I woke up…torn.
Part of me was extremely excited because my 12th book releases today. But the other side of me, the more dominate half was in deep thought.
I was thinking. Hmmm, 12 books. 12.
None of them have hit number one or the top five on the charts for that matter.
For some reason, you’re overlooked and underrated.
You’ve been writing for three years and you still have not reached the title of best seller. For some reason, you can’t grab it. You can’t claim it. Nothing that you’ve done has worked.
You gave hood love.
You gave mushy love.
You gave romance
You’ve touched on social issues.
You’ve literally hit this writing thing at every angle and you have yet to get to where you want to be.
That fact…is slightly depressing.
What do you have to do, Deshon?
What can you do?
When you are literally giving your all to the thing that you love and it seems as if that thing will never fully return its appreciation.
I’m a single mother, I work a full-time job and I’m a writer.
I stretch myself to the point of exhaustion most times to meet mental deadlines that I have set for myself.
But even with all that, I never half step. I’m never mediocre in my writing. Nothing with me is ever typical. Nothing. I am not anywhere near the perfect writing but I take my time thinking through plots. I become my characters. I live and breathe my writing. I’m one with pen.
Why am I constantly missing the mark?
I have no idea.
But…I don’t care to dwell on it.
This blog post will be as far as this pity party goes. I refuse to limit myself due to others not recognizing the talent that I have. I know this gift it GOD given so it will eventually make room for me.
It’s 100000000% ok to know that you are dope at what you do. I don’t think anyone is doing something that they love, just to be wack at it. I know I’m not wack! My pen has never let me down.
I mean…whole plots have been stolen and tried to be replicated. Someone is reading. *sips tea*
I’ve been writing for a very long time. I feel it is the most evolutionary matter of expression for me.
I’ve struggled my entire life. Been through things that I will never openly discuss. Been through things that hurt me to even think about. Been betrayed in a way that would break even the strongest of people. I refuse to give up. I don’t have room to.
With anything in life, I always push through. Somehow, I keep a smile on my face.
Even with this industry and writing, I have things done and said to me that was meant to literally break me. I can admit to having a sensitive nature, being subdued and laid back. That’s how I’ve always been. Just me, my pen and my paper. Writing thoughts that should have been spoken out loud but I was never bold enough to get that done.
A hybrid of love and uncertainty.
A Poet & Activist
A Painter & Procrastinator
I can admit that.
My heart lives on my fingertips. Literally pays rent there.
I’m a mess.
But I’m passionate and I love hard. Writing is the love of my life and it keeps getting sidetracked by side bitches and pimps.
I’m a prostitute. Selling myself short for a namesake who could care less where this first love developed or where it gave me my first kiss. Does not matter what I want to say, long as it’s along the line of the masses.
I could never.
I tried fitting in for a while in high school, sir. That shit didn’t work.
I will never knock a hustle. What people want to do and say is solely on them. I can’t tell anyone how to love a passion. I wouldn’t dare.
But…always do what you want. What your heart wants. What love wants.
As I wait for my book to go live, I want to leave with this.
Don’t allow people to run over you.
Speak up. You can’t go your entire life allowing things to happen because you’re passive.
Your passion is to be taken seriously by anyone that will have a part of that.
In making your passion your paycheck, never adjust the way you look at your passion. Never allow it to be “just a check” because you will fall out of love.
Be a boss.
If you want to do something, go for it.
Most of the time when I speak…I’m just encouraging myself. A lot of you guys missed #MotivationMonday
I think it’s fitting to post it here.
If ever you find yourself needing validation. Search self first. God dwells in you. His strength is accessible to you. Dig within self and realize how amazing you are. Look at what you’ve been through. Look at what you’ve endured. Then glance in the mirror and see how flawless you are honey. You are a diamond. You have been put through the fire. Pressed and pressured. You have endured. You have encountered some things that would break even the strongest of beings and my GOD...you are still breathtaking. What is your trick? How do you do it? It’s that inner peace. That inner GOD. That inner being that knows your worth, even when you doubt it.
Another human being…could never validate you the way that GOD can. Never. Your worth is put in place by GOD…not man.
Love Yourz. – Dreamz #MotivationMonday
Good Morning, #DreamzTeam. Be AMAZING!
Love you guys! Hopefully Crowned 3 will be available soon.!