was his happy place; I just tried my best to participate, though I’d never really been a fan. 

“Yeah babe. We’re tapped out. Let me turn the lights off in the front and lock up. You headed upstairs?” Dre licked his thick, brown lips and smirked at me as I nodded my yes, lifting from my resting place to head towards our bedroom. The mischief in his smirk had me knowingly clenching my thighs. Turning my head to face him once more, we locked orbs and butterflies fluttered through my stomach. There was no getting used to that feeling, that tingle knowing he was mine.  No matter how long we’d been together, one look from him would ignite a fire that only he could extinguish. 

Upstairs, I laid out one of his t-shirts for me, and a pair of boxers for him after I grabbed our towels from the linen closet in the hall while he locked up the house. Setting our things down I stood before the full length mirror on the door of the bathroom. Slowly I peeled myself from my clothes. Admiring the varying hues of warm brown that stretched across my curves.

I want you to stop lying. I can’t keep hiding. What about my feelings?” 

The soft whimpering of a woman speaking through heartache shifted my eyes quickly to the opened window in the bathroom, ears on alert as the silence of the night elevated the hushed voices. I couldn’t help the tug on my heart as she pleaded for her feelings to be considered. For a moment, her pleas were my own.

You have to give me a little more time. I can’t just do what you’re asking without thinking about everything that’s going to change.”

The gruff bass of the man’s reply was met only with tears. 

“What you doing bae?” 

My left hand shot to cover my rapidly beating heart in a subtle attempt to return to calm. “Shit Dre you scared me.” I rolled my eyes and released a small laugh, knowing the only way he’d had a chance to scare me was because I was too busy minding someone else’s business.

“Prolly only startled yo scary ass ‘cause you was being nosey,” he snickered and walked across the hall into our bedroom. My eyes watching each footfall until he disappeared behind the door.

“You right. Did you hear anything outside while you were downstairs? Sounded like a woman was crying and a fuckboy was lying.” Dre laughed. 

“One of these days you gon learn to mind your damn business Rai.”

“Today obviously ain’t that day Dre.” 

He shook his head and release a light chuckle. “What I’m gon do with you Rai?” Walking up behind me, Dre pressed his lips to my ear and his  front into my back, trapping me between his warm body and the cold granite of the sink. 

A shiver ran down my spine as my nipples perked for his attention. “I can think of quite a few things. Let’s start with making a baby.” I replied as he ran his tongue around the lobe of my ear before grazing it with his teeth. 

Dre’s hand slid down the soft slopes and dips of my body as he pulled my need for him to the surface. 

JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH ANDRE!” The high pitched shrill sent silent shock through my body as I snatched away from Andre. 

“What truth is she talking about Dre?” I questioned, my patience worn completely thin.

“Rai what are you talking about?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his embrace slacked around my waist. Pulling myself from his arms with a hard roll of my eyes, I stood face to face with him; throwing nothing but attitude.

“Andre you really about to sit here acting like you don’t hear that woman yelling your name?” arms folded across my breast, I refused to let him play with me like I couldn’t hear.

“Sarai, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Dre threw his hands up and stepped into the shower not giving me the chance to respond. 

I walked to the window and stuck my head out, certain I’d be able to put a face to the woman screaming for my husband to tell me some secret truth. I blinked a few times when I noticed our normally quiet block had settled right back down after the trick-or-treaters had tapped all the neighborhood sources of candy. There were a few stragglers walking briskly to their destinations. I shook my head and blinked a few times more, before shutting the window and joining Andre in the shower. 

“I’m tripping babe. I’m sorry. I could have sworn there was some random outside screaming for you to tell me the truth.” I lifted my head to gaze at my husband as he stood under the cascade of the shower. The steam swirled above him as the hot water pounded into his muscles and suds dripped from his cherrywood brown skin. He stood stoic, back firm and straight, pretending he didn’t hear me talking, but the throb from my middle had me ignoring his annoyance.

“Always jumping so damn high for a conclusion you ain’t reach yet.” The anger in his tone threw me off balance. My gut twisted as alarms blared in my head. 

“Dre, you deadass? I heard a woman’s voice screaming your name and it seemed like you were going to act like you didn’t hear it too. I’m trying to apologize to your ass.” My own attitude now rushing to the forefront. 

“Sarai you always doing too fucking much. I’m going to bed.” He shook his head, rinsed the rest of the suds from his body and stepped out of the shower. I went through the motions of showering in a daze, trying to understand how quickly we went from hot and heavy to as cold as December in Chicago. Something was off with Dre and I couldn’t just lay down without getting to the root of it. That however, was exactly Dre’s plan. When I made it back into our bedroom he was under the comforter with the lights off and his back facing my side of the bed. 

“She always killing my damn vibe. That’s why I’m in this bullshit now.” Dre mumbled almost imperceptibly as he drifted off to sleep. 

His semi-conscious confession rocked me to my core as I tried to figure out how sleep would come now that these boulders had been placed on my chest. I laid on my side, back facing Dre’s back, questioning when we didn’t pray together before we sent one another into our dreams. 

Two hours. I had been laying in bed for two hours, wishing for sleep. He was hiding something. I hadn’t seen anyone outside when I looked, but surely he had to have heard her too. Why else could he be so mad? Maybe she was a little girlfriend he called himself having on the side, and now that she couldn’t just play her position he was going on the defensive. I couldn’t stop hearing that woman’s pleas for Dre to reveal himself to me. Replaying the way his demeanor shifted off of what could have been brushed off with a simple explanation for the past two hours, had my curiosity and my anxiety at an all time high. Sliding out of bed quietly, I walked the halls of my home, stopping only to glance at the clock. It was only eleven-thirty. 

Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I settled comfortably onto the sofa, content. If I was going to let my thoughts drive me crazy it would at least be where I was comfortable enough to answer the questions I posed to myself. Lifting the water to my lips to sip, a loud crash coming from the inside of my house sent me jumping up from my rested position and spilling the water all over myself. I took off running, not forgetting to grab the aluminum bat from near the front door. 

A second crash echoed loudly coming from the guest bedroom down the hall. I didn’t stop to grab Dre, assuming that he’d be coming behind me soon enough with the strap. If someone was breaking in, their best hope was the neighbor calling the cops so they could make it out with their life. 

I kicked the door to the guest bedroom open, bat in position ready for whatever. Only to find the room empty. Completely empty. The guest bed, dresser, and night stand were all missing from the room as well. The light was dimmed and flickered inconsistently as I stood there stuck, goosebumps rising on my skin as fear attached to the base of my spine; beginning it’s slow ascent. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, scared to go into the room, blinking rapidly scared of walking away from the door. Where was Dre? Why hadn’t he come barging down the hall, pistol in hand, ready to save me? 

“You may as well come in. You’ll never know what you want to know standing on that side.”  That same sultry voice beckoned to my natural inclination to explore. Almost trance-like, I slowly pushed into the room with the quick passing thought of this being exactly how bitches die in movies, nearly turning me around. In the center of the room where the bed previously occupied space, stood a tall woman. Taller than any woman I had ever seen. Her deep onxy skin sparkled, matching the sparkle of her beautiful gray orbs. Her hair fell in torrents of thick black coiled tendrils around her naked body adorned in gold jewels. Her full heart shaped lips painted red, cracked into a bold smile. I stood in awe of this woman. She was beautiful. Almost too beautiful, and though I felt propelled to smile, my gut filled with dread. My eyes roamed her from head to toe, soaking in her energy before taking in that her feet were not touching the ground.

Maybe she’s no woman at all. I told Dre all this Halloween shit was an invitation for shit that don’t need to be invited in.

“You don’t have to be afraid, there are things you must know now.” Her voice resounded in my head, but her lips hadn’t moved once. I looked behind me once more, wondering again what was keeping Dre from coming to see about me. I know he’d heard those loud ass bangs like I had. 

“I can answer all of your questions about Andre. You only have to take my hand.” 

Her outstretched hand levitated patiently in the air, almost knowing I was going to put my small hand into the palm of hers. I hesitated. Maybe this was all a hallucination from the lack of sleep I’d been getting lately. The pull to connect myself to her was overwhelming. The harder she smiled at me, the more I found myself filled with fear. 

“Come on Sarai. You don’t have to be afraid.” 

How did she know my name? “Wh-who are you?” I asked, my voice trembling. She said nothing. Just smiled, and jutted her hand out to me once more, slowly nodding for me to join her. For me to satisfy my curiosity. Throwing caution, common sense, and everything else to the wind, I placed my hand in hers. Her flesh was cold, almost numbing to the touch, and chills shot through my bones as we connected. The room fell from beneath my feet as I yelped in surprise. 

Immediately I was enveloped in a cold, damp darkness listening to the shrill of feminine laughter mingling with my husband’s baritone. A strong gust of wind swirled around me, before I felt the ground beneath my feet again. “Where am I?” I wondered out loud as a small light began to illuminate the room. I wasn’t certain of my whereabouts, though the room held the familiar energy of my house.

“Welcome Sarai. I am Aru. Please do not be afraid. Your fear is very painful for me to experience.” Aru spoke quietly as my eyes made out her form in the darkness. 

“If I could not be afraid I would, but sis I don’t just go teleporting around my house on a Thursday night all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening, and honestly I feel like it was a mistake to follow you.” I wanted to backpedal my ass out of the guest bedroom, but as I turned looking for the doorway, there was none. 

“Sarai, there is no exit from this room. You have spent much time building walls for this house, now it is time to face your truth.” Before she could fully finish her sentence, two large skeletons fell from a closet that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Dust particles floated through the air as the dried out bones clanged against one another on the floor. Loud. These bones were old and loud, and I was fighting a losing battle with the dust as it settled on my lungs. After a brief coughing fit, I stepped back to watch the bones clang and rattle their way in my direction. The more steps I took backwards, the  faster they came closer.

“These are yours Sarai.” Aru floated quietly between my thoughts. “You’re closets here are full of them. You and Dre haven’t been very good to one another now have you?” Her voice held a hint of accusation, a sobering fact when I thought about how jumping to conclusions about Dre had even led me to this moment. 

The bones of the fallen skeletons rattled louder as they circled around me, piecing back together.  The calcified hands wrapped tightly around my ankles, pulled me to the floor and began to drag me towards the closet. “Ahhh!!! Let me go. Let me go!!!” my screams were loud as I tried to shake free. I kicked my legs as hard as possible, and still there was no reprieve.

“Tell yourself the truth Sarai. These are yours Sarai.” Aru’s chilling whispers sent shivers through my body. What did she mean these were my bones?

Tears slipped from my eyes as the possibility of breaking free diminished. The skeleton was dragging me through the door of the closet, as I grasped for anything I could hold onto. “We never stay under the rug for long when you try to sweep us up,” the bones whispered as they pulled me further into the closet.

“If you get dragged into the closet, you will be trapped there forever Sarai. Please! Tell me where you are hiding your truth.” Aru begged as the skeletons increased their force.

“I never wanted to marry Andre.” I yelled out, surrendering to the weight of the skeletons. “I never wanted to marry Andre, but the man I wanted to marry didn’t want me.” I sobbed into my shirt. The tugging at my ankles stopped. The skeletons fell away. Aru’s voice was gone. There was just me, in the fully illuminated guest bedroom, halfway beneath the bed, staring up into the hypnotizing, pain-filled brown eyes of my husband.


This room felt cold. A shell of what once was, wrapped in delusion that I seemed to cater to. Sleep wasn’t coming. Would not come to me anytime soon so, I went in search for the thing that left me feeling voided; Sarai. That shit she came at me with before our shared shower had shook me to the core but I refused to allow it too much room to roam in my head. It was clear we needed to talk so I pushed the covers back, looking behind me in the bed at the spot that she occupied. Her breast rising and falling slowly reminded me that she had allowed me to go to sleep with a dry dick and beard. I didnt know what the fuck had her flipping out, especially when it seemed we were on the track to some good loving.  Standing from the bed, I stretched before adjusting my pants on my waist. When she pulled in a slow breath that caused a soft moan to flow from her lips, my dick hardened while my anger heightened.

“Aye.” I yelled, slapping the side of the bed to rattle her. “We need to talk!”

“And what will you say Andre?” 

I leaned forward, trying to determine if that voice – that was five octaves deeper than Sarai’s – had actually came from her lips. I hit the bed again. “We need to…”

“Lie to each other?”

My eyes shifted around the room before landing on a door that seemed to hoover in the middle of the room, nothing supporting it on either side. I blinked to clear my vision before looking back at the bed. My eyes rounded, spread wide as the walls turned black before my eyes. Fear clogged my throat as I blinked again, shaking my head to clear it. My mind rushed with escape routes to get us out of the house yet my feet remained cemented to the floor that was now covered in ash and smoke. “Sarai!”

In the instance that I yelled her name, the floor came from under me sending me falling. I released a muted screen as I continued falling for what seemed like forever. My heart was beating out of my chest, sweat flying from my brow as my body was thrown into a never-ending downward spiral. I tried calling for Sarai but nothing came from  my lips. Suddenly the fall seemed to slow until I landed in a chair, chains trapping my ankles and wrists in place. 

“What the fuck is this?”

“Be patient. Be honest. Those are the things that you promised.”

It was that voice again but I wasn’t able to see anything. I bucked against the chains, trying to free myself. The chains were not budging and my desire to be freed wouldn’t allow me to give up. “What is this place?”

The voice that had no image came to me again, louder and closer this time when it spoke, “What do you desire to know about Sarai?”

My never ending attempt to break free from the chains were the only sound that filled the room once those words hit me. “Who are you?”

Suddenly a figure occupied the space before me causing me to jump in fear. The hair all over my body elevated as my eyes moved around the man that now sat in a chair across from me. He looked like… me, just older with grey hair covering his face. His eyes were grey, his skin wrinkled and folding, he was dressed in an all white suit that almost made him look transparent, ghostly.

My mental state had shifted from confusion to fear in a matter of minutes. I worried about Sarai who was still sleeping in our bedroom.

“She finds peace in slumber.” The figure spoke slowly. “Those hours are the only time her mind does not wonder.”

I hadn’t verbalized my concern regarding Sarai, therefore I knew that my thoughts were not safe. The door that was in my bedroom appeared beside the man that hadn’t given me his name. “Who are you and why you got me chained to this chair?” I could hear my heart beating in my ears. “Where am I?”

“Ahhh!’ A dry chuckle followed his words as he stood, walking closer to the luminating door. “You now ask the questions that matter. Where are you? We are simply within ourselves.”

My rage boiled over. I pushed forward, grunting before I screamed trying to break free. “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WIFE?!”

“Your wife?” He spat in disgust before laughing again. “Wife?” he tittered in a childlike manner before looking over at me. 

He reached for the knob of the door as the flaps of his rusted suit jacket blew back from a sudden wind that rushed into the room. Small particles flew from him, hitting me in the face and chest. I closed my eyes, turning my head in time for the residue to land on my face and not in my eyes.  It was then that I noticed that he was indeed a ghost. My ghost? “Please?” I began to plea, terrified. “Just let me get back to my wife.” 

“I never wanted to marry Andre.” That scream came from Sarai, it had me shifting, searching for her. “I never wanted to marry Andre, but the man I wanted to marry didn’t want me.” 

“What?” I questioned as air rushed through my lungs. “Where is she? Take me to her!” I demanded. 

“Listen to her words.” 

The door inched open some more as Sarai’s voice got louder. “I never wanted to marry Andre.” 

Her words felt like slaps to my face in repetition. My heart slowed in my chest as her words became clear. “What is she… what does she mean?”

“Words speak truths lips hide.”

“She…she didn’t say that.” I denied with a firm shake of my head. 

“Now it is time for your truths to spill. Time wagers against us. Death is near. Life near its end depending on these lips.”

“Stop fucking talking in riddles!”

The walls began to crack loudly as the floor began to give way. “I just need to wake up.” I cried in a panic. “I just need to wake the fuck up!”

“Noooo…waking leads to nothing until the things we hide inside come from where they reside.” His hands lifted in the air at the same time that more ghostly figures began to crawl from the walls. “Come on and confess your truths. Death before dishonor…it’s what you told her.”

“Stop!” I squeezed my eyes closed tight. “I don’t know what  you want me to say!”

“Speak your truths or we shall die within these walls on this night. You don’t want this time to lapse, keep hiding truths and it’ll be your last.”

The figments grew closer, red eyes with blood running from their lips. They seeked to devour me. I just didn’t know what he wanted to know. “What? What do you want me to say?”    

“Your truth!” His voice boomed as the low growling nose of the people from the walls sounded at my feet. They were closer. Too close. “Creepy crawlers at your feet, yes it is your soul they seek.”

I thought hard trying to determine what it was he wanted me to say. I felt something touch me, then more hands, pulling at me. Suddenly the chains were broken giving me a false sense of escape. It was short lived as one of the figures from the floor stood tall, face to face with me. The room grew quiet again before it- whatever it was- yelled at me before the chains at my feet were broken. It charged at me, pushing me backwards. I hit the floor with a hard thump, backing up until my back was against the wall. 

“You are so stubborn that you would rather die?”

His question snapped something within me. My hands flew up to block my face as the figure from the wall charged me again.

“She was pregnant!” I yelled, feeling the levee of my deep desire to bury that lie that had haunted me, break. “She was fucking pregnant and I still married Sarai.” My heart ached. “She killed my baby because I chose Sarai. I- I never told her.”

The room began to spin, the people from the wall and the man that looked like an older version of me began to float into the air, wailing cries that rattled me still. I stayed in my position on the floor, eyes wide with moisture coating my entire body as I tried standing. Suddenly, I was falling again, this time when I landed, I was standing in front of a weeping Sarai, fully clothed. 

“Yoooooooooooooooo!” Terrance, my best friend yelled. “What the fuck is happening?”

I blinked before staring at Sarai who lifted her hand to wipe tears from her eyes. 

“I told you they shit ain’t perfect.” I heard Tasha, Sarai’s homegirl speak from the side of me.

“I told y’all that shit was for real but yall ain’t wanna listen to me.” Terrance yelled. “Now look at y’all stressed the fuck out. Got ghost revealing shit to you like we in a Paranormal movie or some shit. You ain’t gotta prove shit to my black ass more than once. I’m heading the fuck out. You gone need to hit the couch my G?”

I ran a hand down my face, still fuming. “Chill Terrance.”

“Chill?” He questioned. “You telling me to chill when you was just in there crying a little bit?”

I huffed before mugging him.

“All I’m saying is that I seen it with my own eyes so don’t say nothing to me when I get emotional.”

“Shut up!”

“You didn’t want to marry Dre?” Kim questioned with wide eyes, pulling at Sarai’s arm.

“Of course, I did!” Sarai cried. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“That’s not what you said in there.” Kim stated firmly. “Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Sarai ran her hands through her hair as I looked up at the house that our friends had dared us to go into during our visit to the Fall Festival. There were tales about this particular Haunted House scaring you to the point of revealing your deepest darkest secrets. I could now vouch for that being the truth. 

“Who is the nigga you wanted to marry? Who is he?” I demanded. 

She pushed me. “You don’t get to fucking question me when you lied about Tara being pregnant by you. I knew you fucking lied and I believed you. I trusted you!”

“You knew that I was fucking you and Tara at the same time!”

“What?!” Tasha yelled. “Oh, this tea is hot honey!”

“You shut the fuck up!” I gritted while mugging her. “Yo ass just mad that I didn’t bless you.”

When her mouth dropped, I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about her saying anything else.

“You told me that you stopped when we got serious.”

“I’ve never lied to you.” I stated firmly. “I did stop. I stopped the moment I fell in love with you but you lied about loving me.”

She exhaled. “I didn’t lie to you. Tara was pregnant.”

“She didn’t keep it.”

“But still, she was…”

“You lied about loving me! What the fuck do you think is worse?”  

“I never said that I didn’t love you! I never once said that!” She yelled in my face. 

“You loved someone else.”

“You had a woman pregnant by you!”


“You lied!”

“Fuck you!” I spat! I waved a hand behind me. “Fuck you and this stupid ass haunted house.”

Sarai followed me the moment I stormed off. “Are we going to talk about this?” She questioned after we got a small distance away. 

“I think we’ve talked enough.”

“This issue is that we haven’t talked enough!” Sarai pleaded. “Dre, please?!”

“I don’t know what to say to you! You didn’t want to marry me!”

“Let’s just go home so we can talk, please?”

I stared into the eyes of the love of my life, completely confused about how to feel. “Tell me and we can.”

She opened her mouth to speak at the same moment a man stepped into my vision. “Who the fuck are you?”

Sarai turned, her eyes big as hell. “Don’t matter who the fuck I am. Just know that I came to get Sarai.”

The End. 

Why We Have To Protect Our Mindset As Black Women.

“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman, the most unprotected person in America is the Black woman, the most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”  – Malcolm X

There is this…thing. This weird thing that continues to happen and it’s so weird that I didnt even want to address it.

Why are black women always to blame? For anything. For everything. For nothing.

The news never fails me. When I need a reminder of the imbalance when it comes to the scales of justice and it’s misrepresentation of black women, I literally turn to it knowing that I will be fulfilled in my need to be reminded just how far behind in that race we are in. Last place.

  • In 2014, African Americans constituted 2.3 million, or 34%, of the total 6.8 million correctional population.
  • African Americans are incarcerated at more than 5 times the rate of whites.
  • The imprisonment rate for African American women is twice that of white women.
  • Nationwide, African American children represent 32% of children who are arrested,
    42% of children who are detained, and 52% of children whose cases are judicially waived to criminal court.
  • Though African Americans and Hispanics make up approximately 32% of the US
    population, they comprised 56% of all incarcerated people in 2015.
  • If African Americans and Hispanics were incarcerated at the same rates as whites,
    prison and jail populations would decline by almost 40%.
  •  via https://www.naacp.org/criminal-justice-fact-sheet

It’s the same reason a black woman placing a claim is not as impactful as a white woman placing a claim. Even with the rape culture, white woman holds president when it comes to judges hearing and prosecuting their attacker, at a lower rate than the prosecute black women’s attackers. Take into consideration the countless number of men (majority black) who are behind bars because a white woman claimed she was assaulted. The evidence is subpar, the details and accounts don’t line up properly, yet, they are prosecuted and serving time for crimes that they couldnt give you the details of because they simply were not present at the time of it.

In the Malcolm X quote stated above, which I have heard a million times, it sounds like a cry for help. The lack of interest when it comes to the protection of the black woman is directly centered around the culture in which we are raised.

From early childhood, most African American women are handed responsibilities that she is not trained or has the knowledge to handle. Most times, we are taught to cook, clean and cater to the needs of a man so that we are chosen when the time comes. We are presentable and capable of being a wife. Wait…you already teaching me how to be a wife and I haven’t learned how to get a girl yet?! I haven’t learned how to be a woman. You skipped all of that and went straight to grooming me to be a wife. That’s not how it works, especially if you aren’t using that same energy with boys; teaching them to be a husband out the gate. It’s unfair that I have to be stripped of my childhood because I was born into a competition that I don’t remember signing up for. You have to think before you say things, think before you do things. I don’t care how many “shares” “likes” “comments” you get when you make a post “joking” about R. Kelly and his predatory ways, I can tell you as a woman who experienced sexual assault myself, it’s not funny. I don’t see the sense of making fun of anyone else’s pain. Social media hype be damned.

This is not being said to discount the claims made from women of any other color, this is just me giving the facts that have been given to me.

I try so hard not to address “social” topics on “social media” because there are so many different ways to offend people without knowing. I’ll say this about the “R. Kelly” thing. Anyone that has been a victim of an older man preying on your innocence and nativity, you understand the depths of the pain he caused those young girls. Any interaction a girl has with a man in the early stages of her life will directly impact her when she becomes a woman. It changes your mindset. It changes the way you look at and accept love from men. You constantly strive to “love” someone the way that you are used to be loved. It molds your tolerance and acceptance of things. That’s why fathers are important, its the first male relationship that a woman will have with a man. It’s the foundation of how she responds to the husband you’ve been prepping her for since as far back as she can remember.

I am…so glad that I wasn’t raised under the pretense that a man complete my destiny. I was raised on Jill Scott.

If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would even matter? You’d still be mad at me
If I can find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you’d still be miserable
In reality I’m gon’ be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults for all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may bring me down when I say
That it ain’t up to you, go on do what you do ” Jill Scott    
Songwriters: Adam W. Blackstone / Jill H. Scott / Steven Wadell MckieHate on Me lyrics © Jellybean Music Group ArtistJill ScottAlbumThe Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3Released: 2007Recorded: 2006Producer(s)Adam Blackstone

We have to start protecting our mindsets. We have to protect our children. We have to allow them to be children. We have to re- enforce their beauty or they’ll search for it in arms, and beds that mean them no good. We have to change the narrative. We have to protect ourselves and go hard for ourselves the way that we go hard for others. We have to remember who GOD called us to be. You can’t be his peace if your life is in turmoil. Now, we have to also remember the valuable things instilled in us. We have to remember those teachings that craved us and made us into who we are today. We have to be better at protecting ourselves before we can be the “better half” to anyone else.

Prey For The Hunted: Amani’s Prey is Now AVAILABLE!!

Soul ties are unbreakable, especially those created in Dejunza.

Nyree has always been quiet, calculated and defensive; not knowing the depths of one’s lineage can make a person that way. The abandonment of her parents left a hole in her heart that no one had been able to fill. With hurt and pain, come reflective actions that cause Nyree to bury her heart and soul in a place that she knows no one will be able to penetrate.

TezAvant is also familiar with having to transition at a young age. After a run in with a local gang that left him lifeless, he finds himself thrown into a world that will change him forever. The moment he encounters the free spirit with distance in her eyes and an invisible barrier around her, his soul let him know that she was created for him and him alone.

Two stubborn spirits clash in book one of the P R E Y saga, but it’s a battle that neither of them has the power to control.

This book was amazing.. It was so well written.. I’m always a little iffy when it come to paranormal but this book was so much more.. It’s in a league of it’s own.. It’s most definitely paranormal but there are romance, erotica and urban elements to it as well.. Amani/Tez 😍😍 Them together..Jeezus lol Mannnnn PERv is dangerous a game to play.. & it’s had some good side effects in these last 2 books..lol The scenes we’re so vivid in my head it was like I was watching a movie.. When this comes to the big screen one day l’ll be there front and center.. ❤️❤️

5.0 out of 5 starsHer best work yet!!
Here is the link: 

FINAL SNEAK PEEK “Prey For The Hunted” Book One of the P R E Y Saga!

Book ONE



Their First Encounter 

“Grab her for me, bro!” He could vaguely pick up Daniel’s request because he was moving in the direction of the small tyrant who was gearing up to swing any second. The first thing he noticed about her was her hair, a large dark mane that seemed to give her more life. More light. The second was her dress –  brown in color – clinging to every inch of her. TezAvant’s stepped faltered before he recovered. He was so taken by her that it stumped him yet he advanced.

Amani awakened inside of him, feeling his core shake with a surge of need.

Tez smirked as he sat the beauty down on her feet. She was so much smaller than him but the fire behind her eyes made her feel like a giant.

The first threat flew off her lips with so much ease that it got Tez’s attention immediately. “Don’t grab me when I’m about to whoop ass!”

Tez felt star struck. He smiled before he took a step back, running a hand down his low cut. “My bad. I was just doing what my boy told me to do.”

“I don’t care what your boy says,” she snapped. “Don’t do that.”

Tez tucked his bottom lip, not knowing what to say or do. “Again, that’s my bad.”

Who the hell is he and why is he so fine?

Tez blinked before his lips parted. She had turned away, looking around to find her friend who was being hemmed up by Daniel. Though he couldn’t see her lips, he knew that she hadn’t spoken those words verbally. He watched as she leaned against a meter to adjust the strap on her shoe. His mouth watered while everything inside of him raged with need. Suddenly and unprovoked, desire danced in his limbs like wildfire. He core heated, fingertips warmed with want as the night gripped him, holding him in place. Holding him watching her.

Amani’s eyes lowered before he leaped from TezAvant, shocking him. It had been so long since he made his presence known in physical form that he found himself unprepared for it. Just like the doctors had told him, Amani had grown to summon himself on his own but he never made himself visible to other people around him. He had grown into his full size, a size that would send a crowd running and screaming if he was ever seen.

Tez’s head swiveled down the street and around them as things seemed to move in slow motion. Nyree continued to fidget with her shoe as Amani slowly stalked over to her. He seemed to be moved by something territorial.

“What are you doing?” Tez communicated with Amani as he began to slowly walk around Nyree, trans-like. His tongue came out, sliding around his mouth before he leaned into her, sniffing. Just like the doctors had warned him, Amani had taken on a life of his own. After being merged for close to twelve years, Amani was full grown, wise and in control of his own being. He understood his human, though he didn’t always agree with him. They’d found a medium that worked for them to function as one. He cared about TezAvant’s well being, and it was not only because he was his soul host. Amani considered TezAvant to be a friend. An annoying one, but a friend all the same.

“You uh- you need help?” Tez asked, his voice low- distant, his eyes trained on Amani.

Nyree glanced up at him with a mug on her face, eyes rolling. “No, I don’t need help.” Not with this shoe anyway. “Thanks, though.

Amani stood before her, still attempting to sniff her out. There was something about her that was gravely familiar; he just wasn’t sure what it was.

“Nyree, you wanna get food?” Zhia asked, causing Nyree to pull her eyes from Tez and look down the sidewalk at her.

Nyree smiled, her slightly elevated level of frustration vanishing at the mentioning of her favorite companion- food. “I’m always down with getting food.”

Amani stopped his pacing, looking Nyree over as she slowly walked away from them but not before rolling her eyes at Tez.

“Can you hear her?” Tez asked Amani, thinking he was losing his mind. Amani shook his entire body before following behind Nyree. Tez wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he was scared as hell at this moment- not knowing what the outcome would be.

“So, you can’t hear her thoughts?”

“What?” Nyree barked as she looked back at Tez. “Are you saying something?”

Tez straightened, returning the swag to his shoulders. “Nah, ma. I ain’t saying nothing.”

She ice grilled him for a moment before turning around.

“I can hear her and feel her.”

Getting closer to Amani, who didn’t seem to care that it sounded like TezAvant was talking to himself, Tez leaned over as if he was tying his shoe. Tez looked between Nyree and Amani. “Whatchu mean?”

Amani’s entire frame shivered. “She’s everywhere. A part of everything. She is Nyree.”

Amani’s mind was slowly gathering the data that it needed to pinpoint just who Nyree was. It had been so long since he last saw her and she had made some changes to her appearance but he knew her. He would always know her, always return to her. She still had the same scent, still carried herself with unspoken grace. She was still his Nyree. Amani’s heart rejoiced, wanting to reveal himself to her, knowing that she would know him but he didn’t want to scare everyone else on the street. He also couldn’t jeopardize TezAvant. His friends didn’t even know this side of him, which was something that Amani believed Tez should be left to reveal on his own time.

Tez only smiled at her. “It’s nice to meet you, Nyree.”

She looked back at him for a while before walking up to Zhia who was still conversing with Daniel.

“This is Daniel,” Zhia said as she pointed at him.

Nyree extended her hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you.” She turned to Zhia, suddenly feeling the need to get away from whoever the fine ass man at the other end of the sidewalk was.

She glanced back at him and he was staring at her with a blank expression covering his handsome face. “Are you like…ready?”

“She’s what?” Tez nearly shouted internally.

Amani slowly walked next to Tez, his entire mood shifting to joyous as he watched Nyree walk down the sidewalk. “She’s for your soul.”

Tez leaned against the building and grabbed his beard, running his hands down his face. “You talking nonsense.”

Amani nodded his head. “She’s for your soul. Or my soul. Either way, you can not touch her.”

Tez scrubbed a hand over his chin. “Whatchu mean I can’t touch her. Did you see that ass? Ass was fat as fuck, fam.”

Amani dropped his head. He sometimes wondered why he was assigned to Tez and not another human. “You can not be with her unless you are prepared to take everything that happens between you two seriously. She is not to be used as a booty call.”

 “Nigga, she got the perfect booty call body. You expect me not to pursue that?” Tez continued to eye Nyree.

“I expect you to leave her as is.” Amani demanded.

“Shiiitttt.” Tez groaned.

Amani turned to TezAvant, his fangs sharp and clear in their intent. “I will see us both into the afterlife if I need to.”

Tez lifted his left leg, completely stuck. “Over a female?”

Amani glanced down at Nyree, seeing beyond the surface of her. Far beyond what could be gathered with the human eye. “She has roots beyond this world. She had pain gathered and poured into her that is so misplaced and misguided.” Amani looked up at the human that he had been attached to for over ten years, knowing him better than he knew himself. “You will one day be the man that she needs but you are not anywhere near him yet.”

Tez was offended by that. “I’m a good dude.”

“You are too obsessed with the female form to ever appreciate just one. Even if she holds beauty beyond anything you would ever be able to obtain in the company that you currently keep.” Amani began to pace slowly, the jet black hairs covering his spine shimmering against the moonlight. His paws spread with each step as he curls around humans that walked the sidewalk. “I hold everything good about you inside of me. All of the things that give you peace are carried here.”

Tez propped his foot up on the wall behind him before looking down at Nyree who was still talking to Zhia. “So, why can’t I have her?”

“Because she is not something to have, TezAvant. She is something to cherish and cater to. Even though you are getting older you still think with the wrong head. You allow it to lead you versus having control over it and if you screw over Nyree Fisher, it will literally be the death of us both.”

Amani looked down at Nyree again before she walked off down the sideway. “She also carries everything that is good about us, inside of her.”

Pssssttt! We have another release coming 09.06!

I Get Lost In Your Love




#Dirty30 & Get Laid in Vegas.

That was the plan. That was the entire plan and ExZhia Bishop had prepped her mind and body to be completely in line with the plan. She decided that she would leave her morals, common sense and decency back home in Dallas and just go for it. Determining that she only lived once, and turned thirty once. She wanted to do something brazen and completely out of character for her and she had her plan. That was until a morning run turned into an accident that shifted her plans as well as her life in a way that threatened to ruin her birthday and her opportunity to sow her wild oats.

Daniel is in a weird space, one that he dreads deeply and wishes to be delivered from. Divorce is hard in itself but the added level of betrayal he was experiences made him feel broken in more ways than he can verbalize. He had to shake back and in order to do that, his close friends conclude that a spontaneous trip to Vegas is the thing that he needs.

Two paths that constantly cross are surely meant to be tangled in some way. Right?

I Get Lost In Your Love is a witty, fun-filled love story about pain, growth and the journey of love.

Most of you have already gotten a look into this book at the end of Right At Love (https://goo.gl/PoswkD) but here is an extended sneak peek!


Chapter 29!

…but it’s literally the Prologue, so not really!


This chapter should be called…running (literally running) into a fine man at the park! But nope, I decided to go with an ode to the slaying of my youth. When I say slaying, I don’t mean it in the sense that my loveable Houstonian Beyonce meant it. I mean it in its natural sense- the overkill and literal death of my youth. I don’t know why we as women freaked out when we hit the curve to turn thirty but I was definitely following suit with the norm. Well, it was either that or I had some sort of death wish. What other reason would I be running like I stole something at five in the morning? Ok, I wasn’t running that fast because I just wasn’t naturally athletic per say. Ok, let me be honest because this was my first time running all year. I mean, I ran to the elevator when it was about to leave. I also ran into the church when I was behind schedule. I even ran to the mailbox but my feet never increased in its speed or tempo when I did that. But everyone says they ran to the mailbox so I think it’s only fair that we count my trips as running as well.

I’m rambling before I even introduce myself. My name is ExZhia Raine Bishop. Yeah, my momma was tripping hard when she named me so all my real friends call me Zhia. All the people in my life that liked being assholes called me Ex. I’d been living with that name for the last twenty-nine years and I probably came out the wound wanting to change it to something simple like Leslie or Brittany but my momma all out cried the first time I ran the idea by her. She started going off about my roots and the fact that my African ancestors would turn over in their graves if I Americanized my name. I didn’t even know if my name had African roots for real because sometimes my momma be reaching. I wanted to tell my momma that the chances of me visiting Africa in my lifetime were slim to none. Maybe I would be able to make it in my second like when I came back as a white woman named Leslie with good credit dripping in white privilege. Yes, white privilege is a thing and I was well aware of it. This ain’t what this book is about though, so we won’t get into that. As I already stated, I’m twenty- nine years old and pretty sure I was experiencing a premature midlife crisis. When my best girlfriends called me to see how I would be celebrating my Dirty 30, I literally had a mental breakdown right in front of the elevator that I had just run to. It was a mess. A complete mess. I literally cried in my corner office at one of the biggest technical advancement corporations in the world. I had snot and spit-ugh! I was a very low day for me. After that breakdown though, I was able to pull myself together and actually create real plans. I would hit Vegas and get sloppy drunk. So drunk that the fact that I was thirty, unmarried with no kids didn’t throw me into the great depression of two thousand and eighteen. Was going to Vegas and getting drunk the ideal situation for me? No, not at all. But I spent so much time crying about turning thirty that I forgot that I had to actually celebrate my birthday. So my last minute plans were the same as everyone else’s- go to Vegas, get drunk and maybe have a one night stand with a fine stranger that I’ll never see again.

The one night stand thing was a reach being that my momma drilled me with these things that I found annoying in my old age- morals. Farah Bishop was so serious about waiting until marriage that I think she made a song and dance to go with the saying. Though I did get buck wild in college- it was a very contradictory version of what most would expect to be attached to that term. I didn’t all out wild out but I did toss my v-card out the window and throw my ass in a circle a few times because ain’t that what college is really about? Losing cards and ass throwing? Of course, it was.

So, here I was running and sounding like I was about to have an asthma attack at the crack of dawn because well- it seemed like what I should be doing. I was not a size two and like I said- me and athletics? Nah. I was one of those people who looked to be in great shape and was absolutely not. I had a nice full figure that I inherited from my southern roots. I was the weirdo stuck between being thick and fat- you know that silver lining- I paid rent there. Honestly, though, I wasn’t trying to change anything about my body. I actually loved my body even with my cellulite, big thighs, and ass. I wasn’t the sexiest thing but the way my confidence was set up, you couldn’t tell me shit about me. My hair was in its natural state, graced with about fiddyllem different curl patterns that I tortured myself by trying to tame every night and morning. I was moving up the ladder at Prime Source, which was a fast-growing technical engineering company out of Dallas that I started to work at fresh from Sam Houston State University. I should own the company honestly but you know that glass ceiling black women encounter in corporate America? Yeah, I’ve hit my head on it a few times. I was one of the head engineers which afforded me a corner office and a fat salary but I knew this was as far as I would get for a while. As an old dirty bastard- thirty-year-old- black woman, I wasn’t doing so bad.

I was just about to pick up the pace in my run when Spotify failed me. My face scrunched up as I pulled my watch to my face to look at what was blasting through my ear. “Camila- what? Ew, no!” I groaned as I skipped to the next song, listening as Monica filled my ear. “Yassssss!”

“Oh shit!”

That wasn’t me. Nope! I didn’t yell out when the collision happened. I was too busy trying to register the pain that was radiating through my ass. “Fuck!” I hissed as I lay on the ground looked up at the sun as it pulled from its slumber of the night. I blinked before allowing my eyes to close because this shit hurt. My entire body hurt.

“I’m sorry, beautiful! I didn’t see you!”

I wasn’t even listening to whoever was talking to me because I was pretty sure I was about to die. He sounded like Jesus because when I pray, this was exactly how Jesus sounded- like a fine, black man. I felt his presence near me, then I felt a hand on me, then two and honestly- it was the most action I’d had in a while so that drew my eyes open. I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the light before they opened completely. Yeah, I was dying. “Jesus?”

I saw his smile, his teeth perfect and shining. His hands were still on me. I really didn’t mind dying though because Jesus was fine and I knew he was probably gone send me to Hell if he was reading my thoughts right now. Jezebels always went to Hell is what my mother told me.

My ass was stinging so bad that it was making my head throb. “Am I at the Pearly Gates or nah,” I groaned as he looked down at me.

His face twitched before he moved his hand from mine down to my ankle. “I can assure you that you are not. Does your ankle hurt?”

“Everything hurts,” I replied as I went to move.

“Please don’t move,” he insisted as he pressed my shoulder down. “I’m going to call an ambulance.”

“I can’t go to the hospital. I have to get to work.” I replied as I tried to move again, only to have pain shoot through me. “Ugh!” I gritted as he pressed his hand to my shoulder more firmly.

“Please?” He asked again and for some reason, I listened. I kept my eyes closed before for some reason that made my pain less present. “You took a pretty nasty fall and I’m sorry that I ran into you. I saw you but then you were out of my path until well- you weren’t. Then we collided.”

“Yeah, I was there for the collision but I didn’t see you.”

I heard him telling someone our location in the park- more than likely the ambulance- but I was in too much pain to eavesdrop productively.

“Is there someone that I need to call?”

I shook my head. “There’s no one that needs to know that I busted my ass in the park.”

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was but my ankle did have a slight sprain. I really couldn’t be in Vegas walking around like Sir Limp A Lot so this ankle had two weeks to get its life together.

“How are you feeling, Ms. Bishop?”

I looked at the curtain as the nurse pushed it back and immediately wondered why the hell I was behind a curtain and not in a real room. “Ma’am, I have real life insurance.”

She laughed, clutching the chart to her chest. “Of course you do, Ms. Bishop. We left you down here because we didn’t feel the need to move you upstairs. We did a scan on your head and the rest of your body and the only thing we came up with was the issue with your ankle which was already explained to you. Outside of that, there is nothing else that you need to pay attention to.” She pulled the clipboard from her chest and grabbed her pen. “Now, I wrote you two prescriptions for pain: Tylenol 4’s and Ibuprofen.”

“Two different kinds?”

“You’ll have a lot of pain during the healing process. You don’t feel anything right now because you’re on Ibuprofen. Now, your boyfriend has been asking about you since you came back here. He wants to know if it’s ok for him to come back.”

My brows hiked. “I’m sorry?”

“Your boyfriend.”


Both the nurse and I turned at the same time at the sound of the voice coming from the opening of the curtain. I literally had to fight to keep my mouth was dropping open. He was not Jesus but he was so fine that I was just God handcrafted him with time, love and a lot of melanin. He was the epitome of too sexy to be real. Tall frame, possibly around 6’7, he literally looked like he was dipped in chocolate, his eyes dipped in honey. His hair was cut low to his head, waves circling his head. He was fine. I mean, next level fine. I wanted to lick him in weird places that any normal person wouldn’t want to lick a stranger.

“I wanted to check on you.” His voice was still sexy as hell. Deep and penetrating. Just looking at him was messing with my blood pressure. The nurse nodded her head before she walked out of the room, leaving me with this fine stranger that told her that he was my, “Boyfriend?” I asked with a blank expression.

His handsome face twitched into a smile as he stepped closer to me. “My name is actually Daniel. I just didn’t want them to kick me out before I checked on you.”

Looking down at the wrap around my ankle, I replied, “It’s just small sprain from what they explained.”

Those words made his face tighten. “Ah damn, I’m sorry about all of this.”

I shrugged, pressing my hands to the bed. “It’s fine. It should be fine soon anyway.”

“Well, I feel bad about this. I just wasn’t looking when I should have been and now your ankle is messed up.”

I could tell that he was really bothered and I wanted to comfort him- say something to make him chill- but these drugs had me loopy. “I –uh. It’s really fine. I’m going to call my friend and have her-.”

“No, please.” His voice. His eyes. Shit. “Let me take you home? I promise I’m not a creep or anything like that. I just- I would like to take you home. That’s the least I could do.”

I wasn’t comfortable with that at all. For one, I didn’t want him to know where I live. For two, I knew I’d ask his ass up for a cup of coffee, tea or me at the first opportunity I had- sprained foot be damned. “Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

“I insist.” He licked his lips and I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be a sexual gesture at this moment but I had all kinds of freaky thoughts running through my mind.

“I can just call-.”

“I can take you close and you can have your friend meet us if that makes you feel safer. I understand we don’t know each other but I- I feel really bad about this.”

I exhaled, shoulders humping. “Ok, we can do it like that.”

I looked around for my phone for a minute before I watched him move. He walked over to the side of me and grabbed my phone off the rolling stand. He was in my personal space and this time around, I was coherent enough to understand the level of man that I was dealing with. I was so glad that I wasn’t hooked up to anything because I knew everything on the machine would go haywire the moment he stepped in front of me. He was still wearing his workout clothes, giving a whole new meaning to the whole #greysweatpantsmatter movement. Yes, my eyes went to his print and my mouth watered, my body tingled and heated. I really really wanted to lick him. I could even feel my tongue snaking out of my mouth to do just that when he reached his hand out to hand me my phone.

“Here you go.”

I examined it as if it were a foreign object before taking it from his large hand. There was something about big visible veins in the arms and hands of a big, tall man that just screamed big dick to me. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied as he took a few steps back, sliding his hands into the pocket of his sweats.

I eyed him before training my eyes on my phone, strolling to find Resha’s number. She wasn’t my number one choice but she was a stay at home mom and the most reasonable of all my friends. I didn’t have many to choose from so it wasn’t like I had a whole bunch of folk to shuffle through. There was Resha who had been married for five years and suddenly- her life was kids, husband and maybe wine. Then there was Nicki who was a year older and me and literally my complete opposite. You remember me mentioning my morals? Yeah, she didn’t know what the hell those were. I’m going to leave that at that. Lastly, there was Carmen, who still didn’t know what she wanted to do in life. She was my confused friend but I loved her. I loved them all.

I went to Resha’s number, hoping she’d answer. “Hello?”

She sounded like she was still sleeping and I had to remember the fact that is as still early. “Good Morning! Did I wake you?”

“Its six o’clock in the morning.”

I cringed. “Yeah, I know but I’ve been assaulted-.”

“Assaulted?!” Both Resha and Daniel yelled at the same time. I looked over at him as his eyes bucked and his arms fell from their folded position against his chest. I tried giving him a look that told him he could relax but he clearly wasn’t convinced.

“Yeah, it’s just a small thing with my ankle though so, it’s all good. I need you to come get me so; I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

“Zhia, what is going on?”

“It’s really nothing major, Resha.”

“You just told her that you were assaulted,” Daniel uttered as he began to pace in the corner.

I pressed the phone closer to my ear as I eyed him; out of both curiosity and my undying need to have him in my sight.

“Who was that,” Resha asked in a rush.

“You heard him?” I asked with raised brows.

“Yeah, I heard him,” Resha replied in a panic. “Who was that? Where are you?”

“It’s my assaulter.”

“You’re WHAT?” Resha screamed, possibly waking up her entire house.

Yeah, I called the wrong friend. I knew her response was aided by the dramatics that I shamelessly added to the conversation though. “Ok, let me tell the entire story because it’s clear you tripping. You know I’m dramatic as fuck and to never take me seriously. But I was running this morning- wait, I was fast walking. Let me not start this story off with lies. I was fast walking and a man ran into me on accident and my ankle got a little twisted in the process of all of that. So, he insisted on taking me home but I don’t know him like that so I agreed to let him get me close and have you pick me up. I would have called Nicki but she lives further than you. It’ll take you ten minutes to get to me.”

A significantly less panicked Resha replied, “Sometimes, I question why we’re friends!”

I released a dramatic gasp. “Oh my God, you be doing that too? I question our friendship like fifteen times a day.”

I could hear Resha curse under her breath. “Call me when you need me to come get you, Hoe.”

“Thanks, Bestfriend,’ I replied in an excited tone that clearly annoyed Resha since she hung up in my face.

I chuckled as I looked up at Daniel, who was giving me a look that I couldn’t place.

“I can’t read you,” he stated on an exhale. “I’m trying to see if this is something that I need to prepare to get sued over.”

“No,” I insisted, hands out, brows bunched. “I don’t plan to sue you; I was just messing with Resha. She’s a mother so she has this tendency to freak out first and ask questions later. I like messing with her because of that. I have no intentions of suing you. Not at all.”

I could see him visibly relax before those sexy eyes bounced back up to me. “What’s your name?”

Here we go I thought before speaking, “ExZhia, but everyone calls me Zhia.”

He did that lip licking thing again. “Cool, Zhia. I’ll check with the nurses to see if everything is good to go.”

“Perfect,’ I replied as he walked out. I was sure to get a good look at his ass when he did so.

This had to be the awkwardest of the awkward silences in world history. There was awkward then there was whatever the hell this is. I was on the verge of running down the street and around the corner on this bad foot just to get out of this car. The car was nice, nice as hell and the owner was fine, fine as hell but my fight or flight senses were tingling and I was about to go the flight route when he spoke.

“I honestly don’t mind taking you home and I am truly not a stalker.”

I glanced over at him before nodding. “I believe you- I just; Resha must be running a little late. I don’t want to hold you up any more than I’ve already have. You’ve done enough.”

He shifted in his seat to look at me. “Don’t you need to call into work or something?”

“Not really,” I replied with my nose bunched. “I did send my boss a text letting him know that I would need today and tomorrow.” I rattled with the papers in my hand nervously. “What about you?”

“Nah,” he declined. “I’m the boss so I don’t have anyone to report to. I didn’t plan to go in today anyway.”

“Oh,” I exerted. “What do you do?”

He rubbed his full beard. “I used to be a corporate guy but I retired from that last year. I own a museum.”

I definitely wasn’t expecting that from him. “What kind of museum do you own?”

“African American Arts. Just a small-.”

“OMG,” I squealed, cutting him off. “You are not talking about Speaking Roots are you?”

The coy grin that came across his face gave him away. “Yeah. That’s me.”

I raised my hand to my chest, my excitement making me grab a hold of his shoulder. “Do you know how many times I’ve been to your museum? I live there! Then you want to downplay it to just a museum. It’s everything. A café, African American bookstore, a jazz, and poetry spot. It’s literally the only place I need in the entire city of Dallas and you own it?”

“I’m really glad it’s serving its purpose for you.” He stated with a small smile. “Did you know I’m working on a second location for Fort Worth?”

I smiled big at him. I could tell he was still modest about his endeavors, he even seemed to be looking for approval but I didn’t understand why a man of his caliber would need that at all. He was black, fine and successful; definitely not someone that screamed insecurity in a manner of anything but I would indulge. “Oh wow! I didn’t know that!”

He gripped the steering wheel with his large hands before exhaling. “Yeah, it’s in its first stages but I’m getting there.”

I just kept smiling, extremely impressed by the man across from me. “Look at you!”

His eyes stayed on me for a while before he spoke, seemingly having our situation crash into him. “Your husband or boyfriend not gone try to find me and fight me for hurting you, are they?”

I’m sure my face went through a series of things before my lips parted. Nothing came out. I closed my mouth back, swallowing. “No. No husband or boyfriend- it’s just me and my dog Juicy. She may be a little upset with you but she’s too small to do any real damage.”

His laugh caught me off guard. I wasn’t prepared for it to be so warm. Because of his withdrawn demeanor, I didn’t think I would be able to hear it. His laugh settled, then his eyes did the same on me and- heat, rushing and demanding settled in the pit of my stomach.

“You’re a nice woman, Zhia.”

“Oh, it gets complicated. Trust me.”

“I’ve had the misfortune of seeing the worst of the worst so far as complicated goes.”

Sadness crept into his eyes the moment my phone rang in my purse. I sat the prescription paperwork inside of my purse before pulling my phone out.


“Is this you in this Benz?” Resha asked her voice filled with sleep.

“Yeah,” I replied as I glanced out of the side mirror. “Here I come.” I disconnected the call and slid my phone back into my purse before gathering everything to get out of the car.

“Wait,” Daniel stated suddenly, “I’ll come around and help you.”

“You really don’t have to-.” My sentence stalled as he pushed his door open and walked around the front of his car. Damn! Even his walk is sexy. He grabbed my crutches from the back seat before he pulled my door open and offered me his hand before assisting me with getting out of the car. Once I stood out of it, he didn’t step back- bringing me face to face with him and quickly returning my urge to lick him.

“I’m sorry again.”

“I’m seriously going to pull my hair out if you apologize again.”

I expected him to laugh, at least smile when I said that but I got nothing, until well- I got something.

“You are extremely beautiful and I couldn’t let you leave without at least telling you that.”

Please ask for my number I pleaded in my thoughts. “Thank you, Daniel.”

He swallowed, his eyes moving to my lips. He blinked, then swallowed again before he finally stepped back. Handing me the crutches, he moved back again as I began to make my way to Resha’s car. She hadn’t even made an attempt to get out and help me but she was possibly stuck looking at Daniel. One glimpse into her front window confirmed my suspensions. Her tongue was practically hanging out of her mouth.

I leaned down, knocking on the window before I pointed down at the locks. “Can I get you to open this for me?”

She fumbling with hitting the unlock button as Daniel stood behind me waiting. Once the locks disengaged, he helped me inside of the car.

“Hi!” Resha greeted all the sleep in her throat gone.

“Hello!” Daniel greeted back as he reached across me to help me with my seatbelt. I didn’t see that move coming and I literally almost melted when I felt his hand touch the side of my thigh. Mine and Resha’s eyes connected before hers mushroomed. “I was trying to take care of your friend but this is as far as she would allow me to go.”

“Oh?” Resha spoke with a small, flirtatious laugh.

My eyes snapped to her as she continued to blush.

“Zhia, you know where to find me if you change your mind about suing me.” He spoke to me as he stood up out of the car. “You ladies have an amazing day.”

“Thank you, Daniel,” I replied.

He gave me a long lusty look ending with a flick of his tongue across his thick lips before he closed my door.

Both Resha and I watched as he walked to his car.

“Girl, what the fuck?” Resha questioned as he pulled off.

“Girl! Girl!”

That was the beginning and what I thought to be the ending of my encounters with Daniel but this wasn’t only my story to tell. But, welcome to my diary!





…or the denial of such a thing.



I should have stayed inside. That was my first thought when I woke this morning and I should have listened to the warning that echoed in the recesses of my mind the moment I peeled my eyes open. I wasn’t in the mood for anything and I found darkness comforting. That was where I dwelled for most of the day, into the night and then it was the same shit the next day until- today.

Today, I didn’t listen. I allowed the old me to tweak my interest of going out for a run that turned into a complete disaster. After lying in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling while my thoughts reflected back on the last six to nine months of my life- I decided to give my body a workout that was long overdue. I was still trying to get my feet back under me, still trying to figure out where I was going next. What my next move was.


I kept coming up with nothing, which equaled to more depressed nights and late mornings. Everything around me was spiraling out of control and there was nothing that I could do about it.

How does a man marry a woman, love her to the point of complete blindness, raise a child that he believed them to have created together only to have her deceive him in the most devastating way? For one, how does a man survive that? For two, how does a man find a way to live beyond it? I hadn’t figured it out yet and I didn’t see myself being able to do so anytime soon. I’d found a moment of peace, if only for a short period when I opened the museum. I needed a change; I needed something fresh- something that needed me in return. Since then, I’d been pouring my blood, sweat and tears into making it as successful as possible. In a years’ time, it had become one of the go to spots for millennial’s and beyond. I counted it as a blessing. I was good at counting blessings and I knew that God had his hand in my life, stirring things up for my better. It was just hard to see through the cloud of bullshit most times.

My phone ringing in the pocket of my sweats pulled me from my thoughts. I released a grunt before digging into my pocket to answer it, already knowing who was on the other end.

“I’ve asked you to stop calling.” I’d even changed my number to aid in my efforts to never speak to her until absolutely needed. I was still unsure on how she got my new number.

I heard her exhale, puffing air from her chest before she spoke. “We need to talk, Daniel.”

“I can’t think of one thing that I have to say to you,” I gritted as I moved through my bedroom, taking off my clothes to prepare for my shower.

“Daniel, are you seriously going to go through with this? After everything we’ve been through?”

I had to laugh to keep from cursing her out. She deserved to be cursed out. She deserved worse than that but I had never disrespected her no matter how much of a vile person she was, I wouldn’t start disrespecting her today. “Serenity.” She was everything but a representation of that name.

“I know that I messed up. I know that I hurt you, Daniel. I want to fix it; I want us to make this work.”

I leaned against the door of my bathroom, watching as stream began to fog the door of the shower. Running a hand down my waves, I tried to allow a moment of clarity. Not for me, but for her. “What we had is broken beyond repair.”

“Daniel,” she cried into the phone in a voice that once would have brought me to my knees. Seeing her upset, seeing her cry was never something that I wanted to experience but the person I am today wouldn’t allow me a moment of sympathy for her and her tears. “Please. I love you and I know that we can fix this.”

“We have a meeting with our lawyers in a few hours. You may want to prepare for that.’

With that, I disconnected the call. I sat my phone down on the counter before removing my sweats and climbing into the shower. I went in head first, allowing the water to wash over me. She wouldn’t sign the paper, which was the hold up. I’d served her papers a few weeks after everything came to the light and here we were a year later and I was finally able to say that my first and last divorce was about to be final.

I was getting the thing that I wanted but I was still losing. I was losing all the time I invested, I was losing my wife and I was losing my daughter.

I ducked my head under the water, trying to camouflage the tears that gathered in my eyes. My father always told me that a man wasn’t supposed to cry and under most circumstances, I could find my way around expressing my emotions in this manner but like I said- I haven’t found a way to deal with it.

Serenity didn’t break my trust- she severed it. She dismantled it in a way that would not make it easy to be reestablished. Not with her. Not with anyone. Nylah James was now officially Nylah Jude and there was nothing I could do about it because even though I was there at her birth; taught her how to ride a bike and properly brush her teeth- she didn’t belong to me. She wasn’t mine. Her mother broke the vows that we shared together and created her with another man. A man that I now knew would take care of her as I did because she belonged to him. Not me.

Since the separation, I had only seen Nylah a total of two times; both of those times were arranged by her biological father and short lived in my opinion. I didn’t know how to act around her; I didn’t know what to say. Nylah was the smartest six year old I knew. She was quick to catch on to things so she knew the moment that her mother and separated. She knew what it meant, she just didn’t understand why things had to change between her and I. I tried breaking it down to her, her father, Raheem, tried breaking it down to her but in her eyes, I was her father and so was Raheem. After a long conversation and a lot of convincing, Raheem got her to understand that he needed to spend some time with her while I go on a small vacation. He needed his time to bond with her and that was something that I could definitely understand. That was last year and now, he was slowly pulling me back into the fold because that was where I wanted to be. I couldn’t give Nylah up, I tried and failed. She’d just have two daddies like she loved to remind us.

I got out of the shower and dressed quickly, laying right back in bed in complete darkness. Like I said, this is how I like things.

The next morning, I was still dragging my feet but I had a slight pep in my step due to the fact that today was step one of starting over. I made it to the building where the first divorce hearing would be held and everything inside of me was torn. I was divorcing a woman that I was still in love with. In my heart and mind, I had it set in stone that I would spend the rest of my life with her. Now, I didn’t know where I would end up so far as love goes. I already know. I sound weak. But- shit I was weak. I am.

I caught my reflection in the glass of the building as I pulled the door open. I took a moment to gather myself, fixing my tie and suit jacket before walking into the building. I was almost immediately approached by Serenity who was standing off to the side, speaking to her lawyer. I had to admit, she looked flawless.

“You’re really doing this,” she whispered the moment she was in front of me, interrupting my route.

I slid my hands into my pockets before stepping around her. “This is long overdue in my opinion.”

“Long overdue,” she hissed at my back, causing me to turn around and take a step back in her direction.

“Yes, long overdue. I don’t want to stay married to you for another minute and the quicker we can get this over with, the better off we’ll both be.”

“Not me,” she cried, her voice thick with unshed tears. “Daniel, I’m so sorry. Please?”

“You don’t get to play the victim in this shit, Serenity.” I hissed, my teeth clenched so tight that it caused pain. “You are not the fucking victim! I am! Raheem! Nylah! Not you!”

“I know that what I did was wrong and I can admit to my mistake. I just want us to fix this. To fix us.”

“We were built on a lie.” I looked her over, annoyance lining my features. “There is nothing for us to fix.”

I walked off, leaving her in the lobby to meet my lawyer in the room he’d advised me to meet him in. As soon as I walked in, he handed me a folder. “What is this,” I snapped, still on edge.

He eyed me, sensing my tension as I flipped the folder open. “Her terms.”

“She don’t get no fucking terms,” I hissed as I slammed the folder down on the desk. “What the fuck does she want?”

“Nothing.” He replied. “She has agreed to walk away with nothing.”

I leaned against the wall of the room, dragging my hands down my face as frustration weighed heavy on my shoulders. I slowly took in air, forcing myself to calm down. “Nothing?” My eyes moved to him as he grabbed the folder that I didn’t even attempt to read off the table.

“She’s leaving you the house and only taking what she came into the marriage with.”

I didn’t even want the house because I knew if I kept it, I would end up selling it. The memories it held still haunted me, even though I hadn’t been there in over a year. “I don’t want the house,” I finally spoke after a moment of processing everything. “She can have the house. All I want is the divorce. I already have the loft so there is no need for the house.”

I already knew a rebuttal was coming. “What do you mean you don’t want the house? You paid for the majority of it.”

I reached up to loosen my tie, suddenly feeling like it a noose. “Yeah, I don’t want it. She needs it for Nylah.”

I could see his jaw clench before he nodded. “Fine. I guess you’re leaving her with the Range you purchased as well?”

He accepted my silence as my answer. “You can’t be serious, Daniel.”

“I am man,” I pressed as my exhaustion began to take  a toll. “Just give it to her.”

The flaring of his nostrils told tales of his annoyance. “Fine. I’ll run these updated details by her and her lawyer. Give me a minute.”

I exhaled as he walked out of the room, taking a seat at one of the chairs that was pushed up to the table. My mind wouldn’t settle, even after a while of just sitting there, having time to gather myself. I couldn’t. I had been praying, I’d been praying about my marriage, giving it to God and asking him what he wanted me to do. I knew that he was against divorce but there was no way for me to repair the damage that had been done without sacrificing my happiness. I wanted- no- I needed to be happy.

I was a single man. It felt weird yet refreshing. I had been in my slump long enough. After two weeks of no work, no daylight or communication with the outside world, I was finally ready to get back to work. I walked into the café area that occupied the building next to the museum as the night crowd began to form. I didn’t have much that I needed to take care of being that I had a reliable staff that made sure everything that needed to be done was handled before I could even get my hands into it. I was only here because I’d been missing in action for two weeks and I felt the need to show my face.

“Waddup, Boss?”

I glanced to my left as an extended hand came my way. I accepted the shake of Rodney, one of my newest employees and the most rugged of the bunch. I didn’t hire him because he was experienced in the artifacts or the ins and out of what we did here, I hired him because he needed a job. He was very persistent in getting one when I met him and now that he had the position, he was doing everything he needed to do to keep it. You didn’t have to know the workings of a job to get the position- y’all president proved that- you just had to be hungry enough to do what was needed to get it. Rodney was hungry. He was also actively asking me everything that I knew about black art, black history and black love- all of the things we celebrated at Speaking Roots.

“Nothing much. You holding it down?” I asked him as I released his hand.

“I’m barely holding myself down,” he replied. “I’ve been reading.”

A slow smile graced my face. “Ah hell!”

He sucked his teeth before waving me over to walk with him. “Ah hell is right! Do you know what they did to her?”

He stopped in front of a sculpture that got a lot of attention for all the wrong reasons. But that was to be expected because that was her roots. That was her test and her testimony. “Sarah Baartman.”

“Yes!” Rodney insisted. “Do you know?”

I nodded. “Of course I know. It’s my job to know.”

He scrubbed his waves before shaking his head. “I never heard about her in History class. I never heard about no damn show that displayed black women as freaks because they had a fat ass.”

My head dropped, I tried to stop my smile from forming but I failed. Rodney was young and sort of a loose cannon, he reminded me of myself when I was right out of high school with fresh eyes and an open mind. I could understand his confusion, as well as the slight level of anger that laced his voice.

“They had her on a fucking chain like she some sort of animal, bruh. That’s bullshit.”

I had to agree. “Yeah! The thing that will really blow your mind is the fact that she started out as a free woman. She wasn’t a slave.”


“No!” I answered. “She wasn’t. She was born in the Camdeboo Valley based in the regions of South Africa and moved to England with a man who was also free. She was approached to perform and because of her finances or the lack there of, she agreed to become the main attraction for their show. It wasn’t until she was mistreated and mishandled that she discovered the error in that decision. That sound familiar to you?”

His eyes lowered before they bounced open. “That sounds like what strippers do to this day.”

“Bingo.” I replied before walking off, having him follow me.

“Man,” he stressed. “I ain’t ever going to another strip club again.”

“Again,” I questioned as I entered my office. “You’re only eighteen.” I sat behind my desk while looking up at him, removing the contents of my pockets and placing them on my desk. “What club let you in?”

He squinted before sucking his teeth. “Right! I ain’t never going to no strip club! Ever!”

“Man! Get out of here!” I laughed as he backed out of my office with a slick smile on his face. “Can you tell Tez that I need to see him?”

“You got it, Boss!” he yelled as he slapped the frame of my door and proceeded down the hallway. I stretched my neck, working my fingers to unlock my computer as my phone rang. It was as if the entire room got brighter when I saw the source of the call. “Hey, Butterfly.” I greeted, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

“Hey, Daddy,” Nylah replied, still calling me what she naturally felt was right and I nor Raheem felt the need to correct her. With all the changes that her life was taking, she still remained the same. It was teaching me a lot about how to handle life, even as a grown man. “My daddy told me to ask you for the other one because Mrs. Eryanna ain’t gone be giving him a lot. That’s what she said.”

My brows dipped as I tried to keep up with the conversation. “What’s she not gonna give him?”

“A sister.” Nylah popped as she snacked on something. “I want a brother and a sister and daddy said that Mrs. Eryanna only gone give me a brother so I gotta ask you for the sister.”

“Your dad told you to ask me that,” I questioned on the verge of laughter.

“Yes, sir. He told me to ask you.”

I exhaled. “How soon do you want this sister?”

I could hear her counting and more than likely, she was using her fingers. “Five days.”

She said that so nonchalantly that I burst into laughter. “Five days? Nylah.”

“You need six days, Daddy?”

I exhaled before leaning forward to place my elbows on the desk. “I’ll need more time than that.”

“You can’t get somebody to help you?” She questioned in a high pitched voice that let me know she didn’t understand why I needed so much time. The weird part was when she asked if I could get someone to help me, her mother didn’t pop into my head. The woman that had found a way to creep into my thoughts and dreams did. ExZhia. I often thought of her but I quickly pushed those thoughts away, knowing that I didn’t want to start anything with anyone. In the short amount of time that I was in her presence, I knew that she wasn’t looking for anything short term. She seemed to have her shit together and naturally, she would want a man on that same level.

I was still trying to find out who the hell I was outside of Serenity.

“I’ll figure it out and get back to you on that, Nylah.”

“Ok!” Her tone was so chipper that I hoped Raheem was actively working on her wish as we spoke. “You still coming to get me this weekend?”

I released a slow breath while rubbing my head. “Nylah, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“YAY!” She squealed. “I love you! I’m about to go play in Mrs. Eryanna hair! I’mma call you tomorrow, ok?”

She was so mature. “I’m gonna be waiting, Butterfly.”

She made a kissing sound before fumbling with disconnecting the call. At that exact moment, Tez- my best friend and head of security- knocked on the door. “Yo?”

I stood to dap him up before pulling him into a hug. “What’s up?!”

“Not shit.” He replied as he sat across from me. “You done handling business?”

The business he was referring to was my divorce. He was the first one to tell me to get it done as soon as everything went down. It wasn’t that Tez was anti-love or anti-marriage. He was just ant-bullshit. He knew the way I loved Serenity, the way I catered to her and for her to cheat on me in Tez eyes, it was bullshit.

I nodded. “Finalized.”

“That’s good shit,” He replied as he stretched his legs.

“How is my divorce good shit?”

He made a face that almost made me laugh. “Because your ex-wife was foul as fuck and you deserve better than that. You probably the most well rounded dude I know and the fact that she fucked you over makes me believe that she was born with bullshit coursing through her veins. With her fine ass.”

I gave him a puzzled look. “Really?”

He shrugged. “Her being fine don’t take away from the fact that she ain’t shit.”

I shook my head as I returned to my seat. “Either way,” I replied with a shrug. “I’m officially divorced.”

His large hands slapped my desk. “Good shit. So, me and the bros-.”

“Nah!” I cut him off. “I’m chilling.”

He gave me a big smile as he stood. “You didn’t let me finish.”

“When you said you and the bros that officially took me out of whatever plan you have. I am not fooling with y’all.”

He grunted before tossing his hands in the air. “Come on, Daniel witcho lame ass. You are a single man! We have to celebrate.”

“Celebrate my divorce?”

“You damn skippy,” He insisted. “We need to go out and get you a stripper to dance on you.”

The irony. “It’s gonna be a hard pass for me.”

“You better hard pass yo ass on this flight.”


“It’s already paid for and I know you have Nylah this weekend so I booked it for next weekend.”

My head was starting to pound already. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your divorce party.”

My head dropped as I grabbed the bridge of my nose. “My what?”

“Your divorce party! Everyone has one.”

“This is literally the first time I’ve ever heard those two words in a sentence.”

“That don’t matter.” Tez shot down. “We are going to make it happen. In fact, we already got the room, flight and rental taken care of. All you need to do is bring ya ass.”

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this easily, if at all. “Come on, Tez. I have a business to run so you know I can’t just up and leave. How long is this supposed trip?”

“Negro, you just came back from being gone two weeks.”

“Exactly why I can’t leave again.”

“This place runs itself. Why do you have an assistant manager if you don’t trust him to hold things down in your absence?”

That wasn’t the issue. “I do trust him.”

“Then it’s settled. I know you ain’t gone let me just waste my money like that.”

“I can’t do it.”

Tez shrugged his broad shoulders as if he didn’t give a shit about my dilemma.

“Two weeks.” He confirmed as he backed out of my office. “I’ll come pack your shit for you if you need me to.”

“Tez! You never even said where!”

A wicked smile covered his face as he hit the hallway. “Where else do you go to celebrate a divorce.”

“Nowhere!” I snapped.

“Sin City, Baby!”


Love Seems To Hate Us…#TeaserTuesday- The Pier…

Meet Maurice & Amavie !


God creates the unions of Dejunza, he molds your soul mate to cater to your every thought, need, and desire. He then places you two in the path of each other and seals your union through covenant.

Rifu’s life has been in complete despair since her soul was sent to Earth to complete life without her and the child that they created in love. Sphynx being chosen by The Bell was the beginning of Rifu’s spiral; one that left her confused and desolate. She pleads with The Court, The King & Queen- even prayers to GOD for her one true love to be returned to her. Finally, her prayers are answered, but the agreement comes with terms that Rifu cannot see herself becoming to.

Spynx was completely against his departure. Rifu is his heart, and he’d never imagined himself living without it, without her. There was no greater reward than being a husband to Rifu, and a father to their love child. But, The Bell cruelly chose him, ripping his soul from his body. Not willing to give up without a fight, he fought to stay, fought for love, fought for the happiness he knew could only come from Rifu.

Love or the idea of such a thing seems to be the last thing that will be granted to these two. As much as they fight to recall a time when they loved each other, love does little to nothing to assist in reclaiming those memories.

The Pier…



Maurice tried to remain calm when he felt Amavie slip her hand into his. He wasn’t expecting that move and was trying with everything that he had to respect her personal space. It was hard as hell to do when every time the wind blew, her scent, her hair, her beauty- it all seemed to be placed on instant display for him. They had been walking for about a half a mile when they stopped. Amavie turned to him, holding her hair out of her face as best she could. Maurice laughed at her struggle.

“You won’t be laughing when I shave my head bald.”

Maurice smiled at her. “Please never do that.” He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. “I can’t imagine you not having it.”

Amavie blushed as he continued to toy with her hair. It was always something that he loved about her and he would give her a line very similar to the one he just gave, every time she said anything about cutting it.

Amavie looked into his eyes and instantly got caught up in his gaze. It was so dark and penetrating that it shot right to her heart. She was starting to think that coming to the pier wasn’t a good idea. A chill raced up her spine at the same moment that the wind blew and a small wave hit the landing beneath them.

Without her having to ask, Maurice tugged off his suit jacket and wrapped it around her, pulling it together in front of her as the wind blew again. “I can’t have you getting cold on me.”

Amavie licked her, his mind and body battling for resolve as he took a step back from her, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, it’s usually pretty crowded. Must be God on my side, giving me alone time with you.”

When he winked at her, Amavie rolled her eyes. “You are so smooth.”

Maurice shrugged. “What can I say?”

Amavie pushed her hair behind her ear as she continued to look around.

“When can I take you out again?”

Amavie watched as he stepped closer to her, placing his hands on either side of her as their bodies nearly touched. She was engulfed in his scent, it’s potency making her feel needy. The abysmal part of it all was that she didn’t know what she needed, she just knew that whatever it was- it would come from Maurice. She would get it from him and the experience would be mind-blowing.

“Um- I don’t know. I have a lot of things that I need to line up but as soon as I get some of them out of the way, I wouldn’t mind doing this again.”

Maurice tucked his bottom lip in. “So, I did good then.”

Amavie gave him a knowing look. “You’re not that bad, Maurice.”

Maurice leaned in closer to her. “That’s good shit, Amavie.”

Amavie’s gaze dropped to his lips as he continued to move in to her. She was about to have a panic attack. He was going to kiss her. She wouldn’t let him do that. It was the first date. But then again, this man is her husband. Nothing that she did with him was defiled. She didn’t move.  In fact, she leaned into the kiss until their lips connected.

The first contact made her body tingle all over, Maurice had to shuffle his feet to get closer to her because he didn’t want to pull away. Her lips cushioned against his, stirring his soul and his mind all at once. He reached under his jacket to wrap his arms around her waist before he pressed his tongue against her bottom lip, instantly, Amavie opened for him. Allowing him to explore the depths of his mouth with his tongue. Amavie’s eyes fluttered closed as she reached out to grab the front of his shirt, holding on for dear life as he deepened the kiss, sending her head swirling with his tongue. A sound, deep from within her gut vibrated her lips as Maurice moved his hands around his jacket to grip her ass, pushing her against his erection as his hands pressed her to him. She knew her lipstick was smeared but she didn’t care. The chance that someone was getting a show was very high but she didn’t care about that neither. All she cared about was the man that was kissing her as if this were the last kiss he would ever have.

Maurice didn’t think he would ever get tired of kissing her. The subtle innocence in her tongue awoke the savage in him. He could imagine her not having experience kissing, there was no way. She was too beautiful to not have been kissed a million times over. He didn’t care about the clear lack of experience, what she lacked in experience she made up for in taste and feel. Her lips were so soft that they molded to his. The times when she gave him her tongue to have his way with made his dick hard and the way she was holding on to the front of his shirt silently encouraged him. He wasn’t stopping but he did slow up, allowing her to catch her breath as he placed small kisses on her lips and neck.

Her breathing was labored, coming out hard yet weak as Maurice serenely continued to kiss her. “I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy, Amavie but I’m not trying to control that shit. Not at all.”

Amavie’s eyes were low, almost to the point of closing. She felt drugged but in the best way. “I can’t believe I kissed you.”

Maurice continued to kiss her. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

Amavie closed her eyes and exhaled as she sounds of the river behind them pulled her in. “It’s the first date.”

Maurice chuckled against her neck. “Sweetheart, this isn’t even first base anymore. Kissing is almost a natural thing to do on the first date. First base is, something else.”

Amavie waited until he was looking into her eyes for a moment before she exhaled again. Her eyes bounced around his face for a moment before landing on his lips, then his eyes. “What- what’s first base?”

Maurice looked into her eyes as a slow smirk covered his face. “You want me to show you?”

Amavie’s eyes ballooned. “You can show me out here?”

Maurice slowly licked his lips as he looked down at her. “If you keep this jacket in place, I can.”

Amavie’s curiosity got the best of her. “Show me…”

Maurice reached down and touched her exposed thigh, never removing his eyes from hers as he pushed her dress up. Amavie couldn’t look into his eyes, it was too much so she dropped her gaze to his hand as it pushed her dress up. Her nerves were all over the place, chills raced all over her body as he moved his face closer to her, placing a kiss on her chin. “Have you ever had an orgasm on a pier, Amavie?”

Amavie subly shook her head as he pushed her dress up her thigh and. “No, I- it’s never happened.”

Maurice’s eyes lowered to her lips as her breath hitched in her throat, he didn’t want to give her too long to think. In one smooth, swift move, Maurice reached for her panties and pushed them to the side. He stepped into her, making her stand straight as he used his fingers to massage her clit.

Amavie’s entire body felt engulfed in heat. Her eyes closed as she braced herself against the railing behind her. Her hand slipped from his shirt as he used his fingers to penetrate her.  Amavie’s mind went blank when he groaned against her neck, rotating his tongue and his finger all at once. She closed her eyes and reached up to wrap her arm around him as he used his free hand to wrap it around her.

“This is first base, Amavie.”

Amavie nodded her head, unable to speak as he continued to stroke her. She turned to bury her face in his neck as she released a slow moan. “This is- definitely not first base.”

Her words came out in a breathless whisper against his beard cheek as he kissed her neck, moving back to her lips, taking them aggressively.

Amavie found the strength to grab him as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. She knew that she wasn’t in control at this moment, she also knew that she was too far gone to ever escape him.

He stopped kissing her at the exact moment everything around her seemed to still. Amavie felt all the weight of her body shift down to her legs as she struggled to stand on her heels. Her head slowly came up to look at Maurice as her spine stiffened. Her eyes glossed over before they fluttered. “Maur-”

“Don’t fight it,” Maurice coached, his arousal and need to see her come undone, draining his voice. “It makes them harder.”

Amavie blinked a few times before Maurice pressed his fingers into her, rubbed her clit before removing his hand from her, strumming the intro to her undoing.

Amavie could hear her heart beating in her chest. She felt the first spasm rock her as her eyes locked with Maurice’s then closed. “Shit.”

“I’m right here, baby.”

Amavie grabbed him tighter as her body quaked, she whimpered like a wounded cat as Maurice wrapped a secure hand around her, holding her against him. “Maurice.” she cried, not caring if anyone else on the pier heard her. Her ears rang, her body felt weak. She couldn’t do anything to fight against it, she had to ride it out.

“Ughhhhh,” she groaned against his shoulder as the last spasms left her body. Her hair fell into her face when she lifted her head and he gently pushed it away so that he could see her.

“You ok?” He pushed her hair over her shoulder as Amavie slowly released him.

Amavie nodded her head slowly, still trying to pull herself together. She looked down, her eyes going to his fingers. She couldn’t believe she had her very first orgasm, on a pier at East Lake with Maurice and his fingers. She wanted to jump into the water to hide from him.

“You don’t need to be ashamed, Amavie.”

She pulled in air before she released it, looking him in his eyes as he continued to push her hair back. “That’s first base.”

Amavie huffed as she looked into his eyes. “That’s first base?”

He leaned in a kissed her lips. “It is in my world, baby. Let me get you home.”

Amavie slowly followed him when he grabbed her hand and began to walk back down the pier.


I know there has been set back after set back but Im pushing through and I’m gonna make sure your Summer has a lot of Deshon Dreamz HEAT!



From The Dejunza Series: Love Seems To Hate Us Coming 4/7/2018

Coming 4.7.18 
Love Seems To Hate UsGod creates the unions of Dejunza, he molds your soul mate to cater to your every thought, need, and desire. He then places you two in the path of each other and seals your union through covenant.

Rifu’s life has been in complete despair since her soul was sent to Earth to complete life without her and the child that they created in love. Sphynx being chosen by The Bell was the beginning of Rifu’s spiral; one that left her confused and desolate. She pleads with The Court, The King & Queen- even prayers to GOD for her one true love to be returned to her. Finally, her prayers are answered, but the agreement comes with terms that Rifu cannot see herself becoming to.

Spynx was completely against his departure. Rifu is his heart, and he’d never imagined himself living without it, without her. There was no greater reward than being a husband to Rifu, and a father to their love child. But, The Bell cruelly chose him, ripping his soul from his body. Not willing to give up without a fight, he fought to stay, fought for love, fought for the happiness he knew could only come from Rifu.

Love or the idea of such a thing seems to be the last thing that will be granted to these two. As much as they fight to recall a time when they loved each other, love does little to nothing to assist in reclaiming
those memories.


Please enjoy these first two chapters of “Love Seems To Hate Us” coming 4/7/2018! Unedited/ Subject to change

Chapter One


Rifu’s long, wool-like trenches flew behind her like a silk adlib aiding her pursuit into the chambers of the king and queen. She didn’t allow time for a moment of clarity. She didn’t want it. She didn’t want to second guess her decision and more than anything, she wanted to be heard. The moment she pushed the doors open, swords were drawn in her direction.

“At ease.” Queen Umi’s voice announced as her eyes took in the protruding belly of the intruder. The only woman of Dejunza that was with child at this time. She stood from her throne, her black and gold dreadlocks braided back, showcasing the depths of her cheekbones. Her husband sat beside her, looking over at his wife and wondering how she would handle the latest outburst from Rifu.

The soldiers at the door followed the command of the queen, taking a step back from their charged positions. Rifu eyed them with a snarl as she continued in her mission. “I want Spynx.”

This request was not the norm for the Queen Umi stepped down from her throne as Rifu approached. “We have discussed this as a leaf turned over a dozen times.”

“And yet the wounds I bare hold value. Maumivu (Pain) by the day over.”

Queen Umi exhaled. “Kuelewa.” (Understand.)

Rifu didn’t want to be rude or assertive but she knew that Queen Umi would give her the same spill that was given to her before when she asked to be reunited with Spynx. She would be having his child any day now so in Rifu’s eyes, they should be together in this moment to share in the joy of the experience. “This is not the way of this land. Our God made us promises! Promises that I throw back in his face for him to uphold! I am not to bear children alone for I did not impregnate myself! Spynx, my husband planted his seed within me. That seed now flourishes to its full potential and you tell me that the land that I love would forsake me to leave me here as a mother alone? Oh, I curse the God’s and I forbid it. I did this thing right. I deserve my husband.”

Queen Umi’s eyes watered as she looked down at a pleading Rifu. Her words ripped through the woman inside of the queen, churning at her soul with each syllable that was spoken unto her. She turned back to the king, watching him watch her and knowing that he didn’t like the tone that Rifu was taking but she understand her frustrations, having been ripped from her sons at the exact moment that Rifu was ripped from her husband. She didn’t have a resolution for Rifu, well- she didn’t have one that she thought would calm the expecting mother. Only throw fuel to the fire that Queen Umi could not seem to cool down. “Rifu, this is for the better. For the best.”

“For the best of whom? Nani?” (Who?)

“Kila mtu!” (Everyone!)

Rifu shook her head as tears formed in her eyes. “Si Mimi. (Not Me.) Sio motto wangu (Not my child).”

Queen Umi’s gut twisted in agony. “Please, Rifu…”

Her tears danced in her eyes before sliding down her ebon skin. Rifu could not hold them any longer; gold tears rejoined in her weeping, sliding down her face as a thing of beauty that dwelled well in her torment. “What am I to do without him?”

“We have one other solution,” King Jinne finally spoke, seemingly shaking the walls of the solidified kingdom as he did so.

“No, Jinne!” Queen Umi hissed at her husband. “We will not lay those-”

“Tell me,” an anxious Rifu pleaded as she swiped her face to clear her blurred vision. “Please, tell me what I have to do. I am to give birth soon and I don’t want to bring my child here and raise him without his father. I need to be with Spynx.”

“That is no longer his name,” Queen Umi spoke, her voice somber. “He is now Maurice of Earth.”

Rifu’s low eyes swooped even lower. “Maurice?” She mumbled the name, low in her belly, allowing the syllables to slip off her tongue.

“Yes, that is how he is titled.”

“Then I need to get to Maurice. I need him to know that I love and need him. I know that my words ring loud of a desperate woman but I have saw women whimper for things of a lesser value. Spynx is…” Rifu blinked, her mind catching up with her heart. “Maurice is worth every nanosecond of the trouble. Please?”

The King puffed his chest out, not wanting to but needing to step on the toes of his wife. Spynx had been gone long enough for Rifu to understand the extent of the situation, yet she pleaded day in and day out to be reunited with her love. In the King’s eyes, the least they could give her was all of her options. “We can send you to Earth to be with Spynx.”

Rifu’s eyes rounded before she smiled, her perfect teeth in complete contrast to her complexion. “What must I do to obtain such a blessing?”

Rifu felt as if the weight of the world sat on her shoulders. She had been in her bed crying her eyes out for what seemed like an eternity and nothing that she did or said to herself made her feel any better. This thing called life was chewing her up and spitting her out, or at least that was how she felt at this stage in her life. She felt lost, abandoned, and guilty. She even felt shame at the fact that she had considered the proposal the king and queen placed in front of her. The most pressing feeling she was dealing with at the moment was anger. She knew that he was forced away but she was still so upset with Spynx Extremely upset. She felt like he could have done more to petition the king and queen. Done more to stay with her.

Now, she was left with an ultimatum that would rip her already tampered heart into shreds.

She could be reunited with Spynx on the grounds of leaving her child in Dejunza for the first year of his or her life because they couldn’t survive the trip to Earth. Additionally, she learned that Spynx had been ripped of any memory of her so, she wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms in her reunion with him. She was torn and devastated. She didn’t want to leave her child, yet she didn’t want to lose love. She didn’t want to lose Spynx but she knew that she would never agree to leave her child behind, that would just be doing the same exact thing that Spynx did to her. She dug her face into her pillow as she used her arms to wrap her stomach, rubbing it gently as she rocked in her bed, fear swallowing her whole. She would never abandon her child. Never. So, she knew that she would have to endure life without her soul mate. That thought made her shudder in fear but she knew that there was no other way to do it. No other way.

Rifu walked down the hallway of her home with her thoughts all over all the place. Everywhere she turned, she had a memory of Spynx. His clothes. His scent. Everything around her reminded her of him. She walked down the hallway to the nursery that they built together the moment they found out they were having a boy. Rifu smiled as she began rubbing her stomach, knowing that she was doing the right thing by staying on Dejunza in order to raise her child. Rifu wouldn’t be alone- she had family that would help her through this process and she knew that the foundation that her life was built on was strong enough for her to withstand the life she was forced to live.

The doorbell chimed, drawing Rifu’s attention to it. She walked towards the front of her house, expecting her mother and father. Once she received the news on Spynx and her inability to be with him, she called her mother to vent her frustrations which turned into her mother overacting and stating that she was concerned about both Rifu and the child that she was carrying.

Rifu opened the door for her parents, watching as her petite mother pushed beyond her and stepped into her house without an invitation from her. Her father, who was the more put together of the two, shook his head as he leaned in and placed a kiss on Rifu’s head and pulled her into a hug. “Habari yoko, Rifu?” (How are you?)

Rifu gave her father a warm smile before she stepped out of his embrace. Her parents still held tight to their roots and traditions. The elders of Dejunza were held at the highest level of respect in their tribe. The Uoni Tribe was built on the morals of God & Family. Those were the two main values that held the entire tribe together. Though it wasn’t looked upon, marrying outside of the tribe was not banished. That was how she was able to marry Spynx though he was of the Mozi Tribe- one that was even more flexible in their requirements. Her parents, as well as the other elders of the planet, stood apart, even in the thickness of their tongues and the depths of their accents. They spoke in “knocks” and “crashes”. Their accent made it sound their words floated on wind then ran into brick walls at the end or in the middle of sentences. “Mimi ni sawa, baba.” (I am fine, father.)

Je! Mtoto huyo ni wapi?” (How is the baby?)

“Active!” Rifu spat with a laugh as she and her father begin to move deeper into the house, following her mother that was already moving things around in the kitchen to cook. “What made you bring the tiny tyrant?”

Rifu’s father, Makoni Umi grinned as he watched his wife move around their daughter’s kitchen, releasing grunts that reflected her discontent as she did so. “Ahhh, she do it all from love, Rifu. Mama. Mlinzi. (The protector)

Rifu rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Yeye ni shida!” (She is trouble)

Makoni walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife, lovingly gazing into her eyes, stopping her storming around. “All trouble ist not bad, Rifu.

Rifu tried. She really did try to tune out the love that was so effortlessly showcased between her parents. Even in moments like this, when they weren’t intentionally being mushy- they were extremely mushy. The love they had for each other was always something that Rifu saw herself someday having. She always hoped for it and was sure it would be the way that she spent her life once she met and fell in love with Spynx. She watched her father kiss her mother against her lips, seemingly calming her down the moment their lips touched. That was as far as intimacy went in Dejunza, outside of the act of mating altogether which transitioned a pair into a deeply embedded soul tie. There was virtually nothing or no one that could break that tie. It was something that she knew she had with Spynx. It was also something that she now doubted.

She and Spynx had married, mated and now she was carrying his seed. A seed that she would deliver and raise alone. That reality had been haunting her for days after it was discovered.

Je! Umesikia neo?” (Have you heard a word?) Her mother’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and back into the reality of this moment.

Without having to ask, Rifu knew that her mother was asking about Spynx. “No, mama. Yeye ni duniani. (He is on Earth.)

Ye! If you fatha was of Earth. The mountains and planets would quake at my need to have him close. Hakuna kitu kinanaisimama.” (Nothing would stop me!)

Offended, Rifu uncrossed her arms. “I have tried to be reunited with Spynx, mama. I have tried to-“

“Harder you try! Harder!”

Rifu hissed. “Harder?”

Je! Si nafsi yako?” (Is he not your soul?)

Rifu was almost roaring when she spoke, “He is everything!”

“Ahhhhhh Jayiki,” her father soothed, calling his wife by her first name, a rarity for him. “Go easy on her. She is yet without hu soul and with child.”

“She no willing tuh fight fuh hu soul, Makoni. Dhe mate fuh hu soul.”

“I am fighting. I asked the king and queen! I petitioned the Bell and the Court.”

“Eh wha dem say yu?” Her mother pressed. “Hmm?”

“Th- that I can’t be with Spynx on Earth without abandoning my unborn child and I refuse to do that, mama.”

“What r yu talkin about?” Her father questioned.

Rifu turned tear rimmed eyes to her father. “The only way I am to be with Spynx is to leave the child that we created for the first year of his life because he would not be able to survive the trip to Earth. It would kill him.”

“They gah yuh choice and yuh choose tuh stay here?”

“To be with my child, mama!”

“And neglect yuh soul?”

Her mother didn’t understand the logic because since she was sixteen years old, she had her father. They met young, and he had been everything she needed to survive. God had molded her help mate for life and he gave her to him at a very early. Her parents have been together for almost thirty- five years and neither of them had been disloyal to the other. That wasn’t tolerated in Dejunza. Furthermore, it wasn’t desired. Families stayed together through the good and the bad because they were molded and created by God and like the bible says, What God puts together let no man put asunder. Her parents lived by that. Her entire tribe lived by that.

Rifu wiped gold across her face. She was tired of crying, tired of being upset. “ I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Whu yuh no wanna-”

“No, mama! I’m going to bed. I’m tired so I am going to lay down. Please, allow me to rest.”

Rifu didn’t wait to be excused, which she knew was rude but she didn’t want to be under the judgmental glare of her mother. She wasn’t leaving her child. That was the end of it.

When she left out of the room, she went straight to her bedroom- completely exhausted. Everything around her was moving too fast and she couldn’t keep up. Her focus right now was getting her child here safely, but it seemed that everything went right back to Spynx and his absence. She wondered if he was experiencing the torment that she was.





Chapter Two


Maurice Stockton grabbed his briefcase off the desk in his office and peered out the window of the thirty floor building that he had worked in for the past year, feeling a moment of euphoria settling over him. Today was a good day for the most part and he learned early on that he had to count those days as blessings. He was settling into his life on Earth, adjusting to the culture and soaking up the meaning and extent of being a black man in the city of New York. That was where he landed and stayed once he arrived to Earth and he was thankful for that. The city fit him well, from the hustle of his Sport’s Agent position for one of the largest sports firm in the United States, down to the grit of and grim of the north side. His life was fast paced; he was usually up early and in late- tonight was no different.

He grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his desk chair and released a sigh as he began to walk out of his office, interrupted by a knock at the door that sounded the moment he began making his exit. He adjusted his jacket on his arm before clearing his throat to speak, “Come in.”

His colleague and rival in a sense, Celeste Davis, walked into his office holding a file to her busty chest. “Late night, Maurice?”

Maurice gave her a once over before he began to walk closer to her. “I have to work overtime if I want to stay above water with you.”

“Come on, Maurice. You don’t need to set your standards so high.”

Maurice released a hearty chuckle as Celeste stood before him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Celeste was not in any way bashful about the position that she held within the company. The salaries and endorsements of her clients combined made up the second highest grossing intake of any agent under the Motivated Creations Agency netting a little under fifty million a year between contracts, endorsements and co-assignments. She represented some of the best in football, soccer and basketball- each of her clients excelling in their perspective fields making her a very successful woman. For a woman in her field, her credits were basically unheard of. To make it blunt, men didn’t trust women enough to have her handle his image, finances and advancements. She had come a long way in her developments and she didn’t halt in flaunting her success around the office. That made her come off as a bitch but that wasn’t the case at all, she was just proud and at moments, she felt the need to verbally express that. For Motivated Creations, she was number one with Maurice following her up at a strong second. Celeste knew that Maurice was on the verge of surpassing her, though she had been in her position for over five years and he was rounding out his first year. He had a contract with a first round draft pick who is expected to come out in the early stages of the first round on the table. She knew that if the ink dried on that contract, Maurice would have her position as number one. But she didn’t mind being second, not to him anyway.

“In the year that I’ve known you, you have never been the modest type.” Maurice walked to the door and pulled it open before he turned back to Celeste. “What are you plans for the night?”

Celeste moistened her lips before she stepped into him. “You. You, sir are my plans.”

Maurice knew that becoming intimate with Celeste was playing with fire but for the last three months, he had been doing just that. He believed their arrangement worked so well was because he was upfront and honest about his feeling on serious relationships or the lack thereof and Celeste fortunately for him had that same mindset.

Celeste was a beautiful woman, dipped in the essence of her up north upbringing. Light brown skin, deep rich ebony doe eyes, the facial structure of a runway model and the body of a down south stripper. Glancing down at the watch on his wrist, Maurice returned his gaze to her before he spoke, “I thought you had that dinner thing with your girls on Friday’s?”

“I got rid of those plans, Maurice.”

“Why would you do that, Celeste?”

Celeste full on smiled, walking closer to him until she was standing directly in front of him. His manly scent made her cream between the legs as she took in the silent ubiquity of his manhood- the silent demanding of Maurice. The pose and control. He spoke low, deep within his throat but every word he said was spoken in a tone that naturally summoned attention. He screamed masculine vitality with every word that he spoke. Maurice was beyond Webster fine. He stood at a 6’5, muscular build with smooth fawn skin covering his body, deep waves in his hair, and a solitary dimple in his left cheek. His eyes were a deep rich brown that pulled you in when he spoke with those thick, plump lips surrounded by his perfect thick beard. He was perfect, sexy as hell- from the way he dressed to the slight accent in his speak that spoke of places that he would never allow her close enough to divulge. She didn’t want more from Maurice, she was fine just sexing him being that he did that shit so well. No one in her experience had ever been in tune with her body the way Maurice was. She knew where to come when she needed a fix and she knew that he was the only one that could give it to her with no reservations.

“So, where are we doing this Maurice? Your place or mine?”

Maurice gave her a sexy grin before shaking his head. “Follow me.”

Celeste stepped into stride beside him as they left the office.

“Oh, fuck! Maurice!”

Maurice moved behind Celeste, his dick entering her ruthlessly as he pounded away the stress of his day. This was what she wanted. This was their arrangement so he gave to her, until he had nothing left to give.

Celeste was in complete bliss. Her body glistened with sweat as Maurice gripped her small waist, admiring the waves of her ass with each stroke he took into her.

“Your dick is so fucking big, Maurice. Shit!”

Maurice released her hips to smack her ass before gripping her again, tucking his lip and pounding into her harder until she was whimpering like a wounded animal in the dead of the night. She reached back to press her hand against his well-toned stomach, trying to create some resistance but the more she pushed, the more he pushed back. Working his hips at an angle that made Celeste cream all over him.

He wasn’t making love to her. He was fucking her and yes, there is a difference between the two. Maurice couldn’t recall a time when he felt love, not since leaving his planet. That was something that he missed most about Dejunza, the love, and hope that he was constantly surrounded by. His tribe, his parents, his siblings. Everyone around him reinforced love inside of him. He missed that. He felt void without it. His memories of Dejunza were minimal, small details that allowed him to remain attached to it, but not so much that he felt the need to get back to it. He missed the peace but on Earth, he was content. He felt refreshed as if he had a new life to live the way that he wanted to live it. With his position among the elite, he held a lot of power in a lot of areas in his life that he could not recall having in Dejunza.

So, love was a foreign emotion. Dejunza was slowly but surely becoming a foreign place. Everything around him was shifting to building a life on Earth and so far, he had been doing a hell of a job. Sex with Celeste was something he did in his spare time. All he felt was lust and a need for sex. He was Americanized; his need for sex elevated and he never had an issue getting what he needed. Never.

“I’m gonna cummmmm, Maurice!”

Maurice smirked as Celeste screamed at the top of her lungs, announcing her release.

Once she came, Maurice pulled out of her and walked into the bathroom to clean himself. His thoughts went back to the woman that he left in his bedroom, trying to gather her breath. He full on smiled as he turned on his shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist before he returned to the doorway of his bedroom. Celeste lay on the bed, pulling the sheet around her naked body as she continued to pull air through her lungs.

“You ok?”

The baritone of his voice made chill bumps form all over her skin. She tucked her lip in before rolling over to look at him. “You ask me that after you fuck the shit out of me, Maurice?”

Maurice rubbed his chin before chuckling. “You asked me to fuck you harder.”

“That I did.” Celeste blushed.

Maurice held his hands out, shrugging his shoulders. “My dick and I are here to serve.”

Celeste released a moan. “I am so so so so thankful for you and your dick.”

The darkness of the room shifted as the sun began to rise. They had been fucking all night yet Maurice felt as if he could run a marathon.

“What are your plans for today?” Celeste asked, as she shifted out of the bed, pulling the cover with her.

Maurice lifted off the doorframe and watched her walk closer to him. “I have a meeting with Jayshree Keller.”

Celeste smirked. “Oh, Mr. Number One. It looks like you’re wrapping that thing up today, huh?”

Maurice loved sexing Celeste but he knew where to draw the line with her. There was no way he was getting into the details of his meeting with Jayshree. Celeste was a headhunter in every sense of the word- he knew that if he gave her anything, she would take it and run with it. “Just a small meeting, nothing major.”

Final Still Stoned: Breaking Stone Teaser…

…you can’t punch Stone.

Hey Guys! As we bend the curve of the fourth leg of this race, I want to say that I appreciate every single one of you that took the time to read this series and support me on this journey into Paranormal. I enjoy writing in this genre and it looks as if you guys enjoy reading this genre from me so Paranormal & I will be together for a long time.

So…with that said. I have one final teaser of Still Stoned: Breaking Stone for your reading pleasure. Don’t forget. 02.14! The Stoner in you will need to be indulged.



His entire body ached from having to maneuver his large frame on the couch all night, knowing that Eryanna wouldn’t want him anywhere near her. He was embarrassed, ashamed but he was also partially in agreement with Stone and his actions. What Eryanna’s father said to her was disrespectful and uncalled for in his eyes. He knew of Yatti, knew of the things that he had Eryanna into but he didn’t hold that against her because she was young and finding her way through life, just like she was now. He didn’t have to know her back then to know that she had changed and grew for the better, he could see that by looking into her eyes. Yes, she had been through some things and put her loved ones through some things but who was he to judge her with a past as ugly as his.

“I went through your phone and called Lyles and Heather, letting them know that you were ok. They wanted to speak to you but I told them that you were sleeping. They said that they didn’t trust that so they are on their way here.”

She just looked at him as if he weren’t the same man that had the ability to drive her crazy with a kiss or gentle touch. She looked at him as if she didn’t know who he was and that part hurt Raheem to the core of him. Her gaze didn’t waver, it stayed dead center on him.

“I apologize, Eryanna. I plan to reach out to your parents as well to extend my apologies to them. What I did was reckless and –”

“You know about Yatti?”

He didn’t react. Didn’t flinch at the mentioning of him. Raheem smoothly tucked his hands into his pockets as he looked over at her, his expression blank. “Yes.”

“But you never told me you knew!” Eryanna snapped as she walked up to him. “I even asked you! When you told me that you looked me up, I asked you what came up and you led me to believe that nothing came up when I fucking knew better!”

“Eryanna,” he pleaded, his hand reaching out to touch her but she snatched away from him.

“No, Raheem!”

“I didn’t say anything to you about knowing because your past doesn’t have anything to do with the woman that you are now. The woman that you are to me.”

“The woman that I am to you was molded by the girl that I was to him. This shit-” Eryanna shook her head with an exhale. “Do you not see how fucking unhealthy this is? Raheem, you are crazy, dude! Fucking crazy!”

Raheem dropped his head. “I’m trying, Eryanna.”

“You say that but your actions are always different. Your actions always say something different from what comes out of your mouth!”

Raheem scrubbed his hands over his face with a grunt.

“And what happened to my hand? I hit you and it breaks! Then I wake up and feel nothing but you wrapped it.”

“I wrapped it in case it didn’t take.”

“What didn’t take?”

Raheem again moved his eyes away from hers, not wanting to say what was needed in order to give her clarity or…confuse her more. “You can’t punch people, Eryanna. You especially can’t punch Stone!”


Still haven’t gotten Stoned?

What are you waiting for?! Stoned” Your Heart Belongs To Me